


Protector, Future, Lover

by DesolateDreamer



Series: The Life of Tania Carter [1]
Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Drama, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-27
Updated: 2017-09-27
Packaged: 2019-01-06 03:02:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 43
Words: 71,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12202587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DesolateDreamer/pseuds/DesolateDreamer
Summary: When a new girl comes to live on the outskirts of the city, she doesn't realise just how new things will get. Is it possible vampires exist? Meanwhile it looks like she isn't the only new one in town. Set in England. Vampires. AU. No Bella. Jasper/OC





	1. Ali and Ro's

The two hour drive from the small town to the outskirts of the city seemed shorter than it was. I watched the cars and trees and fields go past. The sun was hot that day, making the warm skin on the back of my legs stick to the leather back seat. The air conditioning wasn't enough, which was the norm for the start of summer. The interior of the car contrasted with the brightness of outside with the solid blue of the sky and bright green of the grass. The road in which we were travelling on only ruined it when I looked forward. Out the side window, it was almost peaceful. The speed of it flashing past made me wish we could slow, which was very out of character for me. I loved speeding in the car.

Paramore was blasting through the speakers under my window and in the front of the car. I lip synced to the lyrics, too afraid to sing in case I would be heard. I liked to sing, but I apparently wasn't good at all.

I wasn't this reluctant to come before. I had wanted to go. But I would miss my friends… very much. My dad would be even more alone now I was further away from him. I would miss seeing the sea from outside my bedroom window. And the seagulls eating the food in next door's garden. The smell of salt in the early morning when I would walk to the bus stop to get to school. And even though everything was for poor people (like us), I would still miss it.

This new place would be very different to the small town. It was big, fancy, and expensive. My mother saw it as a huge bonus – a free house right on the outskirts of the city! Her husband would be able to get to work cheaply, without all the complications. We would have more money coming in than going out.

And as for me… I would be going into sixth form.

I disliked my old school for making us the "accelerated year". They had been testing out something new on our year, meaning everything we did would be a year early. It was crazy. I had ten GCSEs, and I was fifteen. A fifteen year old sixth former?!

I was so worried about school after the summer. I would be the youngest in the year. Therefore, I would earn the title "nerd", "geek" and "boffin" on the first day. I was excited, nervous, but mostly nervous. I thought the stress of GCSE years had been bad enough. This would be truly nerve-wracking.

All too soon, the car pulled up into the driveway of my new home. The song was stopped abruptly. My mother, too excited to remember to take out the CD, jumped out the car. I pushed the seat forward, grumpily.

For a few moments, I stood in the driveway, taking in the house for the third time in my life. My mind had tampered with my memory, making me remember it wrongly. I remembered the wrong front lawn. And the front door was at the front of the house.

We carried the last of the bags inside as we had already moved most of the stuff in. I quickly raced up the stairs into my new room, examining every surface. I took in every detail of this room, which would be my own for now.

I set to work, unpacking my things and putting up posters. My calendar was on July, but it was still during school time. My mother had had to take me out of school early once I had done my exams. We got the house so soon, we had to move out right away or we would loose it.

I set up my computer pretty quickly. It was easy, I had done it so many times before. I hung up all my clothes in my wardrobe. There weren't many, but we would be able to afford more now. And then I slumped on my bed, trying to take in everything.

I plugged my iPod into my speakers and listened to some gentle music, trying to relax. Curling up on my bed, I faced away from the window. My mother came in through the door as the next song started.

"It's all nice in here now you've unpacked." she mused, smiling.

My mother walked over to the window and opened the curtains a little more so the tiniest bit more light could reach the room.

"Hmm." I couldn't think of what to say for the answer. I wasn't sure if I liked, or should like my new room yet.

"We're going to redecorate downstairs first," she continued, turning to face me. "And then upstairs."

"Kay." I sat up so I was sitting cross-legged on the bed, flicking the short strands of hair, curling into the front of my eyes, away.

"What do you want for lunch?"

I paused for a moment, not really hungry. "I think I'll go into town and have a look around."

"Oh… ok." I wasn't really the social kind of person, but I had to meet some people around, right? Otherwise I wouldn't know anyone when I went to school. Well, hopefully I would meet someone at school.

So even if I had intended to stay in that day, I had to go out for lunch now. "See you later!" I called out once I had got my bag, and my shoes were on.

"Bye!" my mother called out.

Things weren't that much different to the town when I was at home. The house was different, but my family was the same. Why wouldn't they be?

Once I was outside I decided to put my iPod on low. If I was going to be social, this was what I had to do. I was already acting out of character today. This was proof.

I walked down the road to the town we had visited when we had come the first time. It was too fancy. Branded shops I had never heard of filled the houses on either side of the road. Spidery lettering across one of the windows caught my eye and I noticed it was selling jewellery. As I looked in the window, stopping for a moment, I saw the high prices and looked away. The clothes shops, to my horror, were so highly priced; I feared I would have to go all the way into the city to find something I could wear from a known shop.

Since it was a Friday, the town wasn't very busy because it was still school time. There was the occasional person walking down the street, but that was it. Typical – the one time I want to be social, and there's no one around. 'Who's being anti-social now?' I thought bitterly.

I finally found a shop where the clothes weren't outrageously expensive and had a look around. The styles were very different to what I had been comfortable with. You could never go wrong with jeans and t-shirts, and since I had an awful fashion sense, I just wore that.

As I found something, I lifted it from one of the racks and looked at the long t-shirt up and down. Deciding it didn't stand out enough for me to want to wear it at all, I placed it back and wondered over to the summer section.

I spent some time looking at the dresses. I loved summer dresses, but they weren't really my thing. I wasn't intending to get any.

"This one goes with your hairstyle." said a female voice behind me.

I turned to see a pretty, short girl with short, black hair (much in the same style as mine). Her bright amber eyes immediately stood out. Her voice was like bells. She defiantly worked here, since she was wearing a name tag. 'Alice Cullen'.

I tilted my head slightly at the dress she was holding up. It was white, making her skin look deathly pale. Over the top of it was a short blue denim jacket. It was perfect.

"Just what I was looking for." My face lit up in excitement. "Thanks."

She handed me the dress, smiling in satisfaction. "I know some other similar styles if you want."

I glanced at the price tag, and saw it was quite cheep. I still had some more money to spend. "Sure." I nodded.

Alice took me round the store showing me kind of stuff available. It was mostly clothes, but there were some shoes and make-up too. I had never had this much fun shopping before. I hoped Alice went to the local school, she was really nice. She told me she owned the shop with her sister, Rosalie, and they were open everyday except Sundays. Too soon, I had run out of cash, so I bought the clothes and pair of shoes I had gathered, including the white dress.

I found a small café where I had some lunch. I sat by myself listening to my music, but I didn't mind. I got tired of socialising pretty quickly. Alice was more than enough for now.

When I began walking back home it was already three and the sun had gone in the sky, covered by a large grey cloud. Sighing, I quickened my pace, not wanting to get myself or my new clothes wet. The bags were only made of paper. Luckily, I made it into the house just as it started spitting.

"Hi." greeted my mother at the door.

"Hey." I smiled, going into the living room. She followed.

I started taking the clothes out of the bags, on the sofa. "I got some new clothes in town."

"Oh, cool." She grinned holding up the white dress. "Which shop?"

"Ali and Ro's." I recalled.

She retrieved the receipt out one of the bags. "Did you really get all this for fifty pounds? I thought it was fancy here."

"Me too." I agreed, folding back up some of the clothes. "But that shop isn't. Alice said she owns it with her sister there though."

"Home business…" My mother began examining the not-so-high red heels. "Alice?"

"I think that's what the Ali, in the name is. She helped me pick out the clothes – she's really nice."

She smiled warmly. "You're already making friends. See, it's not so bad here."

I shrugged. "Maybe."

* * *

 

**Hey, DesolateDreamer here. I decided to post my old fic from ff. net on here as I have started a sequel and wanted to share it. If you wish to skip ahead or read the sequel you can visit me on that site (same username), but I will be uploading both fics on here. _PFL_ is an old fic and took me a few years to write so there is a vast difference in the writing between this and later chapters as well as my new sequel, _Healer, Defender, Partner_. Hope you enjoy!  & Please leave me some feedback. **


	2. Friends

**Jasper**

Not for the first time, I was glad it was sunny. Out of every season, summer was the worst – especially when it came to high school. The heat that caused the humans to sweat…. I hated it. Humans smelt absolutely putrid in summer, yet at the same time I wanted to drain their small bodies from blood… drop by drop.

Edward hit me and glared. He always got angry at those thoughts. No wonder. This was only our second year here. It wasn't going out the window that quickly. We were taking advantage of the time away from school to hunt, like we did every time.

Alice had been the only one to stay behind. She and Rosalie had made a small shop of their own in the town, selling women's clothes and shoes… the kind of thing Rosalie and Alice were into.

I envied Alice. She didn't have to go to school – she was home schooled, unlike the rest of my siblings. The cover story was almost the real truth. Alice had wanted to study fashion design, like she had in the other places. However, they did not have that option available at the local school, so she learnt from home. Unfortunately, Esme and Carlisle had been strict about homeschooling. We had to be seen, and apparently it would do us good to make human friends since we were here. I agreed, but Edward knew only too well I was furious about the whole idea of spending 'quality time' with humans.

"Lighten up, Jazz." said Emmett as Edward was driving us back. Carlisle and Esme had ridden in the other car.

"Yes, apparently there are going to be some new additions to town." Rosalie exclaimed dreamily, looking outside the window.

I shot her an annoyed glance.

"They can't be that bad." commented Edward. "Alice said that there was going to be a new girl, too."

"Ohh." Emmett smirked, mischievousness rising in him.

"Maybe you will finally make a friend?" suggested Rosalie.

"Or something more than a friend."

"Emmett." I growled, turning to the window, annoyed.

For some reason Edward was slowing down. The three of us watched him questioningly, but then when I looked back out the window I knew why he was slowing.

Some people were getting out a silver car. The male and older female rushed inside the house where the teenage girl stood outside, staring at it. Even from here, I could tell what she was feeling. Worry, annoyance, sadness. It was strange how I could tell these emotions were all coming from this girl. Usually, I would not be able to tell them apart from each human. She was different… I knew exactly what she was feeling. I didn't know how – I just did. These were defiantly the new comers.

Edward was mischievous when the car sped up once more.

"So what do you think?" he asked.

I sighed. "She's different…" I stopped. "But I am NOT making friends. For the last time!"

"Oh… we'll see, Jasper."

* * *

"Alice…" I asked slowly while she was sitting on the counter in the shop. She was usually excited and happy – but this was to the extreme.

She giggled. "Have you seen the new girl yet?"

I waited for her to continue.

"She came to the shop today." Alice swung her legs back and forth. "Horrible fashion sense but there you go…" She giggled.

"You saw something didn't you?"

"I did." She paused, smiling smugly. "But I'm not going to tell."

"Edward will tell me." I knew Edward would find out somehow. Alice couldn't block her thoughts forever.

"Nope!" she pretended to zip her lips with her finger, still swinging her legs playfully.

"Alice." I said sternly. "Please tell me what you saw."

She shook her head, hopping off the counter. Why was my family being so annoying today?

* * *

 

**Tania**

The next morning, the grey cloud was still hovering over us. It had rained a little during the night, but it would only let out short bursts of showers, as if it was still deciding if it wanted to soak the city or not. Wet summers were my favourite type of summer, and the only we had ever got.

My friends had spoken to me briefly the previous evening. I told them about what it was like here and they complained about school, and that I was so lucky getting an extended summer. I complained about having no one to talk to, to try and make them feel better, but it backfired and instead I got told to get up off my sorry ass and make some friends with people in town.

I decided to go into town again, since I had some more money saved at home, and my wardrobe wasn't nearly as big as I wanted it to be yet.

"Hello again." said Alice who was sitting on the desk reading a magazine. She hopped off it, placing the magazine down.

"Hi." I replied, smiling sheepishly.

"I had a feeling you would be back." She smiled widely, pulling me over to some section.

"So… you must have just moved here." Of course, since I came here for the second day in a row.

"Yeah." I said shortly.

"Thought so. People have been talking about it."

I watched her nervously while she was going through a rack of tops.

"Met anyone yet?"

"Only you."

"We can be friends if you want."

"Yay!" I cried excitedly.

Alice turned to me in awe at my sudden outburst.

"I mean…" I laughed nervously.

She laughed too, but with more humour. Her laugh was golden… sweeter than syrup. "It's cool. I 'yay' a lot too. 'Yay'-ing is good."

"Isn't it just?" I giggled.

"So what's your name?" asked Alice. "You never said. And you know mine. That's not fair."

"I'm Tania. With an 'I'."

"That's pretty." She smiled.

It was amazing how much Alice and I had in common. We were both interested in the same kind of music and I remembered to listen to some of the music she spoke about, later online. It was nice to have a friend in this place. But Alice was homeschooled. I wasn't sure if she would count, since I would go to school with no one I knew. I counted her anyway. One. That was a large number, I thought sarcastically. But in two days, it wasn't bad.

"I suppose you will be coming back tomorrow?" asked Alice when it got late. I couldn't believe I had been hanging around all afternoon. It was actually getting a little dark.

Summer started tomorrow. I didn't want to get caught up in the crowd. "I don't think so." I replied sadly.

"Well we can just chat online and maybe arrange something?"

I shrugged. "Ok, why not?"

"Cool, see you later then."

I waved goodbye, and began walking down the road. It was quite quiet now. It was very late so not many people were out and around. I walked down the street, hurriedly wanting to get home. I hated being in the dark by myself.

And then out of nowhere, I was pushed back against a wall on the side of a house. Shocked, I gasped, looking up at whoever had pushed me back. The only three words running through my mind was 'run or die'.


	3. Lust and Fear

**Tania**

My hazel eyes met amber. They were the eyes of what I knew would be my killer, but I was somehow drawn to them. I knew I had to run, to will my feet to take me away from this man – I was sure it was a man, however unusual the eye colour was.  _They were still human_. Blonde strands of hair fell just above the bright eyes. Thanks to them, I wasn't lost in his eyes.

My head throbbed and I felt my heart beat speed up in fear. He had me pinned against the wall now. I couldn't move an inch. I could feel his hands pushing my shoulders back, paining me.

I had always had those nightmares every now and then, where something is happening and even though you want to scream and scream so badly, you open your mouth and no sound can break free. No one comes running.

I couldn't scream then. It was like all the breath had been taken from my lungs.

Suddenly, the hands were removed from my shoulders. I blinked, breathing heavily, sliding down to the uneven pavement. As fast as he'd come, he had gone. I tried to catch my breath back, looking around the street franticly for any sign of the man. But he was nowhere.

The vulnerability crept around me. I was alone in the dark. And worse – I didn't know if that man would be lurking around. Was he going to follow me home? Was he hiding, waiting till we got somewhere more deserted? I pulled my arms around me in my usual comforting position – right hand to left shoulder, and left hand to right waist. At that moment, I wanted nothing more than to be safe.

"Hey, are you alright?" asked a soft velvet voice above me. My eyes flickered quickly to the feet on my left side and I snapped my gaze upwards at the stranger.

I had to assure myself this was a different person – his hair was copper-brown. But his eyes… they were so similar to the other man's.

"M' fine." I muttered, still a little breathless.

He watched me curiously on the hard ground, and then slowly held out a hand intending to help me up. I took it, surprised at the coolness of his skin, but didn't question it.

"Thanks." I said in the same small tone.

"You shouldn't be out this late." He commented.

I looked up and down the street, trying to see if the man was still around if I had missed him. I saw nothing.

"You didn't see anyone on your way here did you?" I asked, ignoring his comment.

"No. Why do you ask?" He seemed to calm compared to my frantic, anxious movements.

"There was…" I began slowly. "…someone…" I shook my head. He wouldn't really care anyway.

"Are you the newcomers?" he asked out of the blue.

I turned back to him with a confused expression on my face. "I suppose so."

"Yes." He nodded slightly. "Alice is my sister. She was talking about you."

"She was?" I asked surprised, but even more surprised he was Alice's brother. She had spoken of her siblings, but I didn't realise who this was.

"Tania, isn't it?"

I nodded.

"I'm Edward."

"Oh… ok." I gave him a smile. "Hi."

"Are you sure you're ok?" Edward asked seriously.

"Yeah it was just…" I trailed off. "It was nothing."

The vulnerability set in again. I would have to leave, and walk home by myself. "Well, goodbye." I turned and began to walk. My feet wouldn't move as fast as they should be. Did I want to get caught by that man again? I gritted my teeth together, telling my mind to shut up, asking it if it wanted me to start running or hyperventilating.

I heard footsteps behind me. "Hey!" I heard Edward call, and I let out a small sigh of relief, glad to be in his company – even if it was just for a few more seconds. "I'll walk you home."

"You don't have to." I mentally hit myself a few times. "Shouldn't  _you_  be getting home." What if that man got  _him_?

"My parents wouldn't be happy if I did go home."

I gave him a questioning look.

"They have bought me up to do things like this."

"I see…" I nodded slowly. "Well it would be nice to have company."

As Edward walked me home, he attempted at getting me to converse, but they ended quickly so most of the time it was silence. I was glad I only lived a few roads away.

He stood by the front of the house for a few moments and I waved slightly as I got inside the door. Maybe this would be friend number two?

* * *

 

**Jasper**

The next day started out much the same as any other. The people who had been lucky enough to escape their daily routine, fill the streets bathing in the hot sun. Regular dog walkers, children... just regular humans.

As I watched them, trying to work out how Carlisle thought they were fascinating in the slightest, the girl appeared at the end of the street. It was the same one from yesterday – the new comer.

I wanted to turn away from the window. She was another stupid human. It didn't matter to me at all. Humans... I thought, idiotic creatures. There was a reason I hated them. It wasn't just because of their stupidity – it was how much I wanted to drink their blood.

Forcing myself not to want to drink their blood was probably one of the most difficult things that faced me. The only thing now that kept me away from the human blood was that my family could do it. They were strong enough, so I should be.

And when this girl was going to go to the local school (Alice had foreseen she was coming), she would be another human – torturing me in ways that obviously wouldn't be done with less than seven hundred and fifty one humans. No, apparently there needed to be seven hundred and fifty two to satisfy whoever wanted me to fail.

The human girl on the street outside, walking along casually listening to Paramore, was probably oblivious to the fact she had already gained someone who hated her. If it weren't for the blood lust, it wouldn't have happened. But it had, and I hated her for smelling so damn good.

_And I was more than certain she would taste far better._

The girl finally made it with her slow human pace to the end of the road, where she turned the corner. All the dark thoughts seemed to vanish the moment I could no longer see her.

I hadn't wanted to think that way about her. Before you kill somebody, you have to hate them. You cannot kill someone without any hate! Murder was an act of extreme dislike. How would I supposed to be able to drink her blood if I even got close to the line of like?

It was partly the reason I refused to stay away from the humans. I would not get myself so close to one, only for that relationship to be gone in a few seconds. If the human got so much as a paper cut or a scratch, or bit their lip accidently – perhaps getting their braces caught, it would be over in less than a few seconds.

Humans and vampires were not meant to be friends. Humans are supposed to be our food. You don't see many humans taking with theirs – and even if they did it would be cruel. It would be like reassurance before the kill. It would be like telling a human you weren't going to kill them before you drunk their blood.

I turned away from the window in disgust. I needed to hunt.

* * *

When the sun finally set on the summer's day, which took a lot longer than I had desired (thanks to the summer's day), I walked down the street in the direction of the forest, not bothering to drive there.

I liked the night. Not only was it much better than the day, but in the dark we didn't have to worry about seeing any humans or accidently stepping somewhere we would be shown. We didn't have to hide in the night.

I hadn't even made it down two roads when I saw her - the stupid human girl. I filled with rage. She was so oblivious... so stupid. I wanted to tell her so badly how idiotic she really was. Why couldn't she have gone any faster?

Everything happened too fast, I hadn't had any time to stop and try to contain myself.

I was pinning her against the wall. The girl looked up at me with wide hazel eyes – her fear was dragging me in and her scared expression only gave me want to kill her more.

She wouldn't move in shock. I wanted her to move, and run away. I would have yelled at her to do it, but I daren't take a breath to speak in case more of her wonderful scent came my way.

I tried to control my anger, but my hands on her shoulders against the wall were so hard I feared I would hurt her before she had a chance to run. Damn it, I was stopping her from running. The human was so terrified now... I was sure she was frozen with fear, too scared to scream – or even breathe.

Just as I thought all hope was lost, I felt someone grab me from behind. I tried to struggle, even though I wanted to be taken away from the girl.

"Stop it." hissed Edward angrily, pulling me backwards. "Or you're going to hurt her."

Eventually he managed to drag me away from her to where her scent wasn't as strong and we ran quickly to the forest.

"Don't worry." muttered Edward. "She only saw your eyes."

Edward left. I knew he was only angry because I might have caused us to move again. Most of my siblings hated having to move. It wasn't just moving somewhere near – it was a completely different place, where we would get settled once more. Mostly we moved because humans did notice how we didn't age at all. It angered me that we made it so obvious for them – yet they didn't even notice.

Our eyes gave it away the most. Edward had gone, to see if she was alright. She had only seen my eyes – maybe she would think it was Edward? The girl would have a million explanations running through her head. Maybe I didn't feel sorry for her at all; maybe it was just Edward having to listen to her fear, of his brother.


	4. Restless

**Tania**

As soon as I got inside the house, I tore up the stairs. My mother and her husband, who were asleep in an embrace on the couch stiffened slightly as they woke. Neither of them got up, however, simply going back into their peaceful doze. I was glad I wouldn't have to explain to them why I was out so late.

I rushed into the bathroom, locking the door securely behind me and stripped off my top. My shoulders were worse than I had thought. There were hand shaped dark red marks into them, and I made out a line horizontally across my back between them.

The shower wouldn't get hot fast enough. Cold water splashed down onto my lower arms and my vision blurred with tears.

"Come on!" I cried, wanting to get any stench I had of that man as far away from me as possible. However much delightful he had smelt, I had to get it away. It wasn't  _good_.

Stepping into the shower I scrubbed the skin on my shoulders. Even though he had not touched it, I had felt his hands on my shoulders. The coldness of his skin had seeped through like rain.

Only after I was certain it was all gone, I sighed, closing my eyes for a minute.

What had made him go away so fast? Not that I wasn't pleased he did – I had been so sure he would do something – kill me, beat me... rape me.

My eyes snapped open and I glanced around behind the shower curtain. The paranoia was setting in. He was still around. He had gone from the street – but he had not gone from the town. That man would still be roaming around out there in the dark.

I shivered, pulling back the curtain. I would see every part of whatever room I was in. If he was here, at least I would have a small warning. No surprises.

It made me feel so stupid. He wouldn't be in here – how would he get in? The bathroom door was locked, and so was the window. The front door was locked. My mother was downstairs with her husband. That man would never be able to get in without someone hearing him.

I wrapped the towel around me and picked up my jeans and shirt, making sure my skin didn't come in contact with the shirt. I threw the clothing into the wash basket and retreated to my room.

My window was wide open and so were my curtains. I gasped, running towards the window and shutting them both. Breathing heavily as if I had just ran a long distance; I put on my computer, turning up the volume of the music. It made me feel like I was with lots of people when I had it loud.

Once I had got into my nightwear, I retrieved some food, and a lot of drinks from the kitchen. Most of the drinks were cokes and things that would keep me awake. I wasn't intending to sleep that night.

I told my friends on instant messenger what had happened on my way home from the town. They didn't take it too well.

"See," one of my friends typed. "It's not good for you – city life. This is what happens."

I looked at the screen solemnly. "Thanks for the reassurance." I typed back. "Now I'm defiantly going out the house again..."

"Sorry." She sent me a sad smiley icon. "I just really miss you."

"At least, he didn't kill me or anything. Then you would miss me more."

"God... Are you sure you're ok? You can come stay round for a night. Please?"

I smiled at her offer. "I don't know. I don't think I'll be allowed – we're still adjusting to the new house."

She sent me another sad smiley. "Please?" she sent again.

"I'll ask tomorrow, ok? You mean next weekend?"

My friend seemed happier at that. "Yeah! And we can stay up all night watching movies..." She started making a long list about all the favourite things we liked doing on sleepovers.

When it was midnight, I wasn't even tired. Alice came online.

"Hey!" she sent me. "The hours of sleep before midnight are most important!"

I rolled my eyes. "Have you been reading my mum's mind or something?" I typed, sending a smiley which was also rolling its eyes.

She sent an amused smiley icon.

"I can't sleep." I sent. "Something happened when I was walking home..." I was no good at keeping things to myself at all. I didn't get a choice if I was going to tell Alice or not. She was my friend now... she would find out anyway when I wouldn't come out with her.

"What happened?" She typed at what seemed super speed. She must be able to touch type. "Edward said he saw you on the street – he said you seemed upset."

I bit my lip. I didn't know I had looked that bad.

"Are you ok?" she sent.

"There was this guy..." I started. "He had the same eyes as you and Edward. And he... it was like he came from nowhere. And he pressed me against the wall bruising my shoulders. But he just went. I don't understand... I looked around the street, but he wasn't anywhere. He just disappeared. And I didn't imagine him – imaginations are real like that."

"I know. Are you ok?" asked Alice, seeming concerned. "Maybe he just thought you were someone else?"

"Then I feel _really_ sorry for whoever he thought I was. It was like he didn't know his own strength. And he was so fast."

I hadn't noticed I was crying until I heard some tears fall onto the keyboard. Leaning back slightly on the chair, more tears trickled down my face smoothly and silently.

My vision blurred. It wasn't the tears though; it was the tiredness setting in. I had pulled off all nighters before, however they hadn't been as emotional as this night had been.

Opening another coke, I drunk quickly, as if I was thirsty. The bubbles hurt my throat a little, but I was too tired to care. But even after I had finished the can, I was still tired – if not more than before I had drunk any.

Sighing, I dropped the can in the bin next to my desk, deciding to go to bed. I glanced back on the instant messaging screen seeing that Alice had sent me some more messages. I ignored them.

"I'm fine. I gotta go. See you later." I sent her before turning it off, not awaiting a reply from her.

I put the music on my iPod instead of the computer and buried myself in bed covers, not letting any of myself be exposed to the darkness around me.

I could hear a lot more in this new place, outside. The tree outside my window beat against the side of the house and the wind blew around it. I shivered, snuggling down more deep into the bed.

Somehow, I fell asleep easier than I thought. I blamed it on my emotions, but I didn't see it as a bad thing. I had wanted to have a dreamless sleep that night. In some ways, it felt like there was someone watching over me... or just watching in the darkness. Waiting...

* * *

 

**Jasper**

I hunted for a lot longer than I would have that evening. Even though I had only hunted two days before, I needed to hunt more in this area. There were too many humans around – and a few more didn't make it any easier than it already was.

Guilt had burned though me like fire ever since the incident that had happened a few hours ago. None of my family had come to find me, but I was glad. They didn't need to be weighed down with my burdens. If I couldn't keep my thirst under control, it was my problem. They didn't need to worry themselves.

My mobile buzzed in my pocket. Edward's name flashed on the screen.

"Edward." I said shortly, the shame slipping through my voice.

"The girl's alright." He informed me. "A bit shaken, but she's hanging in there."

"Good." I was glad she was ok. It was one thing I attacked her. If she was hurt, everything would have been much worse.

"Alice is speaking to her online." Edward went on. "She doesn't understand why she was attacked and then you just disappeared. She noticed your eyes are the same as Alice and me. And apparently you bruised her shoulders."

I sucked in a breath. I  _had_  hurt her. I had tried so hard to stop myself attacking her, but I had just gone and hurt her anyway. I was so ashamed of myself.

"I'm going to see her again." I decided out loud.

"But-," started Edward, probably worried I was going to do the same again.

"No." I cut in defiantly. "I hurt her tonight. The least I can do is make sure she sleeps soundly tonight. If she gets nightmares... or..." I trailed off. "I want to make sure she's ok. And that's all."

"Do you want me to be around the house just to be sure?" he offered uncertainly.

"It'll be fine, Edward. I just ate."

"Ok." Edward hung up. Though he still didn't sound convinced he accepted it anyway.

I remembered where her house was. Being a vampire meant you couldn't forget – though it wasn't a perk all the time. There were some things I would have liked to forget.

It didn't take two minutes to get to her house. I wasn't sure where her room was, but I suspected it was round the back of the house since her parents were in the front. Net curtains were easy to see past, though real ones were not.

I perched on the branch of the tree next to the window which must have been hers – the light was on and shinning through. However, there was not a single crack where the two pieces of material overlapped, or even an open window. However, I heard her through the thin glass.

She sniffed and there was the strong smell of salt in the air coming from the house. I could hear her whimpering.

At that moment, any guilt still in me flooded my whole body with a wave of despair. I had made the girl cry. She was crying... because of me. For god's sake, couldn't I do anything right?

I jumped from the tree to the damp grass below, landing softly on my feet, and swiftly I wondered round the house till I found an open window in the bathroom on the second floor.

When I was inside, her crying was louder. A human from the landing wouldn't hear her, but she was loud enough for vampire hearing. I peered through the crack between the door and the door frame. Her fear overtook me once I was this close to her.

I watched her as she drained a whole can of coke which had to have been in an effort to stay awake. I had made her too scared to even sleep?

What made it worse was that this wasn't the first human I had done this to. I had attacked many humans, some had gotten away, others weren't so lucky. However, this was the first human I had made sure was alright. Maybe it was something about her that had made me come here? Not just the fact she was hurt... something more had made me want to come here and make sure she was alright.

I used my power on her, and she seemed to get more and more drowsy. I could take away her fear – so I did. It was the least I could do. She typed something back to Alice, who had sent her numerous "are you ok?" messages. If the situation wasn't so serious I would have laughed at her stubbornness.

Swaying on her feet slightly, she switched of the light and dived under the bed covers. I seized the chance to enter her room.

The carpet and wallpaper were still visible in the dark. I could tell they were supposed to be a lighter musty brown. Obviously her room hadn't been decorated yet. Not much of the house was very new looking or modern. Her room was very tidy. There were some boxes full of old school books and folders in a corner. Some text books told me she had done GCSEs which surprised me. She looked younger than sixteen or seventeen.

I looked away irritably. Why was I prying around in this girl's room? It wasn't like I was going to talk to her or anything like that. Maybe Alice and Edward had spoken to her, but I had nothing to do with this girl. Maybe she was going to the same school next year – it didn't mean anything because we would probably do different subjects entirely.

She turned over restlessly. I could hear the sound of the tree hitting the side of the house and I knew she could hear it, even with her music on. Maybe that was what was keeping her awake?

I slowly used my power some more, and gradually her tension eased and her breathing evened. I reached carefully for her iPod on her bedside table and turned down the volume slightly.

She was going to sleep well tonight. I would make sure of that.


	5. Ruse

**Tania**

"Do you remember what he looked like? Anything that stood out?" The police officer asked me.

I wanted to make sure there were some people going after him, so I had come to the police station in the morning.

"It was so dark." I replied slowly trying to recall any detail, but they had all slipped through my mind in the fear. "I only remember his eyes. They were really dark amber."

To my surprise the woman laughed. Her eyes shaped into half moons, and she laughed a high pitched laugh. "The only people around her with those eyes are the Cullens!" she cried shrilly, but her face quickly changed into seriousness. "I know that family very well – they would never do something as bad as this."

My brow furrowed in frustration and confusion. "But I know what colour eyes they had... I saw them-,"

"You know what." She cut into my feeble attempts to explain myself. "I think you're having us on."

"What do you mean?" I asked desperately. "I know what I saw and that was what I saw!" I stood up. "I'm telling the truth!"

"I don't think you are, kid." She started pushing me through the door. "Come on, I'm going to escort you home."

"Fine." I grumbled.

"Oh that's exactly what you're going to have to pay." she raised her eyebrows and smirked.

I gaped. "What?" I gasped. "I was telling the truth."

"I'm sure you were, Honey." she replied sarcastically using a sickly sweet, patronising tone. "God I hate dealing with trouble makers like you."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. The police officer pushed me into the backseat of a police car and started driving. I folded my arms and glared out the window. I felt so immature and stupid. Yeah – as if they would believe a stupid whining girl like me.

"The Cullens are a nice family." She called back to me from in the front. "You shouldn't be so hateful towards them."

"Actually I like the Cullens." I replied, still glaring out the window. "Edward and Alice are really friendly."

I glanced at her and saw her rolling her eyes in the mirror and I shook my head in disbelief.

"I'm sorry for your kid, Mrs." The woman said to my shocked mother at the door.

"I'm sorry for the trouble." She shot a glare at me as paid the fine.

"Apologise." My mother hissed to me.

"I didn't do anything wrong." I muttered angrily.

"Yes you did, now don't embarrass me already."

"Oh yeah, you'd rather do that yourself."

The woman in the doorway watched us with an amused expression. "Well, good day." And she left us to out bickering.

"For goodness sake." I folded my arms and took off upstairs.

If someone else got attacked it was their problem. I was too angry to care anymore.

At the same time I didn't want to think like that. I had been refused, simply because the god-like Cullens were so perfect and pure. I tried to figure out how the idiotic woman would turn me away simply because of the only people it could be.

But amber eyes were very hard to come by...

I mentally slapped myself. It was all her fault. She should have listened to me. They might have caught whoever it was if they did. Now someone else might get attacked. That someone else was NOT going to be me. I was not going to let someone do that again to me, ever.

* * *

Over the next couple of days I kept to myself... well, more than usual. Alice asked me a couple of times to come out with her to the cinema or wherever I wanted to go. But I refused to leave the comfort of my room. I knew I would have to leave eventually, but for now I feared leaving to go outside.

It wasn't just that guy hanging around. Besides, he might leave if I gave him time. Who was I kidding? He might live around here... I only just moved here. It wasn't like I had been here for ages and one night he turns up.

The longer I stayed in my room, the more and more I spent on my computer, online. My mother threatened to take the internet out for the first time in three months. She didn't want me repeating myself.

The last year had been the darkest year of my life so far. I had the internet to thank for it. I had needed an escape... and the internet had been there to take away the stress. Of course, it didn't really work out like that in reality.

I turned off the switch to my computer on the wall. I was not going to do that again. This was a new town – a new start. I could be whoever I wanted to be. I wouldn't stay the dark, miserable, depressed teen I had been before. This was new. I was new. Why wasn't I taking advantage already?

My mobile tone went off and I saw I had a new text from Alice.

"Cinema in town – meet you there?" I smiled. What was she, physic?

"Ten minutes?" I replied as fast as I could.

Less than thirty seconds later I had a reply. She hadn't said anything – only an icon of a smiley face. I took that as a yes.

Somehow, I made it into the outside and walked down a couple of roads in the direction of the town. However I took the long route to avoid the street I had been in the other night.

"Hey!" cried Alice, who looked as pretty as ever. "How are you?"

"I reported him." I grumbled. "But they didn't believe me, Alice, they said I was lying."

"Aww, it's ok." She hugged me. She was cold, despite the heat. Edward had been cold too... and so had...

I shivered.

"Sorry." She smiled sadly. "Bad circulation."

I smiled back, not really knowing what to reply with. "So what movie do you want to see?"

* * *

 

**Jasper**

Over the next few days I was suspended in guilty consciousness and shame. I kept hurting humans and I hated it. I didn't understand how the rest of my family could stand it. How could they control themselves? How could they put up with my faults?

Why couldn't I be good? I only wanted to be good – was it too much to ask? My family was good... they were so good to me, to the humans, to everyone. I wanted to be like them.

 _But you're not_ , my mind told me once more.  _You're not like them. They're so strong. And you're so week. It was one or the other, at least._

"Jasper?" I heard Carlisle, my adoptive father, from the doorway.

I looked up, wordlessly.

"Can I come in?" he asked. Carlisle was always polite.  _Maybe it was because he was good_ , my mind said sarcastically.

I nodded. "Sure."

He sat down next to me on the bed. I knew he was probably going to want me to talk about crap. This is what usually happened – I would get so worked up on everything that it made me want to rip everything apart, so naturally Edward would go say something to Carlisle and he would try and talk to me.

_God, I hated "father-son" talks._

"I'm sorry about the girl." He started, I knew he was being cautious, but he was treading dangerous waters.

"Why are you sorry?" I asked, knowing my temper was going to start rising. I held it down. I didn't want to loose it again.

Carlisle hesitated. I could feel his anxiety and concern. "I take it Alice didn't tell you about the vision yet, then?" he finally said after what felt like minutes.

Minutes were a long time for a vampire. To a human they could fly past. If only it were that easy.

"She's been very secretive about it. Only Edward knows."

"It's got something to do with the... girl." I had almost called her something I knew Carlisle would not be happy about.

"Apparently so."

Another silence. I wished Carlisle would just say it. I was becoming impatient and the silence made it awkward. Alice's vision wasn't the reason he had come in here. We both knew it.

"So why were you sorry? About the... girl." I almost slipped up again, though I didn't understand how I could make the same mistake twice. I knew I had hated her, but I didn't realise it was this much.

"I've the one who's put you through this. I am truly sorry for all of it, Jasper."

Another good thing about this gift – you could tell when someone was sorry and when they weren't. Carlisle was defiantly sorry.

"You didn't do it. I did this to myself. I need to learn, Carlisle. You didn't do anything wrong. In fact all you've done it good." He was the good one... I was the bad one.

"Thank you, but you do not have to push yourself so hard. You are still trying – it isn't as though you've given up or not tried at all." He smiled encouragingly.

I nodded in a short response.

"Oh and could you find Alice? She's run off into town with one of her friends."

I shrugged and started toward the door, wondering if anything was going to improve soon, contemplating over what Carlisle had just said.

* * *

"That was... interesting." I heard a group of girls giggling loudly at a bus shelter nearby. I tried to drown out their laughing but it was harder when you had super vampire hearing...

"Tristan was sooo fit!" One of them cried, before giggling again.

"Haha that Jasper guy from school is way better." Another girl whispered before taking an obvious look at me. I looked away rolling my eyes mentally as they giggled again.

"Come on now, it was a good movie!" Finally I heard Alice from inside the cinema entrance. I folded my arms, waiting for her to come out.

"I prefer something a little less... teenage."

I froze. My eyes darted towards the front doors to the cinema. A human I knew only too well stepped out.


	6. Dangerous Waters

**Jasper**

For a moment we all stood in silence. The girl was confused and awkward. By her expression, she looked like she felt odd – out of place. Her eyes darted to the giggling girls in the bus station and she was embarrassed. Did she think they were laughing at her?

"Jasper?" Alice looked up. I was taller than the two of them, though the human girl was about the same height as Alice.

"Carlisle asked me to come pick you up." I said shortly. My tone was dull, almost bored.

Alice smiled patiently. My impatience grew. "Tania." She said turning to the constantly fidgety girl, who kept swapping which leg to lean on. "This is my other brother, Jasper."

Tania smiled shyly, but tried to avoid my gaze. A hint of fear leapt through her, as well as a lot of excitement.

"How many siblings do you have?" she asked Alice, shifting again uncomfortably, not daring to look at me.

"Well there's Edward, Jasper and my other brother Emmett. I also have a sister – Rosalie. She's the Ro."

Tania nodded. She was curious. I watched her coldly.

"Sorry." She apologised, tilting her head slightly. "It's just you look familiar..."

Alice saw where we were heading and quickly cut into the 'conversation'. "So what did Carlisle want?"

"I'm not sure, I didn't ask." I said truthfully, taking my eyes of the human.

"Well see you around, Tania." Alice said happily, beginning to walk down the street along side me.

We walked a little way in silence. There were still many humans around and I didn't like the breathe in their presence.

"That wasn't very friendly, Jazz." Alice pointed out after we were in an empty street. "It was plain obvious she was uncomfortable – even if you power doesn't work on her or anything."

"It does." I replied flatly. "And you know I don't like being around humans, Alice. It wasn't just her. I would be like that with anyone."

"Yeah, yeah." Alice sighed in disbelief. "She doesn't remember you, you know. It was nearly a week ago! I'm sure it's safe for you to say hello..."

"Are you mad Alice!?" I growled. "She recognised me. She said 'you look familiar..."

"I know what she said." Alice said irritably. "But she wouldn't have – I do see the future. And it was fine when I looked just now there was nothing in the future about her realising it was you. Listen to me, you're safe."

I didn't say anything. But Alice knew I agreed with her.

"Besides." She continued. "She tried to report you already."

"What!?" I yelled.

"It's ok!" She said calmly. "They didn't believe her. It was the eyes – they knew it would only be a Cullen who would have golden eyes and they know we wouldn't do something like that..."

"Shit. Alice..." I muttered. I hoped she wouldn't say something like that again.

Alice simply giggled and walked ahead. I trailed along behind.

* * *

"Alice, please enlighten us." Carlisle said once we had all entered the dinning slash conference room. We didn't eat, so we used the dinning room as a family meeting room. Well... we had to use it for something, otherwise it would just sit there.

Alice smiled to herself. She sat opposite Carlisle at the other end of the table. Esme and Edward sat on either side of Carlisle and Rosalie sat next to Esme with Emmett between Alice and Rosalie. The seat I would usually occupy next to Alice was empty as I stood at the back of the room which wasn't too far from the table. I was too anxious to sit (It was unnecessary anyway).

"What have you seen?" Carlisle asked calmly.

I raised my head slightly from looking at the floor to my family at the table.

A small giggle erupted from Alice. "Jasper can't know about it."

"What do you mean?" asked Edward suddenly. "Alice, Jasper has more right than any of us."

"But it would spoil everything." She whined. "Please Edward."

"I'm right here..." I decided to say something. I hated them talking about me like I wasn't even there.

Alice sighed. "Edward, you understand, don't you?"

"Of course I do, Alice. But I still don't understand. It could never happen."

"Then why have I seen it?"

Carlisle cleared his throat unnecessarily.

"Alice?" asked Esme, worriedly.

"It's got something to do with this new girl, hasn't it?" said Rosalie.

Emmett nodded in agreement, but I could tell he was still thoroughly confused. We all were.

"Alright..." Alice sighed in defeat. "I'll tell you."

We all were in complete silence, suspended on her words that were going to spill out any second then.

"Next month." She finally said.

My hand curled into a fist and groaning replaced the silence now. Irritation swept the space of suspense.

"Come on Alice!" whined Emmett. "We wanna know!"

"I can't tell you." Said Alice, who was also disappointed. "I'm sorry. I want to say it, but if I do I'll ruin it all, and everyone will hate me, especially Jasper."

"I'd hate you more if you didn't tell me." I muttered irritably.

"Jasper." warned Esme.

"Sorry."

Edward sighed and Alice became still for a moment.

"Oh..." said Edward slowly.

"See?"

All faces turned to Edward, questioningly.

"She can't tell." said Edward. "Or Jasper's going to make a run for it. He can't know."

Emmett turned to me. "You heard, Jasper. Bye!" he waved jokingly.

"I don't think any of us should know." Spoke up Carlisle. "Not if Jasper can't know."

"It will be a surprise for the rest of us." Esme smiled warmly.

I sighed in frustration as the room emptied. I didn't want to admit it, but I knew Alice was probably right.

* * *

 

**Tania**

"Alice..." I said slowly as we got out of the room and into the lobby. "That film was just... weird."

"Come on now, it was a good movie." she replied as I tossed the half eaten popcorn into a bin. I had bought one for us to share, but she insisted I eat it, which I couldn't do with that much popcorn.

We walked out into the dismal afternoon weather. It hadn't been very happy weather recently which I didn't really mind. The sun wasn't visible today. It was just clouds.

Standing outside the cinema was a tall, blonde guy who looked about eighteen. Immediately I felt uncomfortable –  _he was staring at me_...

My eyes shifted quickly to the giggling girls standing at the bus stop. I tried to ignore them.

"Jasper?" asked Alice and we stopped walking.  _Oh god..._  I thought,  _she knows him?_

"Carlisle asked me to come pick you up." He replied shortly. However, I could tell through the charming voice he sounded bored. Maybe it was the girls? Probably...

I wondered who Carlisle was. Family? I tried to stop myself from doing that. Observing people was weird. I wished I didn't do it. Why did it matter anyway?

Alice smiled. "Tania, this is my other brother, Jasper." I was taken by surprise. This was her brother?!

I smiled. He seemed so... so perfect. I wanted to say hello, but I couldn't make myself speak to him.

"How many siblings do you have?" I asked Alice, trying not to loose myself.

"Well there's Edward, Jasper and my other brother Emmett. I also have a sister – Rosalie. She's the Ro."

I nodded, wondering if their parents were crazy. Years ago I had asked my mother for a brother or sister like some of my friends had but she complained how bad it would be to have a house full of teenagers. Apparently one was enough.

I looked back up at Jasper but his expression was almost hateful. It was close to a glare so I quickly took my eyes off him. Yet, I wanted to say something to him. I noticed his eyes – they were golden... not the same gold as my attacker. I remember his eyes. They were different. I assured myself this was a different person. Would I be doing this a lot now?

"Sorry." I could finally find my voice. I tilted my head slightly like I did when I was curious. "It's just you look familiar..."

His expression changed as if he was forcing himself not to be angry. I didn't blame his anger – It was almost as if he could tell I was thinking about him when I shouldn't be.

Alice suddenly cut in. So what did Carlisle want?"

"I'm not sure, I didn't ask." Jasper looked away and I could stare at him now without feeling his vicious gaze on me. I loved hearing the sound of his voice. He sounded so mature...

"Well see you around, Tania." Alice bought me out of my day dreaming, but before I could reply she and Jasper were walking down the street. I couldn't help but feel disappointed.

He definitely didn't like me – I didn't even get a goodbye.

* * *

I snuggled down under the warm, light pink covers on the mattress on the floor of my best friend's, Vanessa, room.

She threw a pillow at me over my head and I groaned tiredly. "Come on, Nia, you can't sleep now!"

"I'm tired, Ness." I moaned, moving the pillow off me.

"Yeah but when you go I don't know when you're coming back, and the sleepovers we have will be less and less! We need to spend as much time together as possible."

I opened my eyes and saw her puppy dog expression.

"Fine." I mumbled, sitting up in bed. "But do you know how pissed I'm going to be if you fall asleep in the morning?"

"I won't." she grinned, picking up a packet of sweets of the floor and waving them at me.

I smiled back, taking some more sweets for myself and having a couple of the sugary treats.

"I miss you so much Nia." said Nessa sadly.

"Me too." I replied. "But I'll try and come as often as I can."

Her face fell slightly. "Have you already made friends?"

I nodded, looking just as grave. "I met someone called Alice..." I trailed off as she looked the other way.

"She's not replacing you, Nessa." I reassured her. "I just need to make friends with someone over there don't I?"

Ness sighed. "Nia... when you first told me you were leaving, you said you didn't have a choice. That doesn't mean you need to force yourself to like it."

"Ness, please. I'm trying to make the best of it."

"But you like it, don't you? You like being there."

I couldn't help but laugh sarcastically. "Yes, it's the best place in the world. It's great I fear getting attacked if I go outside. Not to mention the police – yeah they're really something!"

Nessa rolled her eyes. "I can tell you love it there. There's that look you have... when you like something. Come on, I known you since you were three."

I smiled sadly. "It's a bit alien still... but..."

"But?" she asked curiously.

I paused, and a look of delight spread across her face. "Oh my god, Nia!"

I narrowed my eyes slightly in confusion. "You know you said Alice had a big family?"

I nodded slowly.

"Does she have..." Nessa tried to suppress a laugh and giggled. "Brothers?"

She burst out laughing and giggling, hiding under her duvet trying to be quiet from her parents.

I gaped, but shut my mouth, folding my arms, pretending to be irritated. "Ness!" I cried, making her giggle all the more.

"Have you met them yet? What are they like? Ohh, Nia, you have to introduce me! You know none of the guys down here are good looking!"

I shook my head. "No, Nessa."

"Aww, come on, please?" she begged, though the excitement was still showing through her pleading expression.

"I haven't even met them yet."

"I bet they go to your school"

"Alice doesn't." I replied sadly. "But I think she said the others go."

"What are their names?"

"Umm..." I tried to remember their names, but I had never been any good with remembering them. "Emmett... Edward, Rosalie..."

Ness' eyes widened as I started the list. There were a lot of them.

"There's one more... oh yeah – Jasper." Little did Nessa know, I had been trying not to mention him. I was a horrible secret keeper, but there wasn't much point in lying. I shrugged. "He's not very friendly though. Edward's really nice."

Yeah... not very friendly. Understatement of the century.

Nessa giggled again. "Well, come on – tell me about them! Oh I wanna hear about Edward!"


	7. Contemplations

**Tania**

The summer somehow managed to speed up, which was actually the strangest thing that had happened in a long time. There was no reason for the summer to disappear so quickly. It wasn't like I was having the best time of my life.

The Cullens had gone away for the six weeks there was of time off school. Apparently they had gone to somewhere tropical to enjoy the free time they had.

My mother had apparently made a friend too. Unfortunately, they had been taken into hospital after falling down the stairs – she had heard some information about the Cullens. I overheard her talking to her new husband about how all the staff at the hospital were complaining how Dr. Cullen was going to be away for the next month an a half. They wouldn't stop talking about how he was the best surgeon they had.

The Cullens wouldn't stay out of my head. My thoughts were a constant circle of trying to figure them out. It was almost like I was trying to observe people who I could only remember. And as the days went on further and further all I could think about were some people who grew more faceless.

Eventually, I couldn't remember Edward's face, but only Alice and Jasper's. More than once I had tried to remember that man who I had unfortunately come across one the second night I had lived in that house. But the only thing was the eye colour. The dark, deep, amber eyes – they had almost been black. And the strength of how hard he'd pushed me against the wall. Well, the strength wasn't really something amazing. I had always seen myself as a week person...

So my new life in this foreign place had been going... ok so far. It wasn't the perfect start. Since the start of the summer I had been avoiding going out into town. The owners of my new favourite shop were on holiday, so there wasn't really any place I wanted to go.

My friends were all busy with their other friends back in my old home town, so when I had asked them to come up they had said an excuse. It was two hours trip there and back – I didn't blame them.

To make things worse, I had started getting the occasional nightmare. I had thought about the Cullens so much, when I went to sleep I  _dreamt_  about them. As weird as that was, they weren't even good dreams. This confused me greatly. They were good people – so why didn't I have good dreams about them?

In the third week, where the days had all ran into each other and I was lost in the same routine of getting up, reading or whatever I wanted to do, talking to my friends online, eating, and going back to bad at the end of the day (Of course I ate more than once...). It was then I had just sat outside in the shade of the house in the back garden and thought about Jasper.

Jasper... the mysterious one. There was no doubt he was mysterious. Usually I could observe someone for a while and be able to tell a lot about them. But Jasper... he was different. When I had met him that day outside the cinema he had seemed distant – like something was troubling him. Maybe it was being out in the open? Maybe he just didn't like people? Either way, he was completely different from Alice's excited self. I recalled her skipping along side him when they left...

I wanted to know more about this guy – get to know him. The only problem with that was he was thousands of miles away... for three more weeks.

That thought had irritated me. How was I supposed to wait out three more weeks of this? There wasn't much to do around the house... and I defiantly wasn't going to go out where I was in danger of meeting people I didn't want to. All I could do all day was to sit in the garden... read... check my emails... This was torture. _And I hated it_.

There were chores I had to do now, too. Yes – chores. I hadn't got out of the "phoney report" lightly, and I had to housework to try and make up for it. My mother's new husband had been fuming.

"You shouldn't be complaining – this'll do you some good." he said to me while I was polishing the dinning table.

"Why not? Listen to me complain – it'll do  _you_  some good. You can get used to it." I retorted. Housework didn't put me in the best of moods.

"Don't get back at me, Tania. You put yourself into this."

I laughed coldly. "Yes, because I am the type of person to try and wind up the authorities."

"Don't you dare, or you'll be cleaning a lot more than the summer!" David yelled, fuming with anger.

I wasn't scared of him. "I was telling the truth, ok. I would have shown you the bruises but they weren't that bad, alright?!"

"Yes, like you would tell the truth."

I threw the cloth down in disgust. "I don't even know how you can say that. You don't know me!"

My mother entered the room. "What's going on?" she asked sadly.

At her sad expression, I forced myself not to yell at her new husband anymore. I wouldn't make her even more upset. I hated it when she was down.

"Nothing." I muttered, continuing my cleaning. "We were acting out a scene, weren't we?" I looked up at him, hoping he would catch on.

David zoned out for a minute in confusion, and then realised what I was doing. "Yes, yes we were replaying a scene from..." he got stuck and quickly looked at me panic stricken.

"A video." I finished. "Online, we watched this video – and it's hilarious."

My mother didn't seem any more pleased. "Didn't sound it..." she commented.

"Oh, no, it is very funny. You have to watch the video sometime."

My mother nodded, warily. "Alright... sometime."

I let out a sigh of relief. "Close one." I muttered. David rolled his eyes before leaving the room.

* * *

 

**Jasper**

Time passed slowly and steadily, and sure enough everything was perfectly normal... if it could be considered normal.  _Normal to us,_  was a better way to put it. At least, nothing happened which was out of the ordinary.

I had been residing in my room that warm afternoon, though it had actually been peaceful for a short time, the doorbell went. Great – another human had to ruin it.

I listened on the landing and heard the voice of one of the police officers at the station nearby. I remembered her from an accident that had happened around the area last year. She seemed amused as she spoke to Esme.

"So the kid said straight away, when I asked for details, about dark amber eyes. It was ridiculous." She laughed loudly. "Comeplete nonsense – I know none of you would even think of calling names, let alone attack someone!"

Emmett, who had come up next to me on the landing to hear the conversation, burst out into laughter, though trying to keep it as low as possible.

"She... reported... you!" He said in-between fits of laughter and amusement. "The human... reported you!" he cried, struggling to contain his laughter.

I tried to keep a straight face, trying to be irritated about my power causing me to me amused with him. This was a very serious situation – no one should have laughed at it. Not even Emmett.

Emmett laughed even more as the police officer went on to say how amusing it was the girl 'liked' the Cullens and saying about how 'friendly' Alice and Edward were. Somehow that was just as funny as her reporting the incident.

"It wasn't even me, Emmett." I hissed. "She didn't know who I was."

"But now she knows she saw a Cullen." He continued to laugh. "One plus one makes two..."

I shook my head in anger. "I will not speak to her again, Emmett. And you know we'll move before that happens."

"I bet this has something to do with what Alice saw." He smirked.

"How do you find this so amusing?" Rosalie said from the doorway of her and Emmett's room. "Your vampire butts are at stake here."

"Exactly!" I agreed with her. "Emmett, seriously – this isn't funny at all."

"Whatever you say, wanted felon." He patted my shoulder before going back into his and Rosalie's room. Rosalie also went back in. I could still feel Emmett's amusement.

Finally the second week of the summer break made an appearance. This was one of the best times of the year for us. No longer did we have to live around the humans and hide in bright sunlight – this was when we went away for six weeks.

Summer was too bright for vampires, and we couldn't be seen outside the house during this time when there was bright sunlight. So every time summer came around we would go to Alaska or Isle Esme. This year we would be going to Isle Esme.

I loved be able to get out of the house where there were no humans around. It was beautiful that Carlisle had bought an island for Esme. Where everything would be perfect, and they wouldn't have to worry about anything at all...

Staying on Isle Esme almost made me feel... lonely. It was hard to think of something I wouldn't give to have a mate of my own. Carlisle and Esme were together, and so were Rosalie and Emmett. However, even though Alice and Edward weren't together I knew  _too_  well they felt for each other.

That summer, in fact, they got together after this long time. It only made me wish for someone more.

The most horrible thought that went though my mind every time I wished for someone, was that human girl. She kept swimming in my mind. I would not  _ever_ , try to get together with a human. I couldn't even think about how horrible and unfair it would be for them.

And what would I tell them? I couldn't just let out I was a vampire but wanted to be with them, but since I told them that they would either have to die (which was so far out of the question you couldn't even see it) or turn into a vampire (which was equally as far as their death). It was a loss both ways.

I was not going to let that happen to a human, no matter who they were.

It was unsurprisingly harder to get those thoughts out of my mind. However, as soon as there were, all I could think about was the human girl, Tania.

I wondered if she was alright, back in England. I hoped I hadn't caused her any more pain. Knowing that people didn't believe her story about the attack made it even worse. They could have at least believed her story – they didn't have to diminish it because of a petty thing like eye colour. Why did it matter about the eye colour belonging to one of us? It shouldn't have.

Suddenly I realised I was going onto her side... almost as if I wanted to turn myself in for attacking her. It was the right thing to do, wasn't it? At least, it would be if I were human. The vampire part complicated everything.


	8. Welcome to Hell

**Tania**

When I woke up that morning, I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that the day was going to be a mixture of feeling sick and wanting to hide under my bed covers and not come out again.

It was how I felt every day when I went to my old school... however this time it would be even worse. It wouldn't be the same people I went to everyday – the people who I was already accept by. No, these were going to be new people – new  _older_  people.

That day would be one of the most important days of the school year. I had to make a good first impression. It wasn't an option – I had to.

Dread surged through me as I got out of bed, not being able to stand the fear anymore. I spent at least twenty minutes getting ready. There wasn't a uniform so I had carefully picked out what I would wear, last night. It was lucky I had too – that had taken me at least fifteen minutes.

I brushed my hair in the bathroom mirror. It had grown over the summer into a shoulder length, thick, dark blonde, fluffy, mess. I decided to straighten it to make it look more presentable.

"Mum!" I cried in a much higher pitch than usual, rushing around trying to find my iPod. I had long since forgotten I had given myself and hour and a half to get ready for school. "Have you seen my iPod?!"

"Calm down." My mother laughed at the top of the stairs in her dressing gown. "It's in the kitchen."

"Thanks!" I called back, heading towards the kitchen.

Even though I knew I would regret having breakfast later when my nerves got the better of me, I decided I really should have something to eat. There was still half an hour till I would have to get the bus to school.

My thoughts drifted back to my friends at my old school. They would be on the bus already – catching up on everything that happened in the time they were apart. I missed the fun we had on the way home – usually full of loud laughter. I missed them so much.

And I had lost all of that to live here... in a house left by a relative I never even knew. Of course, I would be getting the bus alone.

I couldn't let my mind wander anymore as I left the house. All I could think about was trying to get to the right place at the right time. As I got to the bus stop I was so anxious already I was surprised I wasn't shaking like crazy. I was too nervous even to listen to my music.

I stood there, not daring to look at anybody. I kept my eyes strictly on the corner of the road where the bus should have appeared at any moment. I had the feeling someone was watching me, like I did in most public places, but this time I was certain they were. Since I hadn't been to town during the summer, when everyone was shopping and having fun, no one had seen me before. I wished I had made more appearances.

At long last, the bus came from round the corner and I was glad it did. Students piled onto the bus, flashing their passes. I didn't have a pass, so I made sure I stayed at the back of the cue (which wasn't hard), and paid for my ticket.

The bus journey was short – just like coming up to this new town had been. I sat in the seat awkwardly, wishing I could stay on the bus forever. I didn't want to get off – at least, not at the school.

All too soon, the bus stopped outside of the front of the school and students got off and started towards either inside or hung around by the gates. I looked around, trying to see if I could spot any of the Cullens – I already knew them. They had to come here, right? Even if Alice was homeschooled...

Unable to see any of them, or any faces of the ones I already knew, I took off to the main office to get my timetable.

"Umm... I'm new here – I'm Tania Carter." I managed to say to the woman at the desk without stuttering. That was quite an achievement.

She looked at me with a puzzled expression for a moment, before she realised who I was. "Oh!" she quickly shuffled through her papers and bought out some sheets to give me.

"Here's your timetable, and a map of the school for you. I had been told someone was going to show you around but they haven't come – do you think you can find your way?" She handed me a bunch of papers.

I nodded, taking the papers and glancing at each one.

"Did you get a planner when you came before? Or..."

"Yes." I nodded again. "Thank you."

She smiled at me. "Good luck, dear."

I walked over to one of the chairs in reception and dumped my bag down so I could sort out all the papers I now had. I had a good long look at my timetable, pleased I could take the subjects I had intended to take that year at my old school. They even had ones I weren't allowed to take due to numbers, too.

"Are you sure there aren't any other subjects?" said a familiar voice. I looked up in surprise to see none other than the guy I had met before he went on holiday with his family. It was a Cullen... that I had forgotten the name of... but it was still a Cullen!

"I'm sorry, dear." said the woman at the desk. "I know it's very different to History, but I'm afraid there's nothing else."

"Can't I just have a study period, then?" he asked desperately. I wondered what subject he was being forced to take, but then the woman answered that for me.

"I'm afraid not – it's A-Level Drama and Theatre studies."

He sighed in defeat. "Thanks." He muttered, clearly annoyed that he would have to take drama.

I wondered what he hated about the subject – it was one of my favourites. A sudden jolt of excitement and fear flooded through me. Would he be attending the same lessons as me?

He turned around to see me staring and I quickly realised where I was and looked down, stuffing the papers into my bag. I heard the door swing open and shut, making my mood crumble once more.

* * *

 

**Jasper**

I wasn't in the best of moods that morning. During the summer I had actually had a good time – able to forget about school and being around humans. However, like most things, we had to come back to England and my good mood I had built up, fell. Just like every other time, but this time it was better than before we had left.

Some part of me wanted to come back to school. This would be a lot better than the years before, since we could go home to study, and everything was a lot more relaxed. We didn't even have to stay  _in_  school while lessons weren't going on.

Alice had told me to hunt before we left which was probably a good idea since we hadn't hunted for a few days. Unfortunately, while one part of my mind was enjoying the blood, the other part was still obsessing over the human girl.

It would be her first day at the school that day. I knew she would defiantly be terrified. She seemed the type of girl who would be very nervous about something like this – and I was right.

I could feel her fear before we were even reached the school. I watched her get off the bus, paler than even a vampire. She walked past someone who was holding up a piece of paper, and her face almost melted into the white sheet.

I couldn't help but laugh. I knew my siblings were finding it amusing I wouldn't leave this girl alone, but they were more amused by her pale face and worried expression. Even a human could work out she was terrified.

Rosalie, Emmett, Edward and I, all picked up our timetables from outside the sixth form common room. Of course, Tania wouldn't be around her – she had probably stepped in the school once to try and get a place – or maybe not even that one time.

As I scanned the timetable quickly, I realised there had to be some kind of mistake. One of my options had been replaced with another subject. It was probably just a printing error, so I calmly walked over to reception and check. It had to be a printing error... hadn't it?

"No," said the woman at the desk. "You see when there aren't enough people who want to study one subject it's not available. It looks like history was one of those subjects this year."

At this answer I was disappointed. For someone who found history interesting, it was harder to understand people's boredom and dislike of the subject. The other people must have already seen their timetables and been able to choose a different subject to take. Edward drove fast – but for once I wished he'd driven faster this time.

Drama was not one of my favourite subjects... at all. I would have to contribute and  _act_. I had never been landed with drama before as I had always another mostly theoretical based subject like English, if history wasn't available. I wasn't an outgoing person... I knew I wouldn't go as far as to fail the course, but I wouldn't exactly be one of the best...

"Are you sure there aren't any other subjects?" I asked desperately.

"I'm sorry, dear. I know it's very different to History, but I'm afraid there's nothing else."

"Can't I just have a study period, then?" I wouldn't mind having one less subject.

"I'm afraid not – it's A-Level Drama and Theatre studies." Curses.

I sighed, wishing I had a power to persuade. "Thanks."

I looked up to see the human girl, Tania, behind me staring. She quickly looked down at the pile of papers she had and was pushing them into her bag.

If this were someone else I would defiantly be annoyed with her excitement because this wasn't something good... I suspected she was taking that subject too and was hoping we were in the same group. I hoped the opposite. It was better for her to stay as far away from me as possible. For both of out sakes...

I quickly left the room and went back to the common room where Edward, Rosalie and Emmett were discussing who had each other's lessons.

Luckily I had physics with Rosalie and Math with Emmett and Edward, but in Drama it looked like I was on my own, as well as Philosophy and Ethics.

Leaving for the drama hall, a sunken feeling told me Tania would have this class with me, and I sincerely hoped she didn't. However, as I headed towards the building, the familiar fear surrounded it and I knew she would be in the same class.

I walked in through the door and saw her at the other end of the room sitting in a chair, holding her notebook and a pen, as white as the pages.

" _Welcome to Drama and Theatre studies_ " was written on the board. It might as well have said " _Welcome to Hell_ ".


	9. More Observations

**Tania**

I don't remember my heart rate ever slowing to normal during the whole hour. The seats soon filled, and many people were already chatting to their friends. Of course, I didn't know anyone to catch up with. In fact, there was only one other person in the room who wasn't talking to anyone.

I knew him – his name began with a 'J', but the name had slipped my mind. He was the same person I had seen when I was with Alice weeks ago, and the same person I had seen in the office when I had got there.

It was strange how no one was talking to him. Maybe his friends were in other classes? There was no time to ponder over it though, as the class started.

The teacher came out and introduced himself as Mr Gates, and then the limelight was already shined onto me.

"So we have a new student to the school,"

I felt all eyes on me. I wondered if they could hear my heart hammering. And then out of the corner of my eye I saw a pair of amber eyes, almost burning me. If I had felt awkward before, it was nothing to the embarrassment I was feeling now.

When I didn't say anything he continued. "Maybe you could introduce yourself?"

"Um... I'm Tania." I felt my face grow hot, and I was certain I was red. Mortified, I bit my lip.

"My, my, we've never had a shy one before!" He joked. "I thought this subject would be more for outgoing students."

"Actually, I got an A Star in my GCSE." I had to say it. It seemed a bit biased for him to say something like that! Sure I was shy, but I could still do it. My old drama teacher had thought I was pretty good at acting.

Mr Gates smiled. "Ahh, so there is a fire in there after all."

I smiled slightly to myself, although the people around the room didn't take their eyes off me. When he started explaining about what was expected of us by next year, many people started taking notes, drawing their eyes away from me. However, the familiar burn was still there, and when I looked out the corner of my eye, the golden ones were still staring at me.

After the run through of the two year course, we all moved the chairs and sat in a circle and said all our names and something interesting about ourselves. It took a lot longer than in should have as a lot of people had no idea what they were going to say and lingered. I was happy when the people before me took their time. Finally after about ten minutes or so, the person spoke who I had been waiting for.

"Jasper and I'm vegetarian." I had only heard his voice twice before, but it still sounded so heavenly, so wonderful, it was hard to forget. The incomplete sentence echoed in my head a thousand times. Whatever the next person or few people said after him was lost in my memory. I could no longer think clearly.

I stared at him, trying to take in the immense amount of overwhelming beauty. He was  _perfect_  – in every way possible. It was like I was looking at him for the first time.

Jasper looked up at me as I stared. Embarrassed I looked away, though I was very reluctant to.

I didn't understand how I could have forgotten his name. I repeated the way he had said it, a thousand times more. I vowed never to let it slip. It was so perfect...

Mr Gates handed out a few sheets with passages from a couple of plays we could choose from for the performance we would need to give in a couple of months. There was a few other groups in my Drama class had done at my old school for the coursework. Unfortunately, I was chosen to read the lines of one of the characters in one of the passages.

After another dose of embarrassment, we were told to get into groups depending on what play we wanted to do. Each corner of the room was allocated one. Immediately people stood up and joined a group. The one I wanted to be in was full so I looked around the room nervously.

A group on the far side of the room waved at me, so I walked over to join them. There were five in the group already - three guys and two girls. They seemed friendly enough. Once I got over to them, they were all considerably taller than me.

"That's it." said the brunette girl. "We don't need any more."

She was holding a script, and seemed to have taken charge of the group, allocating characters to people. I landed with a girl called 'Stacey'.

"Don't worry about her, she's pretty easy to get round if you don't want to be  _Stacey_." The blonde girl, who I think I recalled as Amber, muttered to me, earning herself a playful slap on the arm from the brunette, who I couldn't remember the name of.

"So we don't get to choose who we want to be now?" said one of the guys, annoyed.

As they argued, I looked around at the people I would be working with. They seemed alright. But as my eyes want over each person, they stopped on one of the guys in the far corner. He was leaning back on the wall with his arms folded. Jasper was staring at me again.

I found it very creepy that I actually liked the fact he was staring at me. It made him seem even more so, mysterious. But this wasn't good... at all. He was in the same group as me... in the same performance... We would be seeing each other so often – after school, at break, running through lines... I looked away, quickly, terrified. I couldn't see him so often. Even though I really wanted to – I just couldn't be in his presence so much. I didn't feel good enough for him – like I would be getting in the way.

When I had first seen Jasper, I had felt like he hated me.  _He should_. So that meant, I should be as far away from him as possible. My subconscious mind was telling me I should stay away from him, and this was doing the exact opposite.

I knew I had to get out of this group and go into a different one, but I couldn't think of a reasonable excuse. I hadn't been with anyone enough for them to hate me. Besides, I didn't even know if Jasper didn't like me. Maybe he had just been having a bad day when I had seen him at the cinema? That would explain why he hadn't been friendly to me. Maybe he was just as shy as me and that was why he wasn't being as welcoming as the rest of the group?

And still, his eyes burned me. And still, I was apart of that group. When I left the first nightmare, nowhere near ready to walk into the next, I couldn't help feeling that the so called bad day at the cinema, was just me trying to make up an excuse. I was pitifully trying to think of a reason why he might like me, even if it was just as a distant friend. I soon found myself wishing for him to be my friend.

* * *

 

**Jasper**

I disliked drama. No, that was an understatement. I  _hated_  drama. My first class of the year, was definitely the worst class I had had in a long time.

I stayed out of the way as much as I could. At least, I tried to attempt at making it like my other classes. Stay out of the way, and say nothing, were my usual plans for school.

Somehow, I couldn't keep my eyes of the human who wouldn't get out of my head. Tania was still nervous. I imagined she would be for the first day or so. I found myself only concentrating on her emotions, which was actually scary. Of course, I was probably feeling her nervousness at the same time – but still.

"So we have a new student to the school,"

All eyes darted to Tania and she felt even more embarrassed that before. At least before she had been mentioned, everyone hadn't taken notice of her. However, now that she had been revealed from her hiding place in the open, everyone could see her. Curiosity and excitement spread around the room. I had to admit, some of the curiosity was mine.

"Maybe you could introduce yourself?"

"Um... I'm Tania." She was very embarrassed now. She wasn't the first human who was shy, however I didn't think she'd had a lot of attention since she was to herself.

Perhaps she didn't want friends? Or maybe she was just to shy to talk to anyone? I was sure she had friends. Alice was her friend, however Alice had spoken to her first.

"My, my, we've never had a shy one before! I thought this subject would be more for outgoing students." Mr Gates was trying to make her feel more welcome, but apparently it wasn't having the right effect.

"Actually, I got an A Star in my GCSE." That surprised me. How could she be this embarrassed and come out with that? Still her heart was beating so loud and fast. It sounded like it would burst.

Mr Gates smiled, probably amused too. "Ahh, so there is a fire in there after all."

I was barely concentrating on the unnecessary notes I was taking. I mostly watch Tania as she took her notes furiously. She had started writing neatly, probably trying to make her notes readable. However, at the pace Mr Gates went, there wasn't enough time to write down what he was saying word for word. If it wasn't for the nervousness, I would have found it amusing.

I knew we would have to introduce ourselves before we had to. Anyone could have seen it coming. For some reason, I was very interested in what Tania had to say.

"I'm Tania, and... I just moved here." She said it with uncertainty, as if it were wrong to say something like that. She wasn't forced to stop and think up something else, to my disappointment. It wasn't even a fact about herself - it was an event that had happened to her and her family.

I didn't understand how I had just thought that. I didn't want to find out more about this girl! I should be staying away from her. I didn't care what Carlisle said. Humans shouldn't be friends with vampires! It was completely insane.

But then something else just had to happen to bring me even closer to the stupid human.

We were made to get into groups for a scripted piece we had to perform in a few months. It had started with me on my own, and two others joined, along with two girls (one of which I could tell only wanted to be in the group because I happened to be in it). She took one look at me and she was drowning me in lust. I didn't think Amber would be particularly happy by the end of the course.

Tania stood in the middle of the room looking around. She had approached one group at first but they already had enough people. She sighed in defeat, unsure of where to go.

 _Please don't come this way..._  I thought, knowing there was only one space left. But it looked like everyone else in the room had found their group.  _Oh no_.

Anna stuck up her arm and waved at Tania.  _Thank you, Anna. Thank you._  I really loved that human.

"That's it." She exclaimed as Tania slowly and cautiously made her way over to us. "We don't need any more."

I knew immediately Anna would take charge of the group, and I didn't mind.  _Stay silent and out of the way_... It wasn't exactly difficult to learn lines (being a vampire), just so long as I didn't end up with...

"Oh no!" Tania cried, looking over the script. "No way! No. Way!"

"Aww come on, it'll be fun!" said Anna, excitedly.

"I. Am. Not. Kissing. Anyone."

Amber looked at the part of the script that Tania was looking at. I quickly grabbed a script and flicked through it. Apparently this play had romance – and a lot of it.

"Oh Tania! You..." started Amber in shock. "Please, please, please can I swap with you?!"

"No, Amber, you're great for Jasmine." exclaimed Anna. "You'll be great for her – I can really imagine you as her."

"But she... and..." her eyes flickered up to me. "You can't honestly be ok with..."

Anna giggled. "It's not real. It's acting."

"Looks like you get to be Chris." She said, turning to me. "Unless you've got a problem with that...?"

I quickly glanced at the script, and then to Tania who was looking at me nervously.

"No, I don't mind." What else could I say? Would it really be that bad?  _Yes_ , said a voice, bitterly, in the back of my head. Oh and how will you do that? You're going to have to eat half the forest to even be near a human, let alone 'pretend' to kiss one. Not to mention it will be in front of everyone! What If you loose it?

"It's just acting." I shrugged. The voice was too shocked at me for being able to act naturally.

So, just to add up so far – I had been transferred into drama, where Tania just happened to be in the drama class, and not only had I been forced into a group with Tania, but into a character who had to kiss her.

How was it only the first lesson?


	10. Self Control

**Tania**

After only the first class I felt like I should get out. While walking to the building on the other side of the school, I had a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach that had been there just before Drama too. The students around were friendly, but it hurt to remind myself I was alone in this new place. It had been so long since I had walked to a class by myself. My friends had always been around.

"Hey." The brunette girl from drama and her friend Amber walked up next to me. "Tania, right?"

I smiled, grateful for the company. "Hi." I nodded. "Yeah."

"Anna." She replied.

"And Amber." said the blonde girl, whom I knew already.

"I'll try not to forget – I'm horrible with names."

"So..." started Anna. "How do you like it here so far?"

I paused. "It's different."

Amber grinned. "That's code for 'It's awful'."

Anna rolled her eyes at Amber.

"It's not  _that_  bad." I insisted, feeling like I had offended them. "It just is a little... new."

Amber laughed. "Where are you headed?"

"English in... 201." I recalled. I had checked my timetable before leaving the first class.

"Me too!" she squealed.

"Well, see you two later." said Anna, as we neared another building. She disappeared into the sea of people and the crowd carried into the building.

Amber looked over my timetable as we walked to English, saying how I had a lot of lessons with her and Anna. That made me feel slightly better that I would be attending lessons with someone I knew.

I tried to keep my nerves under control as we walked into the English class room and took our seats at the back row. However my line of vision quickly shifted around the room at the other staring students. One of which, wasn't staring at me.

She sat near the middle of the class, but right next to the window. Her long golden hair perfectly fell down her back in smooth curls, illuminated in parts slightly where the light from the window washed over her. Her perfect pale skin almost gave off a slight glow. And her position in the chair at the desk was so still, I didn't even notice her breathing.

English passed in a blur, and we had a short break before a free study period. Amber and I met up with Anna, and they both fussed over my timetable, marking what lessons I had with them.

There wasn't much to do during the study period since I hadn't had much work I needed to do. I felt nerdy as I did the little work I had.

Anna, Amber and I all got the bus into town to get something to eat. Our conversation swayed towards the Cullens.

"So who was that girl in English? The really pretty one." I asked Amber. I had wanted to ask her for a while, but it had felt wrong to talk about her behind her back. Now we were far away it seemed more... private.

"What- oh." said Amber. "That was Rosalie Hale. She usually hangs with her family or just keeps to herself..."

I gave her a questioning look. "Why?"

Amber shrugged. "I don't know. No one talks to her. Not even the guys have enough guts to ask her out."

Anna giggled. "The Cullens are just..." She sighed, tilting her head to one side in some kind of daze.

"Wait...Cullens?" I asked, confused. "Why is her surname Hale?"

"Didn't you know? The Cullen kids are all adopted. Dr. Cullen and his wife can't have kids, so they adopted." answered Amber.

I tried to get my head round it. So Jasper and Alice were both adopted? Along with their siblings?

"Alice never told me." I commented.

Anna, who had taken a sip of Coke, choked. "Alice! You mean...?"

"We're friends..." I finished for her.

Amber and Anna exchanged glances. "Wow." They chorused.

"What...?" I asked slowly.

"The Cullens don't make friends with anyone." said Anna.

"Why?" I had to ask. Why would they isolate themselves from everyone but me? Why was I special?

"No idea." She replied, taking another sip of her Coke.

So the Cullen kids were adopted. I wondered what had happened to their parents. Maybe they weren't ready to let anyone in yet, so they kept to themselves. I figured it must be something like that.

"So how'd you make friends with Alice?" asked Amber, who received a violent elbow in the stomach when the door to the shop opened.

Speak of the devil – Alice Cullen stepped in.

"Hey!" she cried, coming over to our table.

It was almost like she had been trying to prove that she was really me friend. Maybe that was why she had appeared?

"Hey, Alice." I smiled. Amber and Anna's jaws dropped.

I glanced at their shocked faces and decided it was best I introduce them, since they were incapable. "Um, this is Amber and Anna."

Alice looked like she was trying not to laugh. "Do they talk?"

I laughed shakily. "Yeah, but they're a bit shocked. Apparently Cullens don't make friends with people..." I trailed off giving her a look to ask why.

Alice ignored the silent question, laughing it off. "I'll give them a few minutes."

I sighed. "So how was your holiday – where did you go?"

"Florida." She smiled.

"Wow that must have been really nice." I smiled back. I had wanted to go there but we couldn't afford it. I wasn't much of a fan of planes either.

Alice and I caught up while Anna and Amber were sitting dumbstruck for a while, though it wasn't long till they joined in the conversation.

I hadn't realised, until we got onto the bus, that Alice hadn't bought anything in the café. It was almost as if she'd known I'd be in there. But that couldn't be possible... could it?

* * *

 

**Jasper**

Her hair layered down just past her shoulders, perfectly straight with barely a few hairs sticking out. Absent-mindedly, she ran her hand through it, while her other hand was busy taking notes. How easily that girl could have been Tania.

Suddenly she turned around and I quickly took my eyes off her, but I could still see her since she was only in the row in front. Subconsciously, my eyes drew back to her – however this time they settled on her neck. She would just disappear... no one would know. I could take her out the class and be back so fast. All there would be was her empty seat. Or even better – I could think up some excuse to get out of class with her... and then.

I closed my eyes quickly, looking away. Just by thinking about doing it had probably upset Alice. And Edward's thought-hearing ability wasn't out of range.

The unsettled girl felt a small amount of hope, before turning back to the front. She would never know what I had almost done. She had obviously thought differently – that I was  _interested_  in her. How much more wrong could you get?

What was I even doing? How fortunate that girl wasn't Tania. It was troubling me more that I hadn't wanted to drain her blood in the class I actually had with her. Maybe I had been so against the fact of who it was, I couldn't even bare to imagine it. But, why? What was so special about another human?

A voice told me she wasn't just any human. Damn that voice.

There was no way around it. Once lunch came, Emmett, Edward and Rosalie all wanted to know how Drama had gone since all Edward did know was I hated drama and I thought about Tania more than I had been before.

Somehow, Emmett managed to grab the script from my bag while I wasn't paying attention. It was immediately passed to Rosalie and Edward. All three faces looked up at me with amusement, and thanks to my 'gift' I couldn't help being amused myself.

Emmett let out a long, "Ohh." while Rosalie began to snicker.

Even thought Edward still found it funny, at least he could see the seriousness of the situation.

"Who exactly is playing...?" he began to ask, but nodded after reading my mind.

Rosalie couldn't stop laughing – it was catching from Emmett who had given up trying to hold it in.

"I knew something was going to happen between you and her!" she cried. "But you got yourself into that!"

"Not really..." I said slowly. "We didn't get to..."

"Yeah. Sure. Whatever!" She said sarcastically, giggling.

Edward stepped in. "As funny as it is." He laughed. "You know how hard it's going to be to-"

"It's too late now." I shrugged. "I guess I have plenty of time to practise it..."

Emmett laughed a little louder. "Yeah. I bet that will be a lot of fun, Jazz!"

I gave him a dark look, irritated at the nickname.

Emmett stopped laughing. "That was mean." He muttered, after I had taken his humour away. "I'm telling."

Rolling my eyes at him I continued. "It's going to be fine. Just as long as I go hunting a little more..."

"You already do that." Rosalie scowled. "We have to eat too, you know."

Edward sighed. "I think you should try and get out of it."

"You always do this!" I exclaimed, my anger slipping. "You always say how I can't do this and that because of my self control. Well, I can't get out of it – and you'll see. I'll do it, and I won't loose control. If one more person talks about it anymore..." I trailed off at a loss for a decent threat. "You'd just better keep your mouths shut."

The table seemed very awkward now and I noticed Emmett and Rosalie exchanging glances. At last I snatched the script back.

"You know..." Rosalie said. "She seems ok."

I watched her, confused. Usually Rosalie hated humans just as much as I did, or even worse. Jealous of how much more they had than vampires. How they could have children and not have to kill, and their ability to age and die.

"She kept staring at me in English. Though, everyone does... but she didn't look at me with jealousy or hate or lust. It was like... she was pleased for me."

Even my family couldn't keep my mind of Tania. Maybe it wasn't supposed to think of anything else. I decided it was just because she was new and different. That was the only reason. And soon she would just be a normal girl who happened to be in the same Drama class as me. Once the performance was over... we would both forget all about each other.

_If only vampires could forget._


	11. First Conversation

**Tania**

By the time it came to the second day at the new school, not much had changed. I was still the nervous self as I had been the day before, however this time I wasn't shaking from head to foot.

I stood outside in the car park, waiting for Anna who drove to school, only to find my eyes drawn to the Cullens.

I realised the one who was driving was Edward – the one who I met all those weeks ago, after that person had attacked me. At least – if they had been a person at all.

Something strange was going on. The Cullens were completely different to any normal family. There was something weird about them – their pale skin, their golden eyes. It was all too supernatural.

And there was something about Jasper that I couldn't quite put my finger on. He was too familiar for me not to have known him before I met him at the cinema. I could still remember those wild, almost black eyes, which had bore into mine, vividly in my head. Even after all this time, I could still remember them.

I didn't understand how this could be connected with the Cullens. I was trying to find an excuse for them both to connect but it was out of the question. A Cullen couldn't have attacked me... could they?

At that moment, Edward turned around to look at me. His expression seemed angry and fearful. Why was he mad at me? What had I done?

I felt a squirm of hurt in my stomach. I was already hated? And by a Cullen? I had thought they were nice people... maybe I had thought wrong.

I blinked and suddenly I realised Jasper was making his way towards me. I internally screamed. He had to be coming towards me – there was no where near me he would be heading, since I was standing with a wall behind me. Anna's car was nowhere to be seen.

"Hello." He greeted me. Jasper was talking to... me?!

For a split second I stood there, with my lips parted slightly in shock and awe before I hurriedly found my voice.

"Hi." I replied shakily, nervously brushing a strand of hair out of my face.

His eyes seemed different. They looked a tiny shade lighter than the day before.

"I see you survived your first day." Jasper pointed out.

I shrugged slightly. "The first and last days are the only good days out of the whole year."  _Did I mention today was the best day out of my whole school life so far?_

"You don't like school?" It was more of a statement than a question.

I laughed nervously. "Who does?"

We both stood there awkwardly for a moment. "I can talk to Anna if that's what you wanted to ask me." I offered with disappointment. I had realised it must have been the only reason he came over there in the first place. Why else would he gladly talk to me without reason?

"What do you mean?" Jasper asked, confused, confusing me at the same time.

"You don't seem like the type of person who'd say no... and I know she forced you into the part. You don't have to..." I trailed off, not particularly keen on saying what it was. "Anyway, I'll talk to her if you want."

He seemed slightly surprised. "That's not the reason I came over. You don't have to talk to her... unless you're the one who doesn't want to do it."

I blushed. "I do want to... I mean..." I bit my lip, embarrassed.

Instant pain set in across his face and all my embarrassment was forgotten. I couldn't bear to see him in pain.

"Jasper?" I asked anxiously, wondering what was wrong.

Jasper quickly looked away from me for a moment before turning back. "I'm fine." His answer sounded automatic – like he had said it a thousand times.

"What-?" I started to ask but he cut me off abruptly.

"It's nothing." He said. "I'm fine."

I tried to forget it, but I couldn't help running through the possibilities in my head, watching him, curiously.

Why was Jasper in pain? Was it something to do with past memories? Or was it physical pain? I knew right then it would bother me till I knew the reason.

"So how was Florida?" I asked. I wasn't really interested in Florida at that moment. I just wanted to hear his voice while I had the chance.

He paused for a moment, seeming a little confused at that too. Perhaps he didn't like school either and it had completely gone from his mind once the year had started.

"It was... nice." Jasper said at last. Way to describe it...

"What did you...?" I trailed off, forgetting what I was going to say. A lot of angry glares were coming my way out of the corner of my eye. Edward seemed to be glaring at me along with Rosalie. The other guy seemed to be muttering something to her, giving me glances every now and then.

Jasper turned to look at them and sighed. "I should go."

"Why are they so...?" I started to ask in confusion. What did the Cullens have against me already? It was barely day two...

"I'm sure you've probably noticed we don't really talk to anyone." Jasper explained.

"Oh..." I said sadly. "You're not supposed to be talking to me?"

He shook his head looking crestfallen. "Not really."

"They'll be mad at you?" I already knew the answer, but I wanted to talk to him, knowing I definitely wouldn't have a chance later if his family would be mad at him. Though, I didn't want Jasper to get in trouble...

Jasper nodded. "Yes. And you shouldn't be talking to me either... I'm sorry."

"Oh..." I said in a small voice. I wanted to ask why, but he was already walking away. The faces of the others turned away from me.

"Hey!" cried Anna. I hadn't noticed her come up to me.

I took my eyes off the Cullens for a moment. "Hey." I smiled at her, thought I wasn't particularly happy. She didn't seem to notice.

I quickly looked back, trying to find the Cullens, but as soon as I had found their car again, they were gone, and so was Jasper.

* * *

 

**Jasper**

She stood by herself near the car park. She was probably waiting for someone. I knew Anna and Amber had been friendly to her yesterday.

I wished I could stop thinking about her. Even Edward wished it.

When we got out the car I noticed Edward seemed to be unsettled. I was about to ask what was eating him when he growled.

"Edward?" asked Emmett cautiously, who really hated it when Edward lost control of his anger. How ironic for an empath and a vampire with anger issues to be in the same family.

"She's suspicious." He muttered acidly.

Rosalie hissed quietly.

"Calm down." said Emmett. "Everyone is."

"Yes but she's trying to relate us to the person who attacked her."

I rolled my eyes, knowing exactly what she was going to be thinking after thinking that. "And what else does is she thinking?"

Edward sighed in defeat, and a hint of self loathing. "She thinks she's being stupid." He paused. "Oh great." He said sarcastically. "She thinks I hate her."

Rosalie scoffed with amusement. "Well, she will if you give her looks like that."

I ignored her. "Aren't you going to go and try to ease her suspicion?" I asked, already knowing what the answer would be.

"Why don't you? She seems to be a lot more..." Edward laughed. "...into you."

I rolled my eyes at him again, before heading over to where she stood.

Her tension seemed a lot better than the day before – now the scare of the first day was gone.

As I greeted Tania, she was surprised. Despite that she'd seen me coming, she was still shocked. Maybe it was because it was  _me_  that she had been astonished.

It took her a long time to reply after I greeted her – at least, it felt a long time for a vampire. Seconds could be hours for one of us. "Hi." She hurriedly brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, but pulled it back forward after a few seconds as if she was wondering how to stand without difficulty, without giving in to her, what seemed to be, nervous habit.

"I see you survived your first day." Making a joke always put humans at ease.

She shrugged. "The first and last days are the only good days out of the whole year."

So she hated being nervous during the school hours. That wasn't a surprise.

"You don't like school?" It didn't feel right to be glad to have something in common with her.  _Not right at all..._

She laughed. "Who does?"

I could only think of a couple of humans that liked school in my past. Edward would know more about who liked school with his power. Perhaps if I could read minds, I would have been able to realise more why anyone  _could_  like school.

Tania's expression seemed to darken slightly. "I can talk to Anna if that's what you wanted to ask me." She said sadly. It must have been what she thought I had come over for. How could she think that?

"What do you mean?" I wondered if she would pass it off if I pretended I didn't know what she was talking about. I hoped she would.

"You don't seem like the type of person who'd say no... and I know she forced you into the part. You don't have to... Anyway, I'll talk to her if you want." I could tell she didn't want me to back out – and she was clearly afraid I would. Maybe the others were right. Maybe I should have backed out. It wasn't fair on them to go through with it, or to worry about themselves being revealed.

 _No_ , I thought defiantly. This would be a way to prove to them I did have self-control. Backing out would only ensure that I couldn't do it. I could at least try, couldn't I? And if I hung around with her and other humans long enough, and fed enough before, then everyone would be ok.  _It had to be_.

"That's not the reason I came over. You don't have to talk to her... unless you're the one who doesn't want to do it." There was always the possibility it was her. Any other human would think so. And that was me... being human.

"I do want to... I mean..." She blushed.

I quickly held my breath, regretting saying what I had said before. Being human sure had it's consequences.

The burning in my throat didn't subside, even when the blush disappeared from her face. But there was something else as well. She was... hurt.

Was she paranoid I didn't like her? Or was it plainly evident I was in pain. Sure my family was concerned sometimes about my self control, but a random human?

_She's not random._

"Jasper?" she said my name with anxiety. Scared of me? Or that I was hurting?

I looked away trying to get some air that wasn't infected by the alluring sense of human blood. "I'm fine." I turned back, repeating what I had said a million times.

"What-?" She started to ask, but I cut her off. She couldn't finish the question – no human ever could.

"It's nothing. I'm fine."

"So how was Florida?" She changed the subject, but my mind was elsewhere.

"Edward's going crazy!" said Emmett. I could hear him from behind me.

"It was... nice." I replied to satisfy Tania.

"I'll be back in a second." I muttered in reply to Emmett. Tania couldn't have heard that, or seen me say anything that fast.

"What did you...?" Her eyes moved over to where Edward, Rosalie and Emmett were standing.

"Hurry up..." said Emmett impatiently, trying to soothe his wife who appeared to be giving Tania a very severe glare alone with Edward.

"I should go." I sighed.

"Why are they so...?" she started to ask sadly.

"I'm sure you've probably noticed we don't really talk to anyone." It was the truth.

"Oh... You're not supposed to be talking to me?"

I shook my head. "Not really."

"They'll be mad at you?" Now she was afraid of me getting into trouble? What was with this human?

I nodded. "Yes. And you shouldn't be talking to me either... I'm sorry." She shouldn't be – but it was far too late now. We were in the same class, the same group, the same relationship in said group... How could I have let this get so far? When did it get so far in a single day?

"Oh..." I gave her an apologetic glance and took off back to the others.

"Happy now?" I asked, annoyed at their behaviour once they had calmed down.

"I'm sorry. I'm blaming you for making her suspicious, and then I just go and act like that." Rosalie apologised.

Edward, however, wasn't sorry. "Get out of that group, Jasper. I don't care what Alice saw. It's wrong, and you know it."

"Actually, I can't read minds, so how would I know, Edward?" I said coldly. "Looks like I'm not the only one who's being immature, brother."

We walked into the school. Edward, annoyed.


	12. Alone

**Tania**

As I walked home from the bus stop, I noticed something strange about the house from down the road. There was another car parked in the driveway, but it wasn't just any old car. It was a new looking black, sleek, Mercedes.

Sighing, I wondered whether it was a car David had bought. This would probably be the start to a long line of brand new items we were going to get – starting with my mother and David's room. But why would they buy a new car when there was still the decorating to do – and why hadn't they told me? Some surprise it would be for me. I wasn't into cars at all...

I prepared myself to go in the house and yell at my mother for letting him use the money to please himself before actually spending it on finishing the house. But as I opened the door I saw two beautiful people in the living room.

As usual when there were people over, a few mugs of tea and a plate of untouched biscuits were laid on the coffee table. My mother was smiling her 'happy to have people over' grin, and all faces in the room looked up to see me.

"Tania." My mother exclaimed, standing up and walking over to me. "As you know, David and I are leaving to go on a trip next week."

I nodded slowly.

"Well, I know how scared you get when you're home alone so Dr. Cullen and his wife have offered to let you stay while we're gone."

My eyes widened and I blinked in shock. "Wait- you-you..." My cheeks burned warmer than the hot summer air outside.

"Tania." She bought me over to where Carlisle and Esme were now standing. Each of them smiling. I had never been more embarrassed. "This is Carlisle, and Esme."

"Hi." I put on my fake smile before turning back to my mother. "Mum, a word in the kitchen, please?"

"But, dear-?" she started to ask. I cut her off.

"It's important." I muttered darkly.

"Fine." She sighed.

I gave them a quick smile, before disappearing into the kitchen with my mother.

"Mum, you know I will be ok! You didn't have to do this!" I quickly hissed, careful not to let them overhear.

"Tania, please, I don't want it to end up like last time. Please, they offered to let you stay with them for next week. And they said you were friends with their daughter Alice. You'll be happy staying with them, won't you?"

"Yes, but that's not the point." I argued. "I'll be fine here by myself. You don't have to worry about me, mum."

"But I do worry, sweetheart." Said my mother sadly. "If you won't stay with them for yourself, please do it for me? I don't want you to stay in your room, afraid of – well whatever scares you when you're home alone."

I sighed and looked away towards the window. It would probably do me good to stay with them. I remembered the last time I had been left home alone for a few days. I hadn't dared set foot out of my room when it was dark. It had been truly nerve-wracking.

"Alright."

Her face lit up. "Thanks, dear." She kissed my cheek. "They're nice people, I promise."

"Sorry about that." My mother said to them when we got back in the room.

"It's fine." Esme waved it away.

"So, Tania," started Carlisle. I took a seat on the sofa next to my mother. "Have you met the whole family?"

"I don't think so."

"There's Alice, Edward, Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper."

On 'Jasper' I felt the heat rise in my cheeks again. I hoped they didn't notice too much. Or at least – make the connection.

"Jasper's told us... well, about the play you're doing in drama." pointed out Esme.

"Um... yeah." I bit my lip.

Carlisle glanced down at his watch. "I'm awfully sorry, but I'm due for a shift at the hospital in half an hour."

"Oh that's ok!" cried my mother. "You are welcome whenever you like. Any of you."

"It was very nice to meet you both." said Esme, politely, standing with Carlisle.

"Pleasure's ours." said my mother's hysteric talking-to-guest voice.

It had felt oddly strange for them to be in the house. And now they were gone, it was weirder still.

So that was who I would be staying with next week...

* * *

The next two days blurred into each other. I was in another one of the constant routines of getting up going to school, doing my homework, and going to bed. There was no time for myself any more. At least, if I wanted there to be, then I had to stay up late, causing my eyes to be dark in the morning. And I didn't want people to notice.

The staying up late was a huge mistake. In Drama class on the Wednesday, Craig and Jason were pretty annoyed with me.

"What's the point in even going over this if you don't learn your lines!" exclaimed Jason.

In actual fact, I had learnt my lines of the scene we were working on. Better than Jason, but he was the type of person who would lash out when the other group members didn't know their lines. I had just been a little out of it for the moment.

"I do know them." I said, trying to be annoyed, but failing.

"Really?" he asked sarcastically.

"She knows them better than you, idiot." Amber stuck up for me. I was grateful. I wasn't really good at standing up for myself.

I noticed Jasper give a sharp glance at Jason for a moment and my heart fluttered. Was he actually angry at Jason for being annoyed with me? That must mean something! It had to!

Anna sighed. "Can we please just keep going?" She said, waving her script.

"I don't know..." I said to Anna. Chris was the character Jasper was playing. That made my mind smile.

"What about Jasmine?" asked Anna, who was referring to Amber's character. "You know she's in love with him."

"Yes, but... Chris doesn't love her back. I've seen the way he looks at her."

"I think you might be right..." said Anna softly. "I don't think Jasmine's the one."

"Then who do you think he's in love with?"

"Ok let's stop there!" said Mr. Gates, heading towards us.

"So how's that kissing scene coming along?" He smiled.

"We haven't rehearsed it yet." exclaimed Amber.

"Well, you'd better hurry up." He walked off, still grinning.

I shook my head in disbelief.

"Maybe he's right?" said Craig, smirking. "The sooner it's over and done with..." He cut off with Jason laughing with him. "The sooner we can get the whole thing right..."

"Ugh." said Amber, pulling me away. "Just ignore them."

I hadn't spoken to my friends in a long time, so calling them at lunch was the perfect opportunity. While Amber and Anna went into town as usual to get their lunch, I stayed behind in the common room.

"Hey!" I said as Nessa picked up her mobile.

"Hi." She said happily as some people were laughing in the background.

"What's up?" I asked, but she wasn't paying attention. She laughed hysterically.

"Hey!" I said annoyed, trying to get her attention.

"I'm sorry." She laughed. "Pen just said... well you had to be there."

I sighed. "So how are you guys?"

"Just a sec." I listened to her laugh with my old friends for a while. The laughed died down after a minute and then they started talking about something else which I couldn't hear.

I hung up the phone, knowing she wouldn't pick it back up anytime soon.

So that was it? My friends had moved on and didn't care anymore? They didn't need me. They had each other. And I had... I had...

I leant back in my chair. The common room was empty – everyone was out in town at lunch. I was alone.

I had bought it upon myself really. I was excited to move – and now these were the consequences of it. How could I have not thought that I would loose my old friends? How did I not realise they would move on? It wasn't like they would have a choice. I knew I should have been happy they would be happy without me, but it was like they didn't even care anymore.

The door opened and I looked up to see none other than Jasper. Perfect, I thought sarcastically.

I looked back down, saying nothing. He wouldn't want to talk to me anyway. There has certainly been no conversation between us for the last few days. The other Cullens weren't around so he didn't really have an excuse.

Suddenly he was sitting opposite me, watching as I put my phone back in my bag that was sitting on the table.

"You ok?" he asked. I was so surprised I nearly jumped. So he  _did_  want to talk to me?

"I'm fine." I muttered, picking up my pencil again.

As I glanced at him quickly, I noticed his face looked disbelieving but I pretended he had believed the lie.

"You're sitting in here by yourself." Jasper pointed out.

I scoffed. "Well done." smiling in amusement. For some reason I felt better when Jasper was around.

"I thought you would be out with Anna and Amber."

"Sometimes I like being by myself." How did that slip out? "Besides, I have to finish this." I still kept my eyes off him somehow so I couldn't see his expression.

"Don't you have study next anyway?"

I shrugged. "I guess so but English isn't one of my strengths."

"How do you know I have study next?" I said after a moment.

"I have it at the same time." He laughed softly. "Haven't you even noticed me in here?"

"Honestly... no. I've never seen you in here before."

I couldn't do it anymore – I had to look up. And I was glad I did. His eyes were a bright gold, and he seemed almost happy. A lot happier than the other times I had seen him anyway.

And then he laughed.

"I guess I blend in the background a lot more than I thought."

I smiled. "Same. Well, I did at my old school. But being new has made me stand out more, apparently."

"It's not just that..." he trailed off.

"What is it then?"

Jasper said nothing. He almost looked zoned out.

"Exactly." I rolled my eyes.

I looked back down at the passage I was meant to be annotating for English. A couple of minutes later he spoke again.

"You seem younger than everyone else."  _So he was back now?_

"Do I?" I asked with the same tone.

"How old are you?"

I looked up again. "Fifteen." I said in a low voice. "Don't tell anyone."

Jasper laughed. "Why don't you want them to know?"

"Aren't you even bothered by my age?"

"Should I be?"

I laughed. "We should stop asking questions without answering them."

"Ok then, you go first."

"Ok..." I leant my elbows on the table. "My school did everything a year early and I don't want people to know because I'm afraid they'll call me names." I laughed. "Stupid, right?"

"It's not stupid. But I don't think anyone will care you're younger than them. It'll just mean you're smarter."

"But  _Jason_..." I started.

"Jason would." He admitted.

I sighed, writing something down.

"I won't tell anyone." said Jasper.

"You'd better not." I threatened, smiling.


	13. Desperation

**Jasper**

Two hours passed extremely slowly. Whether it was either the repetition or the complete and utter boredom of every day classes, or the fact that my mind wouldn't stop racing, I was unsure.

I had been having an internal debate for the whole lesson, while barely focusing on the actual work. Somehow a simple question was in fact, a pretty tough one. Do I offer to drive Tania home?

Of course, Edward and co. would have to walk or something, but when I had seen her at lunch I could tell by her emotions something was bothering her. Besides, I had to see if she was ok, right?

I had to admit, I couldn't hate this girl. There had been something ever since we first met that stopped me from hating her outright. I wasn't sure if I ever had done... At least, I couldn't remember it – which was saying something.

Somehow the classes ended and I managed to avoid Rosalie while finding Edward and worming the car keys out of his tightly clenched fist. He had never been happy about anyone borrowing his car.

Unfortunately by the time I had finished arguing with Edward, I saw the bus drive away down the road. Edward and the others had already gone, so I just began to drive but could not stop worrying about Tania.

I didn't understand how I could be so wrapped up in this. It was ridiculous!  _Humans are not friends_ , I reminded myself constantly.  _They are not friends_. Was I really this lonely to want a human for a friend?

"Or something  _more_  than a friend?" Emmett's voice echoed in my mind and I shook my head franticly, trying to clear it. And then there was the play... I had gotten myself into something I couldn't get out of. How could the school do that? If it weren't for them I wouldn't even have had to look at the human. I wouldn't have to suffer all the time. I wouldn't...

I slowed the car suddenly. There was a girl walking down the road, with two huge folders under her arm and her headphones trailing down into her over full shoulder bag.  _Tania_?

As I got closer I knew something was wrong. Had she missed the bus – but how had she? I would have seen her before I left the school. And she was upset. I had the overwhelming urge to go and comfort her. Whatever it was... could I not take it away and make her happy again?

I pulled the car over to the side of the road. "Hey!"

She stopped slowly, and turned around. Her eyes were distant and dazed. I picked up some shame in her emotions. Why was she ashamed? I was sure she hadn't done anything wrong... Unless she was ashamed of me seeing her like this.

"Hi." She smiled but her emotions suggested differently to her smile. A human wouldn't have noticed. Her voice was distant too. She was speaking in monotone.

Something was up with her music as well. She had some earphones – but no music was playing.

"Need a lift?" I offered. But I wasn't about to take no for an answer and leave her alone.

Tania glanced at the car for a moment before answering. "If you don't mind." She smiled again. She was good at hiding her emotions... but no one could hide their emotions from the empath.

As she walked toward the car, her bag suddenly split at the straps. The contents fell to the floor, and because we were in public I couldn't have stopped it.

She sighed, and for a second she was feeling so much sadness I thought she was going to cry.

"Let me..." I picked up her books that had fallen while she struggled to gather her things together.

Then I noticed why she had no music playing. Her earphones weren't attached... to anything. She had just had them in. I didn't want to question her, but she saw me looking at the end of the wire.

"Someone stole my iPod." Tania muttered, still using her monotone.

"What? When?" I asked, outraged that humans did that kind of thing.

"Jus' now." She sighed again.

That had been unexpected. Had Alice not seen what would happen? Surely she would have let me know... But shouldn't I be the one to blame? I should have seen or heard it happen. I should have stopped them.

"Are you hurt?" I asked, trying to sound more concerned than outraged.

"No, no." she said quickly. "But it's like someone stealing a Bible from a Priest. A priest who can't actually afford another one..." her face fell a little more at that statement.

I would have bought her a new one, but they were too expensive for a regular teen to buy one for a friend. I wasn't even much of a friend to her. It would look very strange for me to get her a new one.

"I'm sorry." I said.

Tania shrugged. "Don't worry about it." She took out her earphones, embarrassed that I knew she wasn't really listening to any music.

I hadn't found it weird at all. It obviously meant something to her. She must have thought she wouldn't be able to listen to music in public again for lack of money. Her parents probably wouldn't buy her a new one either or she wouldn't have been worried about the cost.

I had never spent so much time around an upset human before. I drew up the conclusion that it wasn't the best feeling in the world. Especially seeing that it wasn't just any human...

She wasn't relaxed at all while I drove her home, sitting in an uncomfortable position for a human and staring out the window. I kept glancing at her for most of the journey. She appeared to be watching the outside but her eyes were unmoving.

"Are you ok?" I felt the need to ask her, to let her know I cared, even though I knew what she would reply with.

It took her a long time to say something. I desperately wanted to use my power on her but when a human was so upset like this it would have been too obvious something was making her mood change.

"I don't know."

Again, Tania had surprised me. I had expected her to pass it off and say she was ok. Perhaps she found it difficult to lie, however easy the lie was.

She was in too much despair for the only thing to be wrong was that someone had stolen her iPod. There was something else wrong... but I didn't know what. "What's wrong?" Why was I asking her? She wasn't going to tell me.

Just like before, she took a while to answer the question. However this time I knew she was doing it on purpose. We were coming up to her house and she was surely waiting so she wouldn't have to answer.

"Everything." Tania almost whispered in a voice that broke my cold dead heart, as I stopped the car at the side of the road.

"Thanks for the ride, Jasper." She muttered, gathering her things together as fast as she could.

"Wait." I wanted to know what was wrong.

"I'm sorry." She didn't listen, walking quickly to her house.

I sighed unnecessarily. Maybe Edward would have read her thoughts? It didn't seem right to be finding information about her though Edward. Whatever had upset her was nothing to do with me. Her thoughts were her own, private place. I had no right to be trying to find information thought them. However, it still bothered me. I vowed to do something nice for her.

An unhappy Edward was waiting for me in the hallway at home.

"Something has to be done about this." He muttered angrily.

"Edward... please?" asked Alice, coming into the hallway. "You have to."

"No I don't, Alice!" yelled Edward. "Can't you see what's happening? Don't you know that-,"

"I know better than you! I've seen it happen. It's going to be fine, Edward. Really! You need to stop being so overdramatic."

Edward growled and headed for the stairs, disappearing into his room.

"What just happened?" I asked, wishing Alice would stop hiding her vision from everyone, especially me.

Alice sighed. "Edward doesn't want it to happen..."

"What?"

"The vision! He thinks it's bad for us – well I suppose it is, but I've seen it work out. And it's fine! Edward just doesn't think it will. He thinks she's-," she cut off. "Ugh!"

I watched her curiously.

"It's getting harder and harder not to spill. It really is. Sooner or later... you're going to find out. And then you're going to leave."

"Alice... I'm not leaving."

Her face lit up suddenly and hope swelled inside her. But all too soon it was gone.

"Sure, you say that now. But when you find out... and you will, you  _will_  leave. Please don't leave."

"Alice." I said again, amused. "I promise, I'm not leaving."

She shrugged. "That still doesn't mean anything to me."

"What do you want me to do? Swear on my soul?"

Edward growled from upstairs.

Alice shook her head. "Sorry. If Edward had kept quiet I would have probably accepted that."

I looked at her blankly, now out of ideas.

She smiled. "Think – is there any reason for you to stay? I don't think there is." I could tell she was being sly. She felt mischievous.

"Of course there is."

And then I realised what she had wanted me to stay. "I don't think I could leave, even if I wanted to..."

A huge beam suddenly spread across Alice's face. "Now that's what I wanted to hear. I can tell you now."


	14. Sparks and Secrets

**Tania**

It had been a long time since I had cried myself to sleep at night. It was much different, but in some ways it was still the same, this time. Last time – it had been practically every night for a year I would do it. That had been just the one, stand alone time. I was not going to cry the next night, I knew.

However it was still the same because I was crying for the same reasons. Now that my friends had left me, I was starting to feel more alone. Even more so than before. The loneliness. The unbelievably unbearable loneliness that hunted me. It would never go away until the person who I had been waiting for, for a long time, would come and end it.

But  _who_  would be that person? Funny, how I had thought of that and Jasper had suddenly appeared in my mind. But I wasn't going to do that to him. I wasn't going to shove my worries and craziness and depression of my life in his face. He deserved someone so much better than me.

I stopped suddenly, while I was lying in my bed in the morning. Was I actually wondering what it would be like if I was with him? Or if I should even try? What would I even do? After the day before when he had driven me home I had made it pretty clear I didn't want to have anything to do with him. It wouldn't be right if I suddenly turned around and asked if he wanted to hang out with me sometime. He probably already thought I was insane.

"Tania?" my mother opened my door and stepped into my room. "Time to get up." She knew I had an alarm clock in my room, but still she always did it every morning.

I rubbed my eye groggily. "I don't feel too good today. Can I stay home?"

The truth was, when I got depressed I ate. The night before I had came home and cried for so long, eating and eating until I couldn't eat anymore. I felt so sick, I didn't trust myself to get up.

My mother seemed to be in one of those moods where she would let me do whatever, so she smiled. "Sure. Do you want a drink?"

I smiled back, glad I wouldn't have to go to school (and see Jasper).

"Where were you yesterday?" asked Amber sadly as we walked to drama the next day in the afternoon. It was Friday.

"I didn't feel well. Sorry I wasn't here to rehearse with you." I replied. I tried to stop making myself feel so bad – it was the truth.  _That I had caused._

"That's ok." She said. "But Jason is really annoyed."

I sighed. "Great." I said sarcastically. "Maybe when he feels sick I should blame him for not being here."

Amber was silent. I didn't mind. I didn't really feel like talking.

"Jasper was wondering where you were." She smirked. "He was asking us if we had your phone number and all that stuff."

I couldn't help but smile.  _Jasper_  was concerned about  _me_?

"You like him, don't you?" she laughed. "Well, it's ok. I think he likes you too." She giggled.

I tried not to giggle. "Ok maybe a little."

"Want me to ask him out for you?" she offered.

"Um..." I was a bit taken aback by her offer. I had thought  _she_  liked him too. But anyway, what if he said no? I thought I would be better of not knowing what he would say at all. "I'll think about it."

Amber laughed.

When I walked into the drama hall I was stunned to see Jasper look over at me. He gave me a reassuring smile, but in his eyes he was worried.

"Hey." I smiled and sat down next to him. Amber giggled and quickly whispered something to Anna. I rolled my eyes at them as they giggled.

"Hey, where were you yesterday?" The worry was in his voice too.

"I didn't feel so good so I stayed home. Sorry I couldn't make it to rehearsal. I will try not to miss any more."

"You'd better not." Jason came over to me with a serious expression. "You really let all of us down yesterday. First you don't bother to learn your lines and then-,"

"Jason." Jasper cut him off. "She was sick. If you were, we would all understand. And maybe she has a little trouble learning her lines but it doesn't matter since we have four more months until we have to perform so I'm sure Tania will get it by then. There's no need to be angry."

Even though my heart was no longer solid around Jasper, it still melted.

Jason huffed and walked off back to where Craig was standing with some other guys.

"Thanks for standing up to me." I said when he was out of earshot.

Jasper smiled. "It's nothing. It wasn't your fault. He shouldn't be mad."

I smiled to myself for a long moment, unable to stop. I was still overwhelmed by the fact that Jasper had stood up for me!

"Sorry about the other day... I just get like that sometimes."

I wished I hadn't have said anything, but I needed to apologize. But his bright golden eyes turned sad for a moment, and then his face lit up slightly.

"I have something for you."

I watched him in awe. He had something... for me? What could it have been? What would he get me?

Jasper rummaged through his bag for a second before taking out...  _an iPod?_

"You seemed upset that you didn't have yours anymore, so you can borrow mine till you get a new one."

"Oh my gosh!" I cried. "You really don't have to-,"

"It's ok, I was going to get a new one anyway." How could someone this nice possibly exist? I must have passed out on my way there and I was dreaming. Either that or I had died in my sleep and this was Heaven.

"Thanks so much!" I cried.

And then I did something incredibly unexpected. I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him.

I was just as surprised as he was. Jasper stiffened slightly, before hugging me back gently. He seemed so cold and hard, but it felt amazing to be in his arms. It felt so good... so... right.

When we pulled back, I felt a lot of people staring at us and I felt my cheeks burn. It was like my first day all over again. I glanced at Anna and Amber and they looked like they were trying not to laugh.

Thankfully, Mr. Gates walked in to take the register and give us the usual reminder of the deadline. We would sometimes do an exercise to get into character.

Anna came and sat next to me and I mouthed to her. "First hug with a guy, ever."

"Aww..." she mouthed back. I grinned, biting down on my lip to stop myself giggling.

However, it was all against me that day. He came over to our group after he told everyone to "skedaddle".

"So, have you tried that scene yet?" he asked Jasper and I.

I could feel my cheeks burn again and shook my head.

"You two can work on it today. The rest of you should try and get into character. I've noticed you've been lacking on that."

He started talking to the others, leaving Jasper and I on our own.

"Maybe we should go somewhere private?" I suggested.

Jasper started laughing. "You're making it sound really bad..."

"Well you wouldn't want to do it here would you?" I giggled.

He shook his head standing up. "I hope no one is listening to this conversation..."

We walked into the room next door that was off the drama hall. There was no one in there. It had a few chairs scattered around and some random papers in places. We stood in the middle where there was a space around the chairs. It was almost like a circle...

I glanced at the script. I didn't know all my lines for the scene, but we weren't really going to practise the whole scene. Somehow, Jasper knew his lines perfectly.

"Where are we going from?" I asked.

"How about from the top of the page?"

I could feel my pulse start to rise but I ignored it.

"Ok." I nodded.

Jasper took my hand, like it said in the stage direction, and I immediately felt my pulse increase even more. If a hug was hard, how were we going to manage this?

"Stacey." He looked down at me into my eyes. "Please, come with me."

My lower lip trembled. "Chris. You know I can't." I pulled back my hand. "Jasmine's my best friend..."

"But... I love you."

I stared into his eyes for a lot longer than a moment. My lips were parted slightly, as were his. And then somehow, I found myself closer to him. My mind wasn't telling my feet to go on tiptoe, and yet they were. Everything around the room was nothing now. I could only see his face, and his face alone. Our lips met.

"Tania? Tania?"

I was seeing black. Annoyed, I realised I must have fainted while kissing Jasper. Perfect.

I opened my eyes slowly. I was on the floor of the room. No one else was there so I couldn't have been out for long or he would have got someone.

"Are you ok?" asked Jasper, panicked.

"If I do that on stage, just go with it." I said, groggily, still in some kind of daze staring at the ceiling.

Jasper laughed. "I honestly had no idea I had this effect on people."

I smirked. "Sorry to sound immature and all, but you basically just admitted you've never kissed a girl."

He laughed again. "Or maybe you have never kissed a guy."

I pouted and sat up. "Ok, you got me. Now you have three secrets to keep."

"Three?" he asked.

"Yes. One – I'm not fifteen, two – I have kissed a guy before, and three – I did not just faint, ok?"

Jasper smiled. "Alright. But you have a secret too."

"Oh?" I raised my eyebrows.

"I haven't kissed someone before either."

I had to laugh. "Are you telling me, this was our first kiss? It wasn't even... I was hardly conscious for it!"

"And there shall be many more..." exclaimed Jasper, amused.

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, and hopefully for those ones I won't be lying on the floor passed out."

I couldn't help but feel happy there would be more. My heart was leaping for joy at the fact that I had had my first kiss with Jasper!


	15. Suck it up

**Jasper**

I had two reasons to go hunting that night. The main one was that I was actually hungry and I needed to hunt anyway. Any day I would be asked to rehearse that scene with Tania again, and I needed to make sure I hunted regularly in order to not accidently eat her. The second reason was Alice had told me everything, and I needed to digest it.

The vision had finally been revealed to me. I had no idea if it was good or bad. Alice had seen Tania and I... together.

Of course, it shouldn't have been much of a shock. I had realised that was probably the reason why I was thinking so much about her. And it had been the reason why suddenly it was all about this human – her – now.

 _This human._ I shook my head at the depersonalisation. It wasn't right to call her that. She wasn't just a human.

But if Tania was my mate in Alice's vision, how would it possibly turn out that way? Sure, Tania did give off those kind of emotions when she was around me, however she was only  _fifteen_. She seemed mature, but did she think of herself mature enough to be in that kind of relationship? Oh yeah, and I was a vampire.

Vampire. She would run faster than one if I told her. Her fear of when I attacked her at the start of the summer was enough taster of our world for her. Tania shouldn't even be anywhere near us. She didn't belong in that world.

But would it be so bad if she was? I rolled my eyes at my thoughts. Of course it would be! She would have to give up so much, for someone she might not even love if she would be turned – and she would have to be if she was 'welcomed' into the supernatural life.

Maybe she wouldn't be so shocked if I told her. Tania already had suspicions. It would be better than her working it out for herself. She would probably run away after that. And then Alice would have kept the vision from me for nothing. I would have ran if she had told me before.

When I got back to the house, I found Esme in the kitchen – something which was a little weird, since vampires didn't need to eat. She was cooking.

I walked over to the counter and she turned round to smile at me before looking down at her recipe book and going back to what she was preparing. It was a chicken.

"Esme..." I started to ask.

"Yes, Jasper?" she smiled. She was excited about something.

"Why are you cooking?"

Esme beamed with happiness, turning back round to me. "The Carters are coming to dinner."

If I could have gone any paler, I would have.

Her face fell in shock. "I thought one of the others told you..."

Emmett stood in the doorway, pleased with himself. I gave him an annoyed glance.

"Oh no..." I groaned. "We have to eat?"

"Yes." said Esme, finishing off preparing the chicken and placing it in the oven. "And best behaviour, Emmett."

Emmett laughed. "I'll try..."

At least meat was alright. Salads, fruit and vegetables were defiantly not my favourite human food. However meat with blood in would have been more satisfying.

So once again I had been left in the dark. The rest of the family were getting ready for Tania and her family to arrive. Esme was most excited, and I wasn't surprised to see that Rosalie was the least. Emmett just wanted another human to torment, whereas Edward was annoyed. It had been buzzing around for a while that she was coming to stay, but we hadn't known Esme invited her for dinner. In fact, we had mostly pushed the idea of Tania staying with us to the back of our minds. Edward always got a little annoyed whenever we even thought about it.

Tania was so nervous when she arrived; I feared it would be like that all week. I remembered when I had kissed her only the previous day. It had been so real it was almost the opposite. When it had happened, I didn't even think about the fire in my throat that was constantly burning. In fact, it had nearly died away, as if the fire was finally going out. I wasn't sure if the reason was that I had eaten a heard of deer that morning, or if I was gradually becoming immune to Tania's scent. I thought about asking Carlisle about it later.

I carried her bags effortlessly to the guest room – where she would be staying for the next few days. The feeling was strange. A human had never stayed in the house for that long. Esme would be happy to look after her, and perhaps Carlisle too. But Rosalie and Edward would not enjoy her stay. Of course, they wouldn't say anything about it and act friendly towards her. Though secretly, they wouldn't be giving off the best emotions.

I lingered for a moment, listening to the two families greeting each other. I imagined Alice would hug her before they all went into the living room while Esme finished the dinner. It was exactly like a normal dinner between two families... except the Cullens weren't normal in the slightest.

When I got back downstairs, Tania was sitting on one of the sofas next to her mother. It was strange how her father didn't resemble her at all, although she looked a lot like her mother.

Tania looked up as she saw me enter the room and I couldn't help but smile at her. She smiled shyly back. She probably hadn't forgotten the previous drama lesson.

* * *

 

**Tania**

"You have a lovely home." My mother complimented; Her typical, friendly self.

I sat on the sofa, embarrassed and awkward. Socialising. One of the most horrible situations I ever found myself in. It was hard to keep reminding myself that I was doing this so I wouldn't have to stay home alone, and so my mother wouldn't be worried.

At least Jasper was there, right? And Alice. Edward was nice too – even though he could be cold sometimes. Although, when I thought of it, the only time he had been nice was when I happened to be all venerable in the summer. That glare at school hadn't been very friendly. He changed his mind a lot. At least Jasper was a lot easier. His mood didn't change six hundred times a day. That must make me impossibly hard to manage. Oh how the Cullens wouldn't approve of me.

...Was it possible I was rambling in my mind?

I was pulled out of my thoughts when Esme was calling my name and I blinked a few times, not registering what she was asking me.

"No, thanks." I answered; finally realising she was asking if I wanted a drink. Saying no was easier.

Edward suddenly laughed and I darted my gaze towards him. He stopped laughing quickly.

Jasper, who was sitting on the arm on the chair that Alice was sitting in seemed laid back, and for some reason it seemed to be contagious. For some reason I wasn't as jumpy as I had been before. I even stopped fidgeting. What happened to my anxiety?

It wasn't long until dinner had started and we were all seated around the Cullens' huge, glass dinning room table. Their grand house seemed to have no end. It was an amazing on-going mansion... How was I meant to find my way around that place?

Esme bought out the final part of the dinner. A chicken. I gasped.

"What's wrong?" asked my mother. Silence quickly swept the room and I stared with wide eyes at Jasper.

I was speechless. Was it a secret from his family? Why would he keep it from them?

Jasper looked confused. "What?"

I couldn't stop staring at him.

"You-you..." I stuttered.

He nodded slowly and everyone still continued to stare in confusion.

"But how could you! It might be hard for you I suppose – but, Jasper, how could you- why?" I was tripping over my words.

Esme's hand flew to her mouth. "Oh no, you're vegetarian aren't you Tania? Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!"

"No! Jasper is!" I cried.

The silence broke with fits of laughter from Jasper. I watched him in disbelief. What was going on? He had said plain and clear in class he was vegetarian. And the chicken was... I was so confused.

"I'm not vegetarian, Tania." Said Jasper once he had stopped laughing.

"But you said... I'm sure you said..." I mumbled, being consumed by embarrassment.

"That must have been someone else." He replied. "I am definitely not vegetarian."

Everyone was laughing then. My face fell and I bit my lip. Way to cause a scene...

"Sorry." I mumbled.

Dinner seemed to be alright after the embarrassment. My mother started to explain the fact that David wasn't my father. I blocked out the rest of her conversation with Esme. Alice started talking to me anyway, making a long list of styles and clothing she would be getting for the shop with Rosalie. It was amazing how she could remember every single one.

Jasper was silent.

"Oh, and we're getting some jewellery too..." started Alice, but she seemed to trail off suddenly.

I noticed Edward look up, concerned, as her eyes seem to glaze over for a few seconds.

"Necklaces, bracelets..." Alice continued like nothing had happened. I wasn't listening to her anymore. What had that been? Some kind of zone out? Maybe she was just remembering something. Even if her eyes had looked so distant like that. They were all adopted. Maybe she was just remembering something from her past? Something she didn't want to think about or remember? It had to have been.

"Goodbye, sweetie." Said my mother at the door, hugging me.

"Bye." I smiled, trying to tell her it will be ok, and I'll be fine – as usual.

David didn't even say a word.

I made my way into the kitchen to see if I could help cleaning up. It was the least I could do, but to my surprise everything was already in the dishwasher. Even all the counters were clean. The kitchen looked like it had never even been used.

"Looking for something?" asked Esme, suddenly appearing. Was this family always so fast?

"No, thank you."

She smiled at me and started to exit.

"Esme?" I asked before she'd left the room.

"Yes, dear?" she turned around. There was so much warmth in her strange golden eyes.

"Um... thanks for the dinner. It was really nice."

Esme smiled again, "My pleasure. I love to cook, but I rarely get a chance to – we don't usually have family meals."

"That's a shame. You are a great cook."

She laughed. "I'm glad you think so."

Morning came, somehow. The previous night I had shut my eyes and opened them straight away to brilliant sunshine coming from the window.

Something didn't feel right. Sleepily, I sat up in bed and immediately wished I hadn't. A wave of nausea I hadn't felt in a long time, hit me and I dashed towards the bathroom along the hall.


	16. Golden Poison

**Jasper**

Alice saw it happen the previous night. Not wanting to intrude, I reluctantly let Carlisle and Esme get to her first.

"It must have been the chicken." Concluded Carlisle sorrowfully as Tania sat on the bathroom floor.

"Tania, I am so sorry!" cried Esme, rushing in to join us. "I can't have cooked it properly... I haven't made family meals in such a long time..."

"It's ok, I'm ok." Tania cut her off, breathing deeply. "But what about you guys... and my mum and David..." she groaned.

Esme helped her up off the floor slowly. "I'll call them and see if everything's ok." She said.

Tania seemed reluctant to go back to her room as Esme tried to hep her back along the hallway. "What about school?" she asked worriedly.

"You don't have to worry about that." Esme waved it away as if it was nothing. Well... we were always skipping school in the sun and to hunt.

"We'll help you catch up." I offered before she disappeared back into the guest room. Secretly, I wanted to do the opposite; to stay with her all day, to make sure she was alright. I knew that Esme would take care of her, but I wanted to comfort her in this alien place. It was only Alice and I that she knew.

Alice was beside me in the hallway, tugging on my wrist. "Come on, you'll be late."

I took one last glance at the room, listening to Tania on the other side of the door, breathing deep and slow. You wouldn't have to be an empath to know she felt ashamed and homesick.

Anxiously, I walked down slowly to the Volvo where Rosalie, Emmett and Edward were waiting. It was hard not to radiate my emotions across to them.

"She'll be fine." Edward tried to reassure me. "It's just a little food poisoning. Alice would see anything  _really_  bad." Unfortunately, Edward wasn't the greatest person to do that in the world.

The day passed unimaginably slow. How I had lasted decades seemed like a complete mystery. This was... agony. Every second I thought when I would next phone Esme to ask how she was, but I couldn't keep calling her to the point of annoyance. Thankfully, we didn't have drama that day, or Tania would feel even worse.

I ran home. It was faster than the Volvo because of all the shortcuts I took. I managed to catch a snack on the way back to the house too. When I finally got inside, I knew where she was.

I had told myself I was just checking on her – just having a look to see if she looked better than she did this morning. Her room was quiet apart from her even breathing signalling that she was asleep. There was nearly a full glass of water on the bedside table. The top of the glass was clean so she hadn't drunk any. Perhaps Esme had left it there for her if she woke up.

As I neared the edge of her bed, I couldn't help but stand there and watch as she slept. I remembered the last time I had watched her sleep and tried to bite back the memories of that night, hoping that she would forget them soon in time.

Her sleep was peaceful enough to satisfy me, but even from a distance I could feel the heat coming from her body.

Slowly, wondering if she would wake, I reached out my hand and placed it on her boiling hot cheek. She flinched under my cold touch and I debated whether to take it back or not, but she soon relaxed under my hand and let out a long sigh of relief. Had she felt this uncomfortable for a while?

Her heart rate told me she was awake, but still she kept her eyes shut, enjoying the coolness of my vampire skin. And then her eyelids fluttered open.

"Hey." I smiled, realising that I had somehow ended up close to her face, kneeling down on the floor.

"Hey." She smiled back weekly. She was tired.

"How are you feelin'?" I asked, still not removing my hand.

She laughed slightly. "Do you really want me to answer that?"

I didn't reply. Tania moved her own hand above the covers onto mine that was still on her cheek.

"It's so hot." She breathed.

An idea sparked, even though I knew it was the solution all along but failed to co-operate with such an idea.

"Here." I said, moving around the bed at a slow human pace so as not to startle her.

Tania seemed curious as to what I was doing. She watched as I got onto the double bed next to her above the covers.

"What are you doing?" she asked while I easily moved her so she was leaning against me with my arm wrapped around her.

"Cooling you down." I said simply.

She seemed too hot to care that I was far too cold than a normal human.

"Thank you." She said, sighing in content once more, snuggling up to my side to cool down her warm body faster.

If this wasn't a huge hint that I was a supernatural being, I didn't know what else would be. Since I was doing that, did it mean I was trying to help her work it out? Why would I be doing that?

After a while she started getting irritated. I wondered what was wrong, but she spoke first.

"Jasper, what's going on?" she asked, annoyed. "The asking for my number, the iPod, the drive home, and now this?"

"I just care about you." I answered, quickly stopping myself before I started stroking her hair.

"I've never had a friend as generous as you." said Tania. "Something's going on."

Well, she had never had a vampire friend before.

"You really want to know?"

She gave me a dark look.

"Ok, well, I like you."

Tania bit her lip to stop herself smiling widely. Her emotions instantly changed - she was happy.

"Yeah?" she asked with the same aggressive tone. "Really?" She paused and then quickly came out with. "Me too."

There was a short silence where Tania tried to take in what I had just said – what I had just admitted.

"So what happens now?" she asked.

I smiled with amusement. "Now, I ask you out on a date."

She giggled, a blush rising in her cheeks. I quickly held my breath, but used the remaining air to ask her. "Tania Carter, would you like to go on a date with me?"

Tania looked up with her now shinning eyes. "I'd love to."

* * *

 

**Tania**

Esme didn't give me a choice if I could go back to school the next day. I knew that I really needed to get back there, otherwise I would become terribly behind. I was younger than everyone there and I'd already taken off three days. I was mostly worried about Drama since I had it that day. I knew my group would kill me when I got back. She wanted me to stay home to make sure I was completely recovered. To my annoyance, so did Carlisle. Esme had to go out that day and Alice joined her, so Carlisle stayed with me since he didn't have to be at the hospital.

David and my mother hadn't got sick from food poisoning. Neither did the rest of the Cullens. It had just been the piece that I'd eaten, unfortunately.

I was sitting at the coffee table in the living room, trying do some English. I knew he had an office so he must have just wanted to keep my company. I looked up curiously every now and then, noticing that he was reading some kind of medical book.

Carlisle seemed like one of those people who were impossibly amazing – one of those people that everyone admired without question. If he was this nice to me – someone he hardly knew – then he must have been a great father.

Trying to shift my thoughts away about fatherhood, I tried to get back to my English essay, but I couldn't think about it anymore. I didn't want to admit it, but Carlisle was distracting me.

Shaking my head, I folded the paper back over where the crease had set. I'd have to write it later.

The Cullens were... strange. They were so different from other people. But they weren't bad different – they were wonderful.

Despite sleeping most of the day before, I was still tired. My feet downright refused to take me back upstairs. I didn't think Carlisle or Esme would mind me falling asleep on the sofa. But I didn't get much of a say in doing so.

My eyes opened to golden ones watching me.

"Do you always come and watch me sleep?" I asked.

"I just walked in and you're already accusing me." Jasper smiled.

I laughed. "You don't have very good timing then."

"Shame it wasn't Emmett."

"Speaking of Emmett..." None other than he walked into the room.

Jasper rolled his eyes. "Yes?" he asked, annoyed.

"Hey – this is a public living room!" exclaimed Emmett, folding his arms.

Jasper ignored him.

"How're you doing, T?" he asked.

I sat up, rubbing my eye. "I'm ok, thanks."

He laughed. "All set for school tomorrow, huh?"

I shuddered.

"Thought not." He moved a little closer to the sofa. "So. Your mum mentioned that you were... What was it Jazz?"

Jasper gave me a sympathetic look. I glanced at him alarmed.

"Queen of Mario Kart?" Emmett smirked. "Right. Sure. Whatever."

I bit my lip, trying to stop myself from speaking, but I couldn't help it. "I'll have you know that I'm unbeatable."

"I wouldn't do that." Said Jasper. "He can get competitive."

"Oh, there's nothing wrong with some healthy competition." I raised my eyebrows and suddenly Emmett had the TV remote in his hand, along with some Wii remotes.

"Bring it." He challenged.

An hour later, I was getting bored.

"Come on, one more game!" cried Emmett.

I groaned. "Can't you just get over the fact that you can't win?"

Emmett gave me a puppy dog eyed look, pleading me to have another game so that he might have the slimmest chance of winning. I had won every single race we'd played. He even changed the settings to make it extra hard, but I still beat him every time. Edward had walked in on us, impressed that someone had actually beaten Emmett at a game for once. It was a bit hard to beat him, but not too hard that it was impossible. In fact, it was fun that there was someone who would play with me. Usually they wouldn't because I was 'The Queen'. My mother had given me the title, and it had stuck.

"No. It's ten. I need to sleep." I stood up. Emmett started playing one player.

"Fine. But tomorrow, I'm going to kill you."

I rolled my eyes, knowing it wouldn't happen, heading upstairs.


	17. Interlude: Slipping

**Jasper**

"You know, it's kind of rude to be talking about her while she's right there." Said Alice motioning to the open door behind her leading to the living room.

Rosalie sighed in frustration. "It's not like she's going to hear us."

Edward rolled his eyes. "She will if you don't keep your hissing to a minimum level."

Rosalie hissed at him, ignoring his statement but still not letting her voice be loud enough for human ears.

As per usual, I kept the peace.

"I knew this was going to happen." Alice spoke.

"Of course you knew." Rosalie muttered coldly. "You are the one who saw it first."

 _Edward don't tell her,_  I thought. Edward didn't look my way, but I was sure he heard me.

Rosalie couldn't know – at least, not yet. If she knew that I was going on a date with a human she would be livid. I didn't care about what she thought, but I cared about what she would do to Tania, especially since she was staying her. I wouldn't be able to leave Rosalie alone with her, not that she ever was or wanted to be.

"Why did she have to stay with us anyway?" asked Rosalie, annoyed. "Why couldn't she just go with some other human family. Or better yet, by herself!"

I kept my mouth shut, trying not to get angry at my adopted sister. Alice glanced at me with anxiety. She knew what would happen, and I wanted to know too.

"Rosalie." Alice warned, giving her a dark look. Edward also looked her way, reading Alice's mind.

But she didn't stop. "Is the little girl too scared to be on her own?" she cooed patronisingly. "She would be  _so_  lonely by herself for a few days."

"Rosalie, that's enough." said Edward. "You know it was up to Esme and Carlisle."

"Oh yes." said Rosalie confidently. "It was such a good idea to let her stay here, where she wouldn't suspect a thing! Isn't that right, Edward?"

Edward glared at her. "We would never tell a human about us. Unlike you, Rose, we like our vampire lives."

She raised her eyebrows. "Really? Well, it wasn't too long ago when Jasper admitted he'd rather be-,"

"Leave it." I cut her off. "You have... no idea." I pushed out the chair a little too hard making it scrape across the kitchen floor.

Rosalie jumped a little in shock and stepped back as I pushed past her, heading for the front door.

"Well done." Alice muttered darkly to her as I slammed the front door.

I had to get away from the house so I ran down to the small river that ran thought the forest. It wasn't really that big of a forest, but still big enough for animals to run around and be eaten without anyone noticing.

I knew I had to protect Tania from the other vampires and creatures out there, but to protect her from my family? It wasn't right for Rosalie to be so against her staying with us. What would she be like when she found out about...  _us_. What would the others say? Maybe I had gone too far to actually like a human. But was it such a bad thing, that Rosalie might never speak to me again? She was talking like Tania shouldn't even exist.

No. It was Rosalie's thoughts. If she didn't think it was right – then who cared? I would still be with Tania as long as she wanted me.

Alice joined me not too long later, sitting beside me on the large rock.

"Edward thinks it's ok." She said smiling reassuringly. "He didn't like the idea so much at first, but he's warming up to it."

I didn't reply. Edward didn't like the idea straight on, but at least he wasn't so against it like Rosalie.

"He finds her thoughts amusing sometimes. That she worries too much about the little things, that she thinks she's not as good as she really is. She doesn't like David, he's her step father by the way-,"

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked, not meaning to be rude, but Rosalie's good manners had affected my emotions thanks to my 'gift'.

"Because it's exactly those thoughts that are saying she needs you, Jasper."

I stayed silent, stunned by Alice's words.

"I know that you would like to be in a relationship, and just because she's human shouldn't stop you. Maybe Rosalie disapproves, but I trust you. I know you won't do anything stupid, and I'm sure Esme and Carlisle think so, too."

Carlisle and Esme – they would surely be behind me no matter what I did if it didn't involve breaking the rules. And Alice would see me if I did anything.

"You know it too, Jasper."

Alice was right, I had been around Tania. I had seen her in pain, and when she was alone. She was... lonely.

"Thanks, Alice." I smiled at her slightly.

She stood up, returning it. "For what?" she asked, before skipping her way between the trees.

* * *

 

**Tania**

Somehow the week passed. Slow as it was, it passed. And by the end I could hardly believe I survived. Just before they let me go, however, Carlisle stopped me at the door.

"I know Jasper's probably already apologised but I thought I also should."

I was slightly taken aback. Apologised for what? Had Jasper done something to me?

"Two months ago when he cornered you in the street. It should never have happened."

I stood there blinking. The blonde hair... the eyes... the cold skin...

When I had been sick, Jasper had had his arm around me. His cold skin...

Was is possible that Jasper wasn't human. He didn't seem normal at all. I knew there was a connection between that incident and Jasper but never had I dared to think that Jasper was that person.

There was no denying it. Jasper's eyes  _had_  changed colour. And his skin. That couldn't be explained.

I nodded. "Yeah, it's fine." I smiled, hoping that he wouldn't realise it was fake.

"Well, goodbye." I said to him and Esme, before leaving to the car waiting outside.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Jasper standing with his arms folded. Come to think of it, he was pale – dead pale.

There was nothing else I could do. I would have to confront him.


	18. Stories

**Tania**

I was walking down the street, trying figure out the best way to confront Jasper. Oh, who was I kidding? How could you tell someone you really like (who also likes you back) that they aren't human? It was impossible... I couldn't just let it slip out. I had to go and see him, and tell him I knew his secret.

But then I saw a flash of honey blonde hair down at the end of the road. Perhaps I wouldn't have to find him.

I ran up to him. "Hey!" I said in a voice that wasn't happy to see him. It was almost annoyed.

He didn't turn around. Instead he continued to walk off the road and onto the grass where trees lined the edge of the town and he disappeared behind them. I followed, persisted to tell him I knew.

He stopped in a small clearing as it started to rain. I didn't care. I needed to know the truth.

"You know." He stated. Even though his voice was quiet I could hear it clearly over the falling raindrops.

I stood motionless as drops of rain soaked my skin and the top layer of my clothes was covered in wet spots. I waited for him to speak.

He turned around to face me. "It wasn't a matter of time before you figured it out."

"You have cold skin. Your eyes change colour. And... you attacked me." I spoke at last. "What are you?"

Jasper watched me, unblinking. "A vampire."

I took a deep steadying breath. Rain was covering us now. Even Jasper was soaked.

"You are cold because no blood runs in your veins."

He nodded once. I wondered if he was even going to tell me. We were, after all, going on a date.

"When you said vegetarian..." I said slowly.

"We choose to drink the blood of animals. It makes us feel less guilt instead of eating humans. It never fully satisfies. Our eyes change depending on what we hunt – golden for animals, red for humans. " He explained. He looked like he was about to take a step closer, but decided against it.

I swallowed. "You attacked me. That was a slip up?"

Jasper nodded gravely. "Yes. You have no idea how sorry I am that happened. I couldn't kill you, and until now I didn't know why."

I paused, remembered the clear events of that night walking home. But in comparison to the other times we had met and talked, even kissed, balanced it out. In fact, it completely wiped out that old memory. It didn't matter anymore. It was a bad experience, and it had to be forgotten. "What was the reason?" I asked, curiously.

Jasper shook his head. "No."

"What's wrong?" My eyes widened. Was he having second thoughts about telling me all about vampires?

He shook his head again. "You should be terrified. But you're not. You're curious. And is that worry for me?" He was speaking in fragments – something I had never heard before.

"I should explain." Jasper continued. "I can feel and manipulate other's emotions."

I blinked a few times, pulling back a strand of wet hair. "Can all vampires do this?"

"No." he said. "It's just me. Sometimes we are given a gift."

Jasper had a gift... Well, of course he did, he deserved to have one.

"There's... there's more?"

He finally came closer to me so we were standing opposite. I was almost his height since the levelling of the ground was different. I felt less intimidated when he wasn't towering over me.

"Our whole family are vampires."

I looked away feeling slightly sick. Jasper was a vampire – all the Cullens were.

"When were you going to tell me this, Jasper?" I asked, sadly. "Was it just going to be a one date thing and then you go off with someone else? I've been messed around by guys before." My eyes began to water.

There was a sudden anger in his eyes, but it quickly blew away. "No, no, it's not like that at all. I would have told you. I just didn't know when."

A lone tear slipped down my cheek, merging with the rain. "Even though you know I might have run, you were still going to tell me?" My voice cracked. "I don't think this human/vampire thing happens a lot, does it?"

"No." said Jasper. "It doesn't."

I looked down at the ground, unable to keep eye contact any longer.

"But, Tania, please listen. I was going to tell you, and I thought that you would run. Even now I thought you would but you didn't. You actually confronted me instead of running away."

I laughed humourlessly.

"You followed me out here into the woods all alone. You knew I was dangerous and still you didn't care."

"I wanted to know the truth." I said bitterly. "I don't like being kept in the dark."

Jasper stopped and I looked up at him. "You want to know the whole truth. The whole story?"

"Yes."

And the whole story, he told me.

* * *

Jasper and I had found some shelter under some branches. We were still getting wet, but it was better than standing out in the open. His story was amazing. I listened intently to everything he had done, everywhere he had been. Because they were vampires they moved around a lot so as to go unnoticed by the public eye. Their most recent residence had been in Alaska and they were probably going to go back to Forks, Washington in America when they had to move again.

When he was finished, he seemed to give me some kind of look – like he was waiting for something. Like he wanted to hear  _my_  story.

"I've told you my story, may I hear yours?" he asked.

I drew my knees to my chest, and began to tell.

* * *

I'd always lived with my mother. We used to live in a small house in a pretty neighborhood. It was nice... peaceful. My father lived with us then, and we had a beautiful white cat called Snowy.

I played with the cat, dangling a piece of wool and it stuck it's paws out trying to catch it. Sometimes she caught it and she'd put it in her mouth and try to walk off with it, only to have it pulled back. I span it in circles and all directions while she chased it happily. I giggled.

Soon, Snowy got tired with playing with the wool and she left upstairs. I sat at the dinning table, drawing something. I heard the deafening thumps of the stairs. It wasn't like footsteps. It was more. I stood up, unsure of what was going on.

Snowy ran into the living room, meowing. I bent down and stroked her, trying to reassure her that everything was all right. After all, it had to be.

I walked slowly into the hallway. My father lay at the bottom of the stairs, unmoving.

"Dad?" I whispered, kneeling down next to him. "Dad!" I screamed. I couldn't stop screaming. He wouldn't open his eyes. He wouldn't wake up.

My mother was in the garden. She heard the screaming and came running. She pulled me away from my father's body at first. She placed two fingers on his neck. She laid her head on his chest, trying to hear for his heart.

I stood behind her, watching.

My mother turned and saw me with tears in her eyes. She opened her arms so I ran up and hugged her. We cried together. I was six.

Snowy ran away the same day my father died. But I later realised that she hadn't run away. She had tripped my dad on the stairs. My mother no longer welcomed her into the house.

Our second house was beside a river. It was just a peaceful as the last, but it was too quiet for my mother, who could still hear my screams.

The third house was in the town. It was noisy with the traffic. We could escape from the noise. And that was when my mother met David. He could take away her pain and she slowly began to leave my father behind. After all, it wasn't like he was a good father to me.

I loved him, because he was my Dad.

When my mother got married, she was happy again. It was like all of the pain was gone, thanks to David. We disapproved of each other, but it didn't matter. My mother needed to be ok.

We moved again to the beach. I made friends and I was happy there. But we moved again to the outskirts of the city and I lost everything.

I hated moving, and starting again. I would usually loose all my old friends and become the "ex-friend" who no one cared about anymore. And then I would be the new girl in some alien place. People weren't accustomed to what I was like. They didn't accept me.

At least they didn't ask about my father, and even if they did I would say he lived somewhere else.

* * *

"Jasper?" I asked listening to the rain on the leaves.

He squeezed my hand. While I had told him my story, our fingers had intertwined together in light comfort.

"I have to visit my father soon. It will be his birthday next week." I explained. "I would like you to meet him." I smiled softly.

"Of course." He replied. "Of course I will come with you."

There was silence again. It was nice – just sitting there with Jasper while the rain surrounded us. It kind of excited me how he was a vampire – he was dangerous. And yet we could sit here so calm.

The rain started to slowly become less heavy enough to get out from hiding under the trees. I stood up, folding my arms because of the cold air.

"I should... go." I said as Jasper watched me.

He stood up too. "Let me walk you home." He offered.

"No... I'll be fine." I smiled. I needed to be by myself for a while. Being with the Cullens had pushed me to my social limit. I was used to being on my own. Although the thought of spending more time with Jasper seemed much more appealing than being by myself.

Just as I started to walk away he called after me. "I'll pick you up tomorrow at eight."

"Ok." I said quietly, stifling a giggle.

As I walked back onto the road, the mud that had gathered on my shoes was washed away by the puddles. I stood completely sodden as the streetlamps began to light. The sky wasn't completely black yet, but it would be soon so I quickened my pace. The water from the puddles began to leak into my shoes, making me colder still.

I didn't even notice as I turned the corner that there were two people standing out of the light in the darkness. I hurried past them. My eyes passed over their scarlet ones without a thought.


	19. Heart

**Tania**

"Hey." yelled one of the two people standing next to the wall.

I ignored them, carrying on my way. I didn't need to get involved. They were hanging around on the street after dark – exactly not who I wanted to make conversation with.

"Hey!" they called again. I quickened my pace.

How familiar this seemed, although at least this time I had some warning before they latched onto my wrist and pulled me backwards.

I sucked in air and hastily snatched back my arm. "Leave me alone!" I hissed, getting irritated by their persistence, even though deep down, I was shaking like a leaf.

As I drew my eyes upwards once more, I made a stupid realisation. They had red eyes - deep, scarlet, blazing red eyes.

I was dead.

As soon as our eyes met, I stepped backwards, and then took a few more steps until I was properly sprinting away. However much I wanted to go home, I couldn't. My mother was there and so was David. I couldn't lead them back to where I lived. My only hope was going back to the Cullen's and I prayed desperately that they would understand. Only the Cullens would be able to help me now.

There was no time to think about going back to where Jasper was in the woods. For all I knew he had run by now and the woods was an even worse environment to run from the vampires – they could come at me in all directions. I wouldn't even have time to see.

The pounding of my heart thumped against my chest with fear. I could barely breath from running, let alone from being scared out of my mind.

I took off around a corner into an alleyway. Leaning flat against the wooden fence I tried not to breathe. The Cullen house wasn't a few roads away then. Maybe they would hear me from there – but then when I thought about it the few roads probably came up to quite a long way away.

My pulse was racing away and I couldn't hold my breath any longer. I needed to feel the air against my aching lungs. Bad move.

My shoes squelched, being full of water and I slid down almost to the floor.  _Almost_. Something was holding me up. I slowly found their face, and it wasn't who I wanted it to be at all.

"I love it when they try to run." He breathed, smirking.

"Me too." A woman appeared from the other side. She had dark beech hair that curled down to her shoulders. Her thin eyebrows made her seem displeased, yet they had caught me.

The male pulled me up and pinned me to the fence, making sure that his hands were pressing against my shoulders.

"Well, when we heard that he had a mate, we never expected this." said the woman, closing in on me. "A weak, pathetic human." She laughed, along with the man.

"Yes, we could kill you in less than a second. Such a shame. A vampire would have been much more fun."

"We should hurry up, Davis." The woman glanced at the entrance to the alley. "If he were to hear us..."

"We will!" he snapped, pressing into my shoulders sharply making me gasp. "I just want to have some fun with her first."

"Damn it! You could hear her heart beat miles away! They will come and find us!"

The woman snarled at him. "Do whatever you want, I am going to get out of here. She'd better be dead, and you'd better come and find me."

She left. I didn't see her leave, despite my unblinking eyes.

I struggled as the man smirked, holding me still against the fence. I sucked in some more air, ready to scream, but I didn't have too.

The man was ripped from me, sending me to the ground. He was thrown onto the wall on the other side of the alley. He, however, quickly jumped to his feet and crouched ready to fight however had pulled him away.

My eyes darted to none other than Jasper. I had never been happier and more relieved to see him standing there.

But the worst was not over yet.

The vampire who was apparently called Davis started to send some blows at Jasper. I knew Jasper's story – he was not a vampire to be messed with. He began to fight the other vampire.

I slowly stood up, my shoulders aching from where Davis had gripped me so hard. I had to get out of the way of the fight.

I watched Jasper fighting Davis. I knew that it probably wouldn't take much longer for him to kill Davis, but he would be reminded of his past life that he had tried to hard to forget. Would that put him off reliving it again? I wasn't sure, but it appeared that Jasper was winning.

He got Davis into a headlock and then I looked away, screwing up my eyes as I heard cracking. I didn't see what happened, but I could tell Davis was dead.

"Pathetic." muttered Jasper. His usual sweet bass voice was replaced with anger and hate.

I couldn't move. I couldn't open my eyes, either.

"Tania?" Jasper asked.

I could feel warmth on my face. He must have set Davis alight – to dispose of the evidence. I let my eyes open and I saw a small fire burning on the ground. I drew my eyes away from it, taking deep steadying breaths. It wasn't like I was hurt.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

Jasper laughed softly. "I am since I got here in time. Did he hurt you?"

I shook my head, trying to swallow the lump in my throat.

"Still don't want me to walk you home?" He came slowly closer to me, almost like he was afraid of scaring me.

I shook my head again, not trusting my voice. Jasper locked his arms tightly around me and pulled me close to him. My body relaxed while I cried silently. Not only had I found out about vampires in one day, I had been attacked by one.

Eventually I started to pull out of the safety reluctantly and Jasper let me go, although kept one arm around me as we started to walk to my house.

My mother was in the dinning room with David having dinner when we got inside. Jasper waited in the hallway so as not to be seen. I walked through to say hello and grab a few snacks telling my mother that I wasn't very hungry.

"Wait here." I told Jasper when we got to the door of my room.

I slipped inside and quickly shoved the clothes I had been wearing the day before at the bottom of the inside of my wardrobe, tidied up the ring binders on my desk and other papers floating around, threw any wrappers into the bin, hid any plates and glasses in my wardrobe and pulled up the covers on my bed. My room looked at least decent then.

He walked in and I shut the door, leaning on the frame awkwardly. "Ok, so I'm gunna have a bath so... there's food... that you don't eat... um... You can use the computer if you want or..."

Jasper smiled and interrupted me. "It's alright. Take as long as you like. I can wait."

I let out a sigh of relief. "Thanks for staying with me." I grabbed some pyjamas and my towel, heading out of the room.

I doubled back. "Oh and thanks for saving my life." I left the room before he could retort, wondering why I had waited until now to thank the person who had just saved me from death.

I didn't quite beat my record of six minutes. I went a little over and ended up taking seventeen. It wasn't my longest time though either. The fact that Jasper was in my room made it pretty hard for me to relax. I wasn't so tense like I had been when Jasper attacked me. I wasn't alone this time. He was there, and he told me he wasn't going to leave until I sent him away, for which I was grateful for.

Looking at myself in the mirror made me wish I had seen what I was taking out of my drawers before I put it on. The spaghetti strap top made my bruising clearly visible. Sighing softly I left back to my room to see Jasper was still sitting on the bed, only this time he was listening to music. As soon as he saw me he took out his headphones while I stumbled tiredly and collapsed on the bed. He smiled sadly as I pulled myself up.

"You said he didn't hurt you." exclaimed Jasper.

"It's not that bad." I murmured. "You stopped him before he did any real damage."

Jasper put his arm around me. I snuggled closer to his side.

"I won't let another nomad get that close to you again." He said defiantly.

Jasper didn't need to be warm. His words were enough to stop me getting cold.

We simply lay and talked for a long time. Every now and then I asked what the time was and it got late fast. At 2am I could barely keep my eyes open.

"Maybe you should go? I mean you won't have anything to do while I sleep." I muttered tiredly.

"In case you've forgotten, isn't it a regular thing for me to watch you sleep?" he replied, amused.

I smiled. "Then do whatever makes you happy."

* * *

 

**Jasper**

As soon as I let Tania go I knew I had made a horrible mistake. I didn't know why, but I knew I should have insisted she let me walk her home. I began to walk away, convinced that I was just being paranoid since Tania was very breakable as a human. Anything could happen to her. It was getting dark. There could be humans lurking around in the shadows.

That was it – I had to go and make sure she would be ok. If she didn't want me to walk her home... then I could just listen... or watch from the distance.

I walked from the forest back onto the road. It was unusually quiet. Surely Tania couldn't have walked so far in so little time. I couldn't even hear her footsteps, let alone her breathing or heart rate. The rain covered roads should have made it even louder.

Starting on the way to her house, I couldn't hear her at all. She wasn't anywhere around, which concerned me greatly. Where had she gone?

It was only then did the panicked emotions hit me – hard. It was Tania. She was in trouble.

I didn't even think before I began to tear across the roads faster than I had ever even chased an animal on the hunt. I had to save her – whatever was going on.

Irritation? Annoyance? These were from others. Oh god – what were they doing to her?

The drumming of Tania's heart sent me even more on edge as I chased after what was attacking her. I could smell the vampires and I knew what they were going to do to her – they were going to do exactly what I feared the most.

I barely saw her terrified expression as I pulled the vampire off her who had been pinning her against the wall. I tried not to let her emotions mix in with my anger at the creature. We were both vampires – but he was the animal.

I tore him limb from limb with Tania standing too close to us for my liking. I had never wanted her to see things like this, but it was much too late now. I didn't want to manipulate her emotions, but it was somewhat necessary in times like that.

The vampire slowly melted into ashes.

"Pathetic."

I turned to Tania's frightened and awkward form. She had her eyes tightly shut so she wouldn't have to see the other vampire's death. She could probably feel the warmth from the flames. She at least knew it was over... but I still needed to make sure she was alright.

Tania simply stood there, as if she was still waiting for me to finish. "Tania?" I asked gently.

She opened her eyes and centred in on the fire on the ground. I wanted to take a step closer, but I wasn't sure if it would out her more on edge because I was a vampire too, and just hours ago she had discovered that.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

I couldn't help but laugh. She was the one who had been attacked, and she was asking me if I was alright? The guy may have been a bit more experienced than I had first thought, but he was gone now. Vampires couldn't really get hurt either – apart from thirst which I had made sure not to tell her. If she knew she was hurting me...

"I am since I got here in time. Did he hurt you?" That was the real question. Tania was the breakable human – she was more likely to get hurt. And he had been advancing on her. I knew what it looked like before a vampire was going to eat a human – I used to.

She shook her head. Her expression was no longer fearful – she felt like she was going to cry.

"Still don't want me to walk you home?" I started to move closer. I desired to hold her in my arms, to tell her everything was fine now. Tania needed me to.

She shook her head again. I hadn't been too interested in humans before, but I did know that when they were about to cry they avoided talking. Not to mention, the amount of emotion she was showing and giving off made it obvious.

And then I was right in front of her, wrapping my arms around her without hesitation. I could feel the strong burn of thirst but didn't care. It was only Tania who I could care about then.

I held her close to me, being careful not to let myself be too tight but tight enough for her to feel secure. She needed to know that I wouldn't let anyone hurt her or get that close again.

Slowly Tania sunk into the embrace with the help of my power. She wouldn't know that I had used it on her. I could smell the salt from her tears and hear her irregular breathing, strained from trying not to make a sound. I hated myself for not catching the nomad before he got a chance to catch her. Tania shouldn't have been put into this position again. I had already hurt her once not so long ago, and then to have it happen again...

I knew what had happened last time, and I wouldn't leave her alone. Before when it had been me, she had still needed me.

She hesitantly pulled away from me so I let her go, although I still kept an arm around her. She would want to go back to her house. It would be safer there.

"I swear to you, that will never happen again." I told her. "I won't let any other nomads get close to you."

She nodded as we began to walk. She still couldn't speak yet.

"I'll stay until you don't want me anymore."

The sounds of Tania with her family would have made me smile if I wasn't so concerned about her.

"That's ok, I'm not hungry." She wasn't hungry? After all of that she needed to eat, didn't she? The last time when she had come back from something like this... she couldn't get enough comfort food.

Although, the last time no one had saved her.

When she came back, she took my hand and we ended up outside her bedroom door.

"Wait here."

She made sure to only open the door a crack for her to get inside and then I heard her throw a few paper and clothes around, as well as some plates and cups. I had to smirk then – she hadn't prepared for me to have been there and so it was a mess.

Tania came back out and invited me inside. "Ok, so I'm gunna have a bath so... there's food... that you don't eat... um... You can use the computer if you want or..."

"It's alright. Take as long as you like. I can wait." I could wait years for her...

She sighed, relieved that I wasn't going to leave, even though I had already told her I would stay as long as she wanted. "Thanks for staying with me."

Tania left the room and then she changed her mind and came back. "Oh and thanks for saving my life."

I was about to say it was nothing and that I would do anything to keep her safe, but she left again.

Her room was different then last time. There were quite a few books, papers and folders stacked up on her desk. I sat on her bed – not that I needed to – and listened to music, trying to drown out the sounds of Tania in the bathroom. It made me feel like I was invading her privacy.

My phone buzzed – it was Alice.

"I was going to tell you, but I saw you get there in time."

"In time? She is hardly alright, Alice. I don't think I was fast enough."

"Yes you were," she said sternly. "You were brilliant, Jazz. She's going to be fine. Quite sweet actually..."

I rolled my eyes. "Ok, Alice." I hung up, knowing she would see it anyway.

Tania came back. She had lied – she had been hurt. She had bruises on her shoulders. She lay down on the bed, next to me, exhausted.

"You said he didn't hurt you." I pointed out, wondering what her reaction would be. She seemed out of it – in a daze.

"It's not that bad." She murmured. "You stopped him before he did any real damage." I wanted to believe her but it wasn't easy.

She snuggled up closer to me so I placed my arm around her for comfort.

"I won't let another nomad get that close to you again." I said again. I wanted to make sure she understood that.

"I know." She breathed. "Thank you."

Time passed while we talked about nothing in particular. Random subjects came up. She seemed to be avoiding talking about vampires. She didn't ask anything else about them. I made her eat the little 'food' that she had bought up, but she was so tired she barely noticed or put up any fights. However, she was aware that time was passing and kept asking what the time was, despite the clock next to the bed.

"Maybe you should go? I mean you won't have anything to do while I sleep." She mumbled.

"In case you've forgotten, isn't it a regular thing for me to watch you sleep?" I stoked her soft hair that had dried into light waves.

She smiled, tiredly. "Then do whatever makes you happy."

Tania closed her eyes as sleep came to her peacefully. She wasn't quite unconscious yet, though.

"Tania?" I whispered.

She kept her eyes shut, but hummed softly.

"I love you." I had never been so sure about something in my whole life as a vampire – even as a human, probably. Some part of me always knew that my heart belonged to Tania.

Tania hummed again and smiled. "Love you... too." She tried to get as close to me as she could, happier than she ever had been since I met her. Happier than the kiss... happier than the gift. A tear slid down her cheek, as she finally fell into dreams.


	20. More Messes

**Tania**

Waking up was so easy. It felt like I had slept so long – long enough to satisfy both my physical needs and my desire. It had been so long since I had slept like that – and I knew how it was different.

My warm duvet was wrapped around me – the soft material brushed against my skin as I moved slightly. I could feel the coldness of Jasper lying next to me, his hand rested on my back.

I opened my eyes slowly to see him watching me with a smile.

"Good morning." He murmured.

I smiled back. "Morning," I replied, smilng.

He held me for a while and we lay in silence. I listened to his breathing, as he listened to mine.

"You stayed." I exclaimed after a minute.

"You didn't kick me out, so yes, I stayed." He replied, amused.

"Hmm," I hummed sleepily.

I wanted to feel like this forever – forever and ever... and Jasper was immortal? Why not? I couldn't believe that it had taken me that long to realise that I was in love with Jasper. I just wanted to tell everyone that we were in love – everyone in the world.

"I love your emotions." He said, stroking my hair.

"I love  _you_." I replied, before letting out small giggles.

"I love you." said Jasper, lowering his face to mine.

I stared up into his golden eyes, somehow knowing what I was doing. He delicately brought his lips to mine. I kissed him back, only wanting more now that we were so close. My hands moved up and I found myself running them through his soft, wavy hair.

He suddenly pulled away forcibly – his eyes pitch black. I held my breath and he looked away. Maybe it wasn't so perfect anymore... When he looked back, his eyes had become the golden glow they had been before; however they contained a darker edge to them.

"I'm sorry." I said, sitting up in bed. "I didn't mean-"

"It's fine." Jasper told me. "You just make me so thirsty. I've not hunted for two days. I have to make sacrifices, sometimes."

"Is it like that for all vampires?" I asked, worriedly.

"Mostly newborns and... others who prefer to have a... different diet."

I watched him. I knew what he was talking about... and I didn't say anything. The last thing I wanted to do was remind him of his dramatic past.

"So I was planning to do some stuff today..." I changed the subject. "You could go hunting."

"Unless this is you kicking me out, I think I should be okay for another few hours." Jasper smiled.

I giggled. "Well, if you can handle it then..." I stood up, sliding out from underneath the covers. "You should go and come back... I don't think my mum or David will be too pleased with you. Sorry."

Jasper was silent for a moment and then he laughed.

"What's so funny?" I demanded.

"Sorry. It's just that hanging around you so much makes me feel human again. I haven't acted so... in a while."

"And human is good?"

"Human is good." He replied.

We stood for a minute, holding each other's hands before I got playfully irritated.

"Kay. Go." I said, pushing him towards the open window.

"Guests should really get to use the door-," he started.

I pushed harder, "Jazz, get out!" I giggled.

"I'm going!" Jasper moaned, climbing out of the window. He turned to me, sitting on the ledge. "Good bye kiss?"

"Jazz!" I cried.

"Okay, okay!" he jumped down to the back garden and started running at human pace.

I watched him, leaning my head on my arms on the window sill, still smiling. I expected him not to take very long, so after giggling again, I turned to my wardrobe and started to get some clothes to wear.

I was right – it wasn't long until Jasper did get to the door. I answered it. He had changed clothes too. A different shirt and jeans – no doubt bought by Alice since the simple clothing just  _looked_  expensive. I inwardly shuddered wondering what kind of branding they were.

"So what kind of  _stuff_  were you going to do today?" he asked. His eyes seemed a little brighter – perhaps he had seen something on the way over.

For some reason I was okay with it. At least it wasn't humans.

I was about to answer when my mother walked past carrying a tin of paint.

"Ohh, you got your friend to help, Tania? Perfect." She put down the tin of paint in the hallway.

"Decorating."

After I had forbidden him to go at super speed to avoid suspicion (although Jasper still painted slightly faster than normal), my room was about halfway through in mid afternoon.

Jasper had his back to me and I glanced at him, smirking, before sending some paint his way. He turned around just as it hit his shirt. Well, the Cullens had endless amounts of money anyway...

He raised an eyebrow at me and was too fast for me to be able to move out the way in time. My top, too, was ruined with white paint.

I narrowed my eyes and dipped the roller into some more paint. Yep. I got his hair.

In less than five minute my carpet had spots of white all over it, and I didn't look that good either.

Deciding that Jasper wasn't covered in enough, I lifted the almost empty tin of paint. The contents spilled right over towards Jasper, who moved out the way just in time. The door opened and the victim of my paint throw wasn't Jasper – instead it was David coming in with two mugs in his hands.

My eyes widened in horror as paint dripped from his face, into the mugs and onto the floor.

Ahh... crap.

"Sorry... you're not a wall. Sorry!" I cried.

David glared at me, livid. I put my paint covered hand to my mouth and then removed it quickly.

"Tania." He said furiously. "Twenty pounds a tin. Do you have that money?"

I bit my lip. "I...um..."

"And I think the carpets will need replacing too." His voice was rising.

"I'm sorry! I didn't know it would..."

"Tania – We don't have this kind of money to be throwing paint around! How could you be so stupid and immature! I can't believe you would do this. You thought it would be funny, huh? Congratulations. I am entertained."

"It's okay." said Jasper, coming to my side. "I can pay for it. It's no problem. I started it."

I glanced at Jasper, worried. I didn't want him to take the blame for something I had done. It wasn't right.

David narrowed his eyes at me, disbelievingly. He knew that I had started it and there was something going on. "I would have thought that your guardians would have raised you to have better respect." He said coldly to him. He walked forwards towards Jasper, and even though he was shorter, he glared up at him.

"Well, sir, I'm sorry." Jasper replied, with his hands behind his back. There was nothing about him that suggested fear. Although, why would there be? David should be the one who was scared.

Finally accepting it, David gave me one last look before heading out of the room.

I let out a sigh of relief. "Oh my goodness...  _Thank_  you!" I cried, wrapping my arms around Jasper's neck and kissing him.

"It's fine... That was partly my fault anyway." He replied pulling out of the embrace.

"David does scare me sometimes." I smiled sheepishly. "It's stupid."

"It's not stupid – he is mean to you. It's like he doesn't care for you at all."

I hugged him again.

"I'm sorry." said Jasper. "I can't stand how he treats you – that's all."

"I don't like him either." I mumbled. "But my mum does. So I just have to bear his... ways."

He smiled sympathetically. "Why don't you talk to her?" he asked.

I shrugged. "She knows."

* * *

 

**Jasper**

I really wasn't happy that Tania could just accept the way that David treated her. He was supposed to be acting as a father figure to her, and the way he acted was as if he took everything for granted. He didn't even seem to care in the slightest. I knew I had to do something so I devised a plan.

I asked Alice if she could ask Tania to go to the cinema with her on Sunday to which Tania accepted. While she was there I had decided to pay her step father a visit.

David answered the front door. "Ah, here to pay that money you owe me?" he asked, bluntly.

"Yes, sir." I answered, having had it ready to hand over.

"Thanks." He pocketed it. "Well, Tania's not here, she's gone out to the cinema with your sister. I thought you'd know…" He began to close the door.

I put my hand on it, keeping him from shutting it and for a moment he looked alarmed. I could feel that he was surprised by my strength. "Actually,  _sir_ ," I said. "I was hoping that I could have a word with you."

"I-," he hesitated, probably wondering if he should be wasting his time with me. "Sure." He opened the door fully.

I shot him a small smirk, before walking into the hallway. David went ahead to the living room where he sat down, grabbing the TV remote to turn off the TV.

"It's about Tania." I started.

"What, you got girl issues or something because I don't think I can-,"

I cut him off. "No, not exactly."


	21. Hurt

**Jasper**

I was waiting outside Drama the next day at school like I usually did on a Monday. Although, time slowly began to pass by. After about two minutes of extra waiting Alice sent me a text confirming my thoughts that she had missed the bus. That meant she was going to be ten minutes later than normal but she could still make it to the class.

I had wanted to give her a ride, but the night before she hadn't replied to my text asking her, which was odd but perhaps her phone had just died and she forgot to charge it… or something like that.

"Hey, Jasper!" A voice that didn't belong to Tania made itself know. It was Anna.

I gave her a smile. "Hi, Anna."

"You seem happy today. Waiting for T?" she asked.

"Yes." I replied. "Have you seen her?"

"Nay." She adjusted the strap on her bag. "Oh, by the way, I spoke to Mr Gates on Friday and he's gunna set us an essay today. Totally lame, right?"

"Uh…" I was about to try and think of a response to what she said, but then I spotted Tania walking towards me. Her hair messily waved around her face like she had angrily brushed it half an hour or so ago, and she was frowning. I could feel how irritated she was from there, and I wanted to blame it on the fact she missed the bus, except something told me that wasn't the reason why she was angry.

I watched her march up to me. "You're upset with me." Was all I could find myself saying, despite me wanting to ask her why.

"No shit, Sherlock." She glared up at me.

A strand of her hair moved across her face and for the first time I noticed it, and I wanted to hit myself for not noticing before. A horrible blue and purple bruise which she had attempted to hide with her hair covered part of her right cheek. I was taller than her though, so it had shown when she looked up.

I moved my hands from behind my back.

"Tania, what-,"

She cut me off. "I can't believe you, Jasper."

"Uh, oh." Anna mumbled, shrinking away into the class.

"What happened to you?" I asked her urgently.

"Oh, you mean this?" She pointed to the bruise. "You did. You did this." She ran a hand through her hair on that side, trying to cover it up again. "I can't believe you went behind my back and talked to David like that."

"Tania, I was only trying to help." I started, weakly.

"Help?" she scoffed. "Oh yeah, this helped me  _so_  much. Things were fine how they were, why did you have to go and mess it up like that?"

I didn't know what to say. "I thought I could get him off your back."

"You don't get do you?" Tears began to well up in her eyes. "We haven't known each other for long. Only a few months. But I've had to live with him for years! And I might not like him but my mum loves him and he makes her happy! Why don't you understand?"

"But he shouldn't-,"

"Why couldn't you just leave it alone?" A tear slid down her cheek.

I reached out to her, wanting to wipe it away. "Tania, I-,"

She pushed my hand away. "You know what? Don't bother, ok? Next time just butt out!" She began to walk away.

"Tania, wait! I'm sorry!" She ignored me. "Tania!"

I hardly paid attention to Craig and Jason walking past, sniggering. I started going after Tania. I had to explain to her. She had to understand what had really happened… I hadn't meant for her to get hurt at all. Everything wasn't going how I planned it at all.

"Tania!" I called her name again, jogging after her.

She whirled around. "Jasper, just leave me alone!" She cried, quickening her pace.

I stopped, thinking maybe I should just let her calm down. I could have done it myself, but that was just wrong. Besides, it looked like I had already done enough damage. She needed her space.

Miserably, I set back to going into the class behind Jason and Craig, who were glancing at me and trying to laugh discreetly. Great. I had upset Tania, and it was blatantly obvious David had hit her. I didn't even know what else he was going to do. Hit her more? Had he threatened her? My hands curled into fists. I couldn't bear watching her go through that. Just thinking about the bruise was angering me.

I probably shouldn't have gone to class.

When I got inside and sat down Anna gave me an awkward glance, shifting in her seat. I sat down next to her, keeping my distance from Craig and Jason. When Mr Gates started going through the register there was a horrible silence when he got to her name and Jason began to open his mouth.

I shot him a very dark look and as soon as he saw my expression he didn't say a word.

When he let us get to work, we went into another room for some privacy from the rest of the class and Amber was the one who bought her up, asking if we knew where she was because there had been so many days she hadn't turned up. Anna broke it to her in a hushed whisper, hoping that I wouldn't hear.

Craig and Jason simply laughed.

"That really didn't go well did it, dude?" Craig said as if he knew everything about women.

"Yeah, bro, maybe you should let us teach you a thing or two about girls?" Jason smiled.

Somehow, I wasn't really certain, but in the next second Jason's back slammed against the wall. He was no longer laughing, instead, he was clawing at the hand around his throat. My hand. "You don't know anything." I snarled.

"What are you doing?" cried Anna.

Craig was behind me, trying to pull me off but the pathetic human was too weak.

"You're an idiot, Jason, and I've wanted to do this for a long time." I growled, staring directly at his throat. He was squirming under my grip, choking for air.

Amber screamed.

Suddenly I realised what I was doing, what I was about to do. I unclasped my fingers from around his throat. Jason fell to the floor, coughing and trying to breathe. I just stood there, shocked at how quickly I had lost control like that. How easy it would have been for me to jeopardise everything. I hadn't killed a human in a long time, and I very nearly had. Everything that Esme and Carlisle had built up there would have been shattered.

And Tania. I would never see her again.

"I'm sorry." I choked out.

I looked around at the others. Anna was bent down to Jason on the floor, trying to help him up. Amber was staring at me, horrified , looking like she was about to throw up.

Craig looked at me and started helping Jason up with Anna. "You're crazy." He said. "Freak."

"I- I didn't mean to-," How could I even explain what had just happened?

There wasn't anything I could do. I snatched my bag from the floor and ran from the room. It was probably for the best.

* * *

 

I ran home. Tania would still be upset with me and I had no idea where she was, there wouldn't have been any point in trying to find her.

Alice met me halfway in the forest.

"Jasper, I'm so sorry." She said, sympathetically, heading towards me.

"Why didn't you warn me Alice?" I shouted at her.

"I wanted to but there wasn't enough time. I didn't see-,"

I began to pace, impatiently. "I don't even know where she is…"

"Jason isn't going to tell anybody. You pretty much scared all of them. It's ok." Alice tried to reassure me.

"Ok?" I repeated. "None of this is ok… I hurt her again, Alice. I just keep hurting her. And now Jason." I punched a tree, cracking the bark.

"Will you calm down?" she approached me. "You can fix this."

"Maybe I should just leave her alone." I muttered, trying not to listen to Alice's protests as I ran off into the woods.


	22. Call

**Tania**

The short bust of sunlight that morning was already wearing off as some clouds began to cover up the sky. I knew I was walking away from the only reason why I had come into school that morning and it had really pissed me off. I had overslept and missed my bus for nothing. All I got out of it was a couple of angry comments thrown Jasper's way and he didn't even yell back at me.

Screw him.

He should have shouted at me. That's how it should have been. He should have just argued with me instead of trying to reason with me in my state of rage. Then I wouldn't have to deal with the freaking guilt.

No, I shouldn't feel guilty. If it wasn't for him, David wouldn't have hit me, multiple times, taken away my phone and computer, and ordered me around like I was some kind of animal. He should have known that it wasn't his place to talk to David and he should have known better. He was meant to be hundreds of years old… he should know that stuff.

I walked across the school, not entirely sure where I was headed. I could go hang around the common room but then I didn't want to be around people. I could leave but where would I go? Home? David was at work but my mother would be there and she'd want to know why I wasn't at school.

My feet took me away from the school and down the road towards the town and so I decided that it would probably be for the best. Perhaps I could go check out the library and try to forget everything within a book. It would definitely be quiet there… However that still didn't feel like somewhere I wanted to go. The only place I really wanted to go was home and with my mother around that was not really a viable option.

I frowned, dragging my shoes on the pavement. This was stupid. I turned a corner and ended up walking down a few more roads, and caught sight of the Ali and Ro's sign across the street. I couldn't remember if Alice ran the shop on a Monday morning and I couldn't be sure if Esme was in there either so I doubled back and was planning to go another way.

Luckily, though, I saw Alice walking towards me on the other side of the road. Suddenly I became aware of the dried tears on my cheeks and wiped my hand across them.

"Tania, I'm so sorry!" she burst out, crossing the road. "I should have seen it…"

"It's ok, Alice." I found myself saying hoarsely.

She shook her head. "No, I saw glimpses but everything has just been so muddled recently… a nomad's in town and Jaz-"

I started to tear up again as my eyes began to water at the sound of his name.

"No, sorry, not gunna talk about that." Alice said quickly. "There is something you should know though."

I swallowed. "What?"

"He's taken off. Just now, he'll come back soon though, and there's something else as well-,"

I cut her off. "Don't tell me, Ali." I looked down. "I don't want to hear about it right now."

She watched me, sadly. I wanted her to know it wasn't her fault. Even though she could tell the future it wasn't her fault… relying on someone to predict what was going to happen was wrong and idiotic.

"Don't blame yourself, it's not your fault, it's Jasper's. And mine. I should have made it clear he shouldn't have said anything to David." I told her.

She hugged me tightly. "I know everything's looking a bit shit right now, but look at the bright side," she murmured. "It can't get much worse than this. Unless of course, the nomad somehow eats you, which we won't let happen."

I laughed half-heartedly. "Thanks, Alice."

She pulled away. "So, do you want to go and get a drink or something? Coke?"

* * *

I was home a little earlier than the normal time I'd get back, but when I glanced through the kitchen window my mother was in the garden, reading. Sighing, I made my way up the stairs and threw my bag on the floor of my bedroom. I took a moment to linger in the doorway of my mother's and David's room to stare longingly at the wardrobe where I knew David had held hostage my computer tower at the back. He'd gratefully left the screen, keyboard and mouse in my room. I had half an essay on there…

With nothing else to do, I thought about doing some homework for less than a minute before giving in to just lying on my bed listening to music. However as soon as I got the ipod from my bag I realised I still had Jasper's. I launched it across the room where it hit the wall, leaving a small mark in the paint and falling on the floor. The paint that Jasper and I had-

I left the room, slamming the door behind me. It was just full of memories. I ripped some toilet paper off the roll in the bathroom to wipe the never-ending tears streaking from my eyes. If I had my phone I probably would have called him by now. And then I thought maybe I should go and find him but of course, he had taken off for now.

He had wanted what was best for me, though, but he'd taken it too far. Plus if David ever knew what was going on between us he would definitely try to make my life worse. Why couldn't David just piss off? Seriously?

Going back to my room, I retrieved Jasper's ipod from the floor. There was a scratch where it had hit the wall which I stroked my finger across as if I could somehow make the scratch disappear. When it didn't I felt like I was going to cry again, however I contained myself.

I couldn't remember his number. I couldn't remember anyone's number – that's why I had them in the contacts of my phone, and I had no idea where David was keeping that, otherwise I would just use the house phone. Perhaps he would be willing to bargain.

So all I could do was wait till he got home from work. Surely he would let me at least one phone call. After all, my mother could be lied to like this…

I didn't know how long I could go without talking to Jasper and after one day I already couldn't stand it. It would be alright if we were still talking – but after what happened… I had to tell him I still loved him and none of that stuff mattered about David. I was just mad, that was all!

Finally, after staring at my English notes without reading them for an hour, I heard the front door open and I was flying down the stairs.

I gave him a puppy dog look. "Please let me have my phone back." I begged. "Just for one phone call."

He gave me a dark look. "No." he said bluntly. "Not until I decide."

"You can't do this to me. Please!" I cried.

David pointed at me threateningly, so suddenly, I flinched. "No, Tania, now go and help your mother with dinner."

I didn't want to get him angry again like the night before so I did what he said. My mother was surprised, but glad, laid the table with me.

* * *

A couple of hours later, my mother and David had gone to bed early. Still full of determination to get my phone back, I stared at the ceiling while lying on my bed, glancing at the time every now and then. I'd looked around the house before David got home and couldn't find my phone anywhere so I assumed it was in his brief case downstairs. If I was quiet, I could get it.

Still in my day clothes, I snuck downstairs wearily in the dark, in search for the case. Except for some reason when I got to the bottom of the stairs there was a wet patch on the carpet. Irritated that my sock was wet for some unknown reason, I carried on, blindly finding my way through the darkness.

I put my hand on the wall which had a wet patch on it as well. Gasping, I pulled my hand away, rubbing my hand on my clothes and then sniffing my fingers, wondering what the hell it was.

Alcohol?

And then then the whole hallway lit up in flames.


	23. Fire

**Tania**

Everything seemed to happen so fast. Fire quickly engulfed the furniture, licking at the freshly decorated walls. The air quickly clouded with thick, black smoke, eating away at the oxygen. I could hear the crackling of the flames, but there was something missing… why hadn't the alarms gone off?

This wasn't an accident. This wasn't a fire that happened because someone left something in the oven. Someone had broken in and caused this.

But that didn't matter to me right now. What mattered was finding my mother and David and getting out of there.

The fire was doing its work quickly. I needed to get back upstairs. I tried to keep calm but I was already drenched in sweat. I whirled around, trying to get back to the stairs just as a cupboard fell down, blocking my path.

Hurriedly, I took off my jacket to put on top of it so I could step over without gaining a burn. Reaching the stairs, I was already in a coughing fit. At the top I caught sight of my mother and David. I tried to call out to them, however whenever I took a breath to speak all I got was smoke.

Suddenly there was a loud crash in one of the other rooms, I didn't know which, and then through the smoke, my mother was tumbling horribly down the stairs. A sickening crack was heard. I screamed. Somewhere in the distance I could hear sirens over the sounds of the house being destroyed.

I moved across the floor to the form of my mother lying in a heap at the bottom of the stairs, coughing violently. David came down the stairs and began to pull me away from her. I couldn't leave her there. Why didn't he understand? I didn't even know if she was still alive. I screamed again. No… not her, not my mother.

"WE HAVE TO GO!" he yelled at me.

I was too weak to push him away. He dragged me to the front door which he kicked open, before pulling me onto the street.

The cool night air hit my skin like a brick wall. I still couldn't breathe.

I caught a glimpse of a crowd that had gathered outside the house, watching with faces of horror and pity. No one I knew was standing there.

David let me go and I was tripping over my feet. Some firemen past me and I knew there was nothing I could do. They'd get her. She was fine, she had to be ok.

My feet carried me to the pavement and eventually fell over, scraping my hands on the ground, however I was more concerned with the fact that I was still unable to stop coughing. I managed to get to my feet again, even though I was more comfortable on the ground since it wasn't spinning so much down there, when a pair of hands were on my arms, guiding me to the back of an ambulance.

Promptly a mask was pressed to my face which seemed help making breathing a whole lot easier. They checked me over.

A black car pulled up and in the next moment none other than Jasper was running towards me. "Tania, I'm so-,"

I cut him off. "I don't care. I don't care." I croaked pathetically.

He wrapped his arms around me, tightly, before sitting down beside me, pulling me close so I could lean on him, tucking my head under his chin. "Are you ok?" he asked me. "I should have been here. I should've…"

"There wasn't anything you could've done." I whispered. "It's… fire."

"It was her." said Jasper, bitterly. "It was that nomad bitch… The others are trying to find her right now. It was a last minute decision, that's why Alice didn't see it. She knows about us, but why she wants to hurt you…"

I started to sob. "My mum… my mum fell down the stairs."

"Shh, your mum's going to be fine, I promise, Tania." He told me, stroking my damp hair. "It's gunna be ok."

I watched as the firemen tried to put out the fire. I'd lost everything. Everything I had was in that fire. What did I have left? The clothes I was wearing… was that it? All my books, photos, DVDs, even my computer… it was all gone. And I had little in my savings which was supposed to replace it? There were files on my computer I could never get back. Ever. Pictures of my old friends that even they didn't have. Pictures of my father. And my father's jacket tucked away in a cardboard box at the back of my wardrobe.

"Tania." Carlisle.

I tore my eyes away from the house. I hadn't seen the second car pull up. How long had he been here?

"What's happening to her mother?" Jasper asked for me.

"They've taken her to the hospital and your step father has gone with her." Carlisle told me, gently turning my hands over to examine where I'd scraped them.

Jasper quickly turned his head away, holding his breath.

"Jasper?" Carlisle watched him in concern, unblinkingly.

"I'm fine." He replied with a frustrated edge to his tone of voice. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Yes, I'm sure."

"Alright." He looked back at my hands. "You'll be fine." He said. "They'll heal in a few days. You don't have any other injuries?"

I shook my head.

"Miss Carter?"

It was the police officer. The one who had sent me home all those months ago. That day suddenly seemed so far away. Jasper's arm around me became tighter, still.

The woman was not irritated like before, though. She stared at me, sympathetically, her features softened. "I'm very sorry for what happened, but I'd like to ask you a few questions if you don't mind?"

I swallowed. "Sure." I mumbled.

I told her everything. How I found the alcoholic substance downstairs, and how the whole house suddenly burst into flames. At at the part with the stairs I tore up some more, trying to tell her in a hardly coherent explanation. But I had to tell her. Even though I knew the person responsible would never get caught, I had to tell her. After checking that I had somewhere to stay, she left.

Gradually the fire was being put out, however it didn't matter if it was still in flames or not. Everything had been destroyed.

"I need to go to the hospital." I said at last, wiping away the tears from my face.

"Maybe it's better if-," Carlisle began.

"Carlisle," Jasper cut in. "Trust me. She has to."

I hoped Jasper felt my gratitude. He knew more than anyone I had to go.

"Very well." Carlisle sighed.

Jasper smiled at me slightly, before getting to his feet. I stiffly slid off the ambulance. It was like I had forgotten how to walk. Numbly, I held on to him and wouldn't let go. I tried to stop, to stare at the ruins of my home, but he managed to pull me away. I let him.

The drive seemed to go on forever. At every light I wanted to scream.

When we finally got to the hospital I clung to Jasper's hand like a child. And then there was the waiting room.

David was already in there. He sat in the corner with his head in his hands. I was sure he wasn't crying, though. There was another guy in there with a woman, but they left after about ten minutes. I glanced at the clock, seeing it had just gone midnight. My eyes found a vending machine opposite David.

I turned to Jasper, who was sitting next to me, still holding my hand. "Do you have any change?" I murmured. "I don't… I don't have any money on me."

"Yeah." He replied, fishing a hand in his pocket.

I started to get up, but he pulled me back. "No don't, coke right?" he asked.

"Please?" I asked.

There was the loud drop of the bottle in the machine and David finally moved his head back up, as if he'd suddenly snapped out of something.

"Cullen." He said. He hadn't noticed us walk in before.

Jasper walked back towards me and handed me the drink. "Hale, actually, sir." He replied politely.

David glared at him. "I ought to tell you to get the hell out of here and leave my family alone." He snarled.

There was a large amount of tension in the room in the space between the both of them. Although then his expression softened. "But I won't. For now."

I let out the breath I had been holding. I couldn't handle Jasper and David getting into a fight right then.

Once again there was silence apart from the hissing of bubbles whenever I took a sip of coke. Finally, Carlisle walked in.

David stood up. "Well?"

"Her leg's been set and she's sedated right now. She probably won't wake up till tomorrow." He exclaimed. "But she's going to be fine."

I sighed in relief, shutting my eyes for a few seconds.

"Mr Carter, your step-daughter is very welcome to stay with us for as long as necessary. And if you can't-,"

"Thanks, I guess. I have a friend near-by. Tania can but quite a handful though, so…" David began to bring out some notes to give to him.

Carlisle shook his head. "It's not trouble, really. I don't want your money."

David turned to me, looking like he was about to say something. He opened his mouth and then shut it with a sigh. He walked out.

"Tania," Carlisle said, gently. "You can see her now, if you want to."

I paused for a minute, chewing my lip. Could I really do this to myself?

Yes.

"Ok." I sniffed.


	24. Guilty

**Jasper**

I'd never wanted human blood so much before in years. However there was nothing I could do. I knew I couldn't leave her, not then, and I had no idea how long it would be until I'd be able to. Perhaps in the morning, but maybe not even then. Tania's hands were covered for now. At least I wouldn't try to eat  _her_. But there was blood all around me. Everywhere. I was bathing in the stench of it. Clinging to me. Taunting me. How easy it would be to just sneak into one of the rooms and devour someone's throat without anyone realising. I'd be so fast… so efficient…

The only thing holding me back was all of the emotions from Tania the consequences. No, if I was going to kill I'd have to leave her and that wasn't an option. I tried to pretend it wasn't getting to me, and she probably would have been more observant if she hadn't been stressing over her mother.

David was getting angry with me. So I manipulated his emotions… slightly. Just so that he wouldn't upset Tania even more. She didn't need to be fought over after what she'd been through. I hoped it wasn't very noticeable.

Carlisle was really unhappy and anxious about Tania seeing her mother. That meant it had to be bad. Worse than what he had made it out to be.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I asked her. "We can come back in the morning." I'd definitely need to hunt in the morning if it came down to that.

She stood up. "Yeah."

Carlisle turned, leading the way. It wasn't far. Just down the corridor. I lingered behind, where the smell of blood had just started to increase.

When I let go of her hand she looked up at me, even more anxious than before.

"I'm sorry." I said, hoping my eyes would be explanation enough.

She shook her head. "Don't worry." She said, even though it would make me any less worried.

Carlisle held the door open for her to a room full of a few other patients, however she stopped there, her emotions building up all at once in a hurricane. Apprehension. Grief. Sympathy.

Fear.

Guilt.

How could she think this was  _her_  fault?

It was when her breathing hitched that Carlisle put a hand on her back. "I'll make sure she knows you're alright, when she wakes up." He told her.

"Thank you." She whispered. Her eyes watered but she refused to let herself cry. Tania turned away and Carlisle let the door shut. She made her way back to me. I placed my arm around her again.

She didn't let herself cry until we were in the car, keeping her gaze firmly out the window as silent tears slid down her face, almost as if hoping I wouldn't notice. I'd have to be a fool not to notice. Maybe she just hoped I wouldn't see her crying anymore. She didn't speak, as if afraid she'd break down.

"Come on." I murmured, closing the car door and pulling her towards the house.

Inside was empty. Everyone else was gone apart from us. If it wasn't for Tania, I'd probably be gone too, seeking out the psycho so I could rip her apart piece by piece. Slowly, to make her suffer. Of course, not after making her tell me why, of all people, she was trying to kill Tania.

"Are you hungry?" I asked. She'd probably had dinner but it would have been hours ago.

She shook her head. "No, not really, thanks."

"Will you eat something, though?" I persisted, holding out an apple to her, smiling slightly. "Please?"

She sighed, taking the apple. "Fine." She took a bite out of it.

I took her free hand, taking her upstairs to my room. Someone had moved the bed in there. It must have been Alice because she'd left a neatly folded pile of night clothes on top with a note saying she'd bring more in the morning. Tania was grateful for that.

"Could I please use your shower?" she asked.

"Sure." I replied, quickly fetching a towel. "Don't feel like you have to ask."

"Thanks." She said, dropping the apple core in the trash.

I could only hope she wouldn't try to drown herself in the shower.

Once she had left the room I was already making a call to Alice. She answered almost immediately.

"The trails getting fainter," she said. "Edward's up ahead trying to pin down her direction but she's heading all over the place to try and confuse us."

"Can't you see where she's gunna go?"

"No, she keeps changing her mind and blocking me somehow… I don't know how she's doing it. She's running around the city, though, making us go in circles. I'm sorry, Jasper, I'm trying to- I can't-,"

"It's ok, Alice." I sighed. "She keeps coming back for more games. She  _will_  make a mistake."

She paused. "How's Tania doing?"

"How about you worry about the nomad and I worry about Tania." I suggested, before hanging up.

I tried my best not to listen to Tania having her shower, but I could hear her crying so clearly it was difficult. I just wanted to end her pain.

It wasn't long till she came back, red eyed and sad. She slid under the blanket. I laid down next to her so we were facing each other.

"Don't try to fight it, ok, Darlin'?" I said softly.

"What?" she looked confused.

I didn't answer her. Instead I began to take her pain away. I couldn't let her go on like that.

She frowned. "No, Jasper, stop. Please, stop." She rolled onto her back, rubbing her eyes.

Reluctantly, I stopped. "Tania, I can take your pain away. You don't have to feel like this anymore."

"Yes, yes I do. I have to know what this feels like." She said, turning back on her side to face me. "I'm sorry, I know you can feel it too, but it's like cheating life… you know?"

I wanted to protest some more. But then, she was right. Emotions and experience was part of life and how long  _was_  she going to live for? I hadn't even given it much thought. Would she become a vampire? Or would she die a human?

How would I even go on if she did leave me in death?

Tania snuggled up close to my side. "Thank you for coming with me to the hospital. I'm sorry I make things so difficult for you." She mumbled.

I smiled. "You make things easier for me."

"I don't see how."

"Well for one thing all the girls at school won't ask me out anymore."

She hummed in amusement. There was moment of silence.

"Tania?"

"Yeah?"

"I know you feel guilty about what happened." I said. "You know it wasn't your fault, right? It was the nomad. She did this. There's nothing you could have done." I could smell salt again.

"The fire was meant for me, not her."

"We don't even know why, yet. It's ok, though, because she's going to be fine, and she's safe. And we're going to kill the nomad before she can do anything else, and you're safe because you're here with me."

She sniffed. "I love you, Jasper." Tania whispered.

"I love you, too."


	25. Thirst for Blood

**Jasper**

The night was difficult. It was around one am when Tania's breathing started to even out, and although she didn't want me to, I wanted to do something to help her sleep. I restrained myself, though. Constantly I'd stare at my phone to see if I'd somehow missed a message or someone was trying to call me, but no one did. Every now and then Tania would take an intake of breath, almost as if she'd woken from a nightmare into the one that was reality. She buried herself in the feather duvet, and when she got too warm she'd try to snuggle closer towards me.

However I wasn't the best thing to sleep beside, since it had gotten to the point where didn't dare to breath for I knew I'd just smell her. Listening to her heart beat was the worst. With every single thump it was hard not to think of all the blood rushing around in her body waiting to be released. The searing pain in my throat, begged me to give in.

Eventually Tania, having realised I was lying there rigidly not breathing, turned to face me, staring at, what must have been black, eyes. "You should go." She said.

On another occasion, where I may not have had such a dire thirst, I probably would have said no, but she was right and if I stayed too long then she might as well have cut her throat open ready for me.

I touched her hand, which was resting on the mattress, hoping that and my weak smile was enough of a thank you, before I slipped away.

* * *

**Tania**

Once Jasper had gone, I tried to go back to sleep again, unsuccessfully, tossing and turning, trying to get comfortable, despite the heavenly soft bed. After what couldn't have been very long, I checked the time on the small clock on the bedside table, only to see it was almost four in the morning. The seconds dragged slowly past, which was when I realised I definitely wasn't going to get back to sleep.

I stared out the window for a while, wondering if Jasper had really just gone to hunt, or whether he'd also gone to try and hunt down the nomad, and then I tried to figure out if I was ok with that. I'd seen Jasper kill before, only a few days ago. A few days ago somehow felt like a lifetime. Had it honestly only been that long?

Ten minutes passed slowly by until it was four, when I finally made the decision to get up. The house was unusually warm, making me wonder if that was on my behalf, since it hadn't exactly been a great temperature when I arrived. However, I supposed vampires didn't get cold so it didn't really matter to them.

I didn't see anyone around on my way to the kitchen, but I didn't think I'd be left on my own either. Maybe someone was around somewhere, except I didn't feel like talking to anyone since I was pretty sure I'd cry if I started talking about things out loud.

For some reason seeing everything unopened in cupboards was disturbing and I wasn't sure why, but I soon found some tea bags. Thankfully the Cullens had expanded to more English customs. My mother made me tea often. It was a good drink for comfort as well as warmth. As the kettle boiled I thought back to when we'd sit in the conservatory at the house we used to live in with our hands circling our mugs, watching the stars that were apparently burnt out already so technically we were staring at the past in the sky. All before David, of course.

"Couldn't sleep?" I heard a voice from the open doorway, which made me accidentally gasp. It was Esme.

"I'm sorry." She smiled sheepishly.

I shook my head, trying to get over what had just happened. "It's fine. I'm a bit jumpy." I muttered. "I didn't know anyone was here."

She opened the fridge. "I stayed behind, just in case." She replied, softly, taking the unopened milk out and shutting the door, before screwing off the top.

"I take it she's still on the run, then?" I mumbled.

The next thing I knew, Esme was hugging me tightly. "Everything's going to be ok, Tania." She told me and I felt a lump in my throat as I hugged her back.

"Am I supposed to be doing something?" I asked her. "I feel like… I should be…"

"No, dear." Esme hushed, pulling back. "The best thing for you to do is stay here and get some sleep." She began to pour the hot water into the mug.

"I really don't think I can." I said sadly, watching as she made the tea as naturally as if she did so every day, even though she didn't even eat. I decided it was a vampire thing.

"Then I guess you could watch TV or something." She smiled sadly, handing me the mug.

* * *

**Jasper**

Once I was away from Tania, it was easy for me to forget what my original plan had been. I had been intending to go straight to the woods and find some deer before going back, however as I was away and I knew Tania was safe, the anger of what the nomad bitch had done drenched through me. I couldn't let her go. I had to be the one to rip her head from her body, or at least, corner her, track her down.

After satisfying my thirst on the way, I followed the scent of the others. I could still see the smoke from the remains of the house where Tania used to live.

I finally caught up with Alice down an alleyway somewhere in the city. It would be harder for her to blend in with the few people and traffic, however there were still people around.

"Alice." I said quickly.

"The others are spread around. She's around somewhere. We're closing in on her." She blurted out, staring at the opening of the alley. "This would be so much easier if I'd actually met her. We barely have her scent…"

"What are you trying to say, Alice?" I growled. "I can't let her get away tonight."

"She won't go away." She exclaimed, her patience slowly draining away into annoyance. "She is going to stay here until Tania is dead or she realises something that will change her mind." Alice didn't blink, nor look towards me.

"What are you talking about?"

"I mean, she wants to talk to you. But I don't understand. Do you recognise her scent?"

I shook my head. "No."

Alice sighed. "Then I still don't understand. She is acting like she knows who you are but you don't know her."

I furrowed my brow, turning away. "The fact she knows about your gift. She's done her research."

"If Edward got close enough, he might be able to get more information, but only if she lets that happen." Alice continued. "I don't see us catching her. Not yet."

"No." I grumbled. "But she will come to us."


	26. Difficult

**Tania**

When the others eventually got back, it was seven and just beginning to get light. I had ended up on the sofa with a soft, white blanket and a white fluffy cushion. Esme had made me a second cup of tea since then, and she was reading whilst I watched a fantasy series I had wanted to watch for a while but never got around to it. I wasn't' paying much attention, though, almost falling asleep a couple of times and waking up abruptly with images of the woman in my head.

_When we heard he had a mate, we never expected this._

_Weak, pathetic, human._

I had almost fallen asleep when I heard the door open and sat bolt upright.

Carlisle, Edward, Emmett, Rosalie and Alice walked in; however there was no sign of Jasper.

"He's still hunting." Edward said, I assumed having read my thoughts.

"Did you find her?" Esme asked, doubtfully.

Carlisle shook his head. "But she's not going anywhere. We decided to wait for her to come to us."

Esme nodded.

"At least this isn't some wild goose chase." Emmett commented.

I looked down, reaching for the remote to turn off the TV. The longer she was out there, the more risk there was of something worse happening. Although the only things left was my mother and I, and I was sure with all the Cullens against her, she would lose. Wouldn't she? After all, she was scared enough to run off after her failed attempt.

"Tania, didn't you get  _any_  sleep?" Alice asked, sighing.

"Wow, all she has to do is sleep and she can't even do that." muttered Rosalie, heading off back into the hallway.

"That was really harsh." Emmett said, giving me an apologetic look before going after her.

"Just ignore her." Alice said, taking my hand. "Come on, we need to find you some clothes."

She led me upstairs to her room which she told me she shared with Edward now. On the sofa was a pile of clothes with an open cardboard box on the floor. "I basically replaced the things you bought before, with extras of course." She explained. "You're still the same size, aren't you?"

"Yeah." I mumbled, looking around the room for a minute until I felt like I was invading her privacy.

Alice picked up the pile of clothes, and I grabbed the box, wanting to feel like I was doing something useful. She started talking about how Jasper wouldn't mind splitting the wardrobe temporarily, causing me to feel uneasy for no apparent reason. I'd stayed with the Cullens a week before. Why would it be any different? But then, before I hadn't been aware of what they really were.

She dumped the pile of clothes on the bed and strode over to the wardrobe to push all of Jasper's clothes to one side, searching for spare hangers.

I began to look through the outfits, finding a pair of jeans, a top that resembled one of my others and a cardigan. The shoes in the box were pretty much the most beautiful shoes I'd ever seen: high heels that I could actually walk in, boots and pumps.

"Thanks so much, Alice." I said, hearing my voice crack. I hugged her.

"You're welcome." She replied. "And to repay me, just don't ever cut your hair short like it was during the summer."

I had to smile at that. It really had looked awful.

Carlisle drove me to the hospital. I was going to ask him if I could buy some things for my mother on the way, however Alice had apparently already told him I'd ask and I was thankful she had since despite all the money they had and didn't need, I'd still feel extremely awkward at asking.

He gave me some money and waited for me so I could get my mother some provisions etcetera. She needed a few things like a hairbrush. She hated it when her hair got knotted. Cosmetics, toothpaste, snacks and something to read.

When I got back, I made to give the change to Carlisle but he told me to keep it. I almost cried again.

I was nervous about seeing my mother, however Carlisle assure me she'd been asking for me as he'd stayed at the hospital until she was conscious. As soon as I was allowed in the room to see her, I cautiously walked to her bed where she was slumped on her pile of pillows, looking tired and pale with a few red marks on her arms.

She smiled at me, opening her arms for a hug, which I did so gently so as not to hurt her even more.

"Tania, I'll wait for you outside." Carlisle murmured, before leaving us alone.

"Honey," my mother began. "Are you alright? Did you stay-,"

I cut her off. "Everything's fine, ma."

"Dr. Cullen said you're staying with them?" she asked.

I nodded, seating myself in the chair next to her bed.

"Is David with you? I haven't seen him…" she trailed off, staring at my sorrowful expression.

"I don't know where he is. He told me he could stay with a friend near here but he didn't even say a name."

She sighed, rubbing at her eyes, tiredly. "He should have taken you with him."

"It's fine, ma." I mumbled, suddenly stopping myself as I was about to chew at my lip. "C- Dr. Cullen gave me some money, so I got you some stuff." I told her, putting the bag on the bed so she could look through the stuff.

"Oh, honey…" she took my hand.

"Don't worry about me, ok? I'm safe. They think someone started the fire, but they're going to catch who's responsible." I explained, leaving the 'they' ambiguous so that I wasn't technically lying.

"I'm going to have to contact insurance…" she sighed. "I really wanted this to work out for us. Finally somewhere to live and now..." her eyes glistened in the light and the lump in my throat came back.

"Don't cry, ma." I squeezed her hand. "It isn't like the fire left us with nothing. Don't you always say material objects are worthless?" I reminded her, trying to smile reassuringly, unsure at how convincing I was being (perhaps drama was paying off).

She sniffed. "I love you so much, Tania."

"Love you, too." I replied, trying to blink away the tears.

She took a breath, trying to stop crying, rubbing her eyes again. I hadn't seen her like that in years. "So, you don't need to visit me every day. I shan't be here long. And don't fall behind on school. I know what you're like, Tania."

I nodded, numbly, not wanting to disagree.

"Just maybe this week… call them and explain so they don't suspend you. Catch up on your work…" she trailed off, trying to think of more ideas. "Learn your lines." She said finally, with a feeble smile.

"Ok." I laughed through more tears.

We talked and cried for a while until eventually my mother told me to go and get something to eat and some sleep seeing as I had dark circles under my eyes. I wasn't hungry at all, though.

On the way back, I almost fell asleep in the car but then suddenly the face of the woman appeared and an uncalled for crippling fear ran through me, when the idea of her being at the hospital waiting until there was no one around, entered my mind.

I took a sharp intake of breath, causing Carlisle to glance at me for a moment.

"Is it difficult?" I suddenly asked him.

"What?" he questioned, since I hadn't been very specific.

"Being a good father." I answered before I could stop myself. "Oh God," I continued before he could say anything. "I'm sorry, I'm so tired." I mumbled, rubbing my eyes. "I didn't mean to say that." Turning my head, I looked out the window awkwardly.

"I'm flattered you think so." He said, kindly. Carlisle paused. "But to be fair, David's at least three hundred years younger than me. Assuming this is about him."

"Fair point." I replied, shifting my gaze from the window as rain started to splatter down.

"It really depends on beliefs… opinions…" he continued.

"But how you always know what to say, what to do… is that hard?"

Carlisle hesitated, and I wondered if he was trying to phrase his words carefully.

I looked down. "Because if it's easy, then that would mean I did something wrong – to make him hate me."

"Tania." Carlisle said, which made my eyes flicker back up. "I'm sure you didn't do anything wrong, and if you did he should have forgiven you. There is nothing you could have done, and there is not any plausible reason why he should hate you."

I swallowed. "Ok." I said in a small voice, only half believing him.

"He shouldn't have hit you."

Briefly I thought about asking how he'd found out, however I should have been used to word getting around the Cullens quickly.

It didn't take long to get back from the hospital, seeing as the distance was only short. I hoped Jasper would be there, however he wasn't. Perhaps if he ate more that meant he would be able to stay around me for longer without needed to hunt.

So I made myself a sandwich for lunch and ate it alone in the kitchen before checking out the vast collection of books I had only seen momentarily before. Most of them were non-fiction, however there were a few shelves dedicated to fiction. I borrowed a romance novel which looked quite new, finding the first few pages interesting, and wandered back upstairs to Jasper's room.

The temperature had gotten a bit chilly over the day so I stood against the radiator for a minute before realising I didn't really want to move away. I seated myself on the soft, creamy white carpet. I read for a while, until I couldn't concentrate anymore and the words blurred every few seconds after I blinked.


	27. Soup

**Jasper**

I hadn't meant to be out for so long, but I wanted to be with Tania for longer without needing to feed and so it would be easier to spend more time hunting than leaving her often. I hoped she'd gotten some more sleep, however I sincerely doubted that had happened in the state I'd left her in.

It was early evening by the time I was on my way back. Alice had sent me a message telling me she would be hanging around for a while, just in case she saw something. I found Tania almost asleep, curled up against the radiator in my room with one of Rosalie's books slowly slipping out of her hands every now and then. She was so out of it she hadn't even noticed me come in.

"Are you alright down there, Darlin'?" I asked her, jokily.

Tania jerked suddenly, hitting her wrist on the warm metal with a clang, rapidly facing me with wide eyes. "Ow." She groaned, calming down when she realised it was only me, rubbing her wrist where she'd hurt herself.

I watched her, sadly. "Are you ok?" It was a stupid question, since she obviously wasn't feeling ok, or looking ok, but it was all I could say.

She nodded, trying to stifle a yawn. "Yeah, I was just reading here for a while and then I got too tired to get up so I kind of didn't. It's really warm down here."

I nodded slowly. "Uh… huh…" I sat down next to her, taking her left hand and carefully slipping the book out of her right. "You can sleep, you know. We'd catch her scent before she even got around the block."

"Road." Tania mumbled, with her eyes closed.

"What?"

"You'd catch her scent before she even got down the road. Really, Jasper, I thought you were trying to fit in." she smirked.

I sighed in amusement. "Yes, ok, you win. And your reward is a bed."

"No, I can't." she opened her eyes. "I can't sleep, Jasper. She's there, every time I close my eyes she's there. When we heard he had a mate, we never expected this. A weak, pathetic human. I am going to get out of here. She'd better be dead."

It took me a second to realise she was quoting what the vampire must have said the day I found them attacking her in that alleyway. Who was she? And why was she so keen to kill 'my mate'?

Quickly, I wrapped my arms around her in a comforting embrace. "Tania, I am not going to let her, or if she has any more friends, hurt you. Got it? I'm going to keep you safe. Forever."

She nodded, nestling her face in my shoulder with her arms around my neck. After a minute or so she pulled back. "I love you." She whispered, before reaching up and kissing me softly. Tania giggled, looking away, feeling slightly awkward.

I smiled, with my hands on her waist, gently bringing her back, closer so I could kiss her tenderly. "I love you, too." I at last replied.

"We should do this more often." Tania murmured.

"And we will," I paused. "But you need to sleep first."

"Fine." She gave in. "You win."

I stood, clinging to her hands to help her up. She swayed on her feet, drowsily, so I picked her up bridal style.

Tania yelped. "You shouldn't be allowed to do that." She tried to protest, but I was already lying her down on the bed.

"You know, feminism and all that…" she muttered, trailing off.

"Yes, ok." I agreed, snuggling up next to her so I could put an arm over her. "How's your mother?"

She sighed. "Better than yesterday." Tania mumbled. "She wants me to go back to school next week."

"Then I suppose we'll have to learn our lines."

I heard her hum in amusement, however she then got serious again. "I'll need to borrow your script."

"Yeah." I replied, sadly, holding her tighter.

She managed to drift off for a couple of hours, only waking up once as it began to rain again, only harder. All I could really do was stay beside her, keeping her close to me so she'd feel safe. I considered using my power on her again, but she hadn't mentioned her changing her mind about the night before. I did respect her emotions and opinions; therefore I couldn't have it both ways.

Soon I heard Esme humming downstairs, moving things around in the kitchen and later there was a knock on the door, causing Tania to stir.

"I'd thought you'd like some soup." She exclaimed, smiling motherly.

"Thanks, Esme." Tania returned the smile, sleepily, sitting up so she was against the pillows. I did the same, so she could lean on me.

Esme handed her the bowl and a spoon. "I called your school, by the way."

"Oh," Tania said, surprised. "Thank you, you didn't have to."

She waved it off. "It was nothing, dear. They sent their regards and your teachers are going to email you work to catch up, and they basically said to try and get back as soon as you can, but there's no hurry."

Tania nodded. "Ok, thanks!"

There was a pause. "Jasper," Esme said to me.

"Hm?" I glanced up, since I had been looking at the soup in fascination.

"You'd better not eat that soup. I made it for Tania from scratch." She said in a warning tone.

I nodded, trying to surprises a laugh. Tania snickered next to me.

"If you wanted soup, then you should have asked." Esme finished, walking out.

"But Esme-," I tried to protest.

"Nope!" She called back in reply, shutting the door.

Tania shook her head, taking a sip of the soup off the spoon and humming in satisfaction. She took a few mouthfuls and then stared at the contents of the bowl sadly, feeling disappointed. Only about half of it was gone.

"You've gotta eat, Darlin'." I told her.

"What, in case I eat  _you_?" she mumbled, dejectedly.

I frowned. So far it seemed like she was trying to torture herself. Maybe she still thought the fire was her fault since the nomad had intended Tania to be the target and her mother had gotten hurt in the cross fire as a result. She wouldn't sleep, she wouldn't eat… what would be next?

"Starving yourself isn't gunna help anyone. It's just gunna leave you hungry." I explained.

Still, she lowered the bowl. "I really can't eat any more. As great as Esme's cooking is…"

I raised my eyebrows at her. "I will force it down you. I can do that." I warned.

"Nu-uh." Tania shook her head, although slightly worried at the threat.

"Yeah-huh." I replied, taking the spoon from the bowl and holding it out towards her. "Come on."

She glared at me, snatching the spoon out of my hand. "I'm not two." Yet she took the mouthful of soup anyway.

I smiled mischievously. "Then don't act like you are."

Tania narrowed her eyes at me. "If I knew I wouldn't break my hand, I would slap you."

"Sure you would." I retorted, disbelievingly. "If you were the violent type. Which you aren't."

She took another spoonful of soup. "Oh the things I would do to you if I were a vampire."

I raised an eyebrow.

"I don't mean-," her eyes widened. "-I meant-," she groaned. "You have a sick mind, Jasper."

I laughed. "You have no idea."

She nudged me with her elbow, which was probably all she could do so she wouldn't hurt herself. I decided to stop teasing her, just because I was worried I'd wind her up too much. The only thing was, if she was laughing then she definitely wasn't crying, and I certainly didn't want that.

Tania finished with about a spoonful of soup left in the bowl, however I wasn't going to make her eat it. She placed it on the bedside table, and nestled herself back in my side as I fiddled with the ends of her hair.

"Did you go looking for her when you left earlier?" she finally asked me, having no need to say who 'her' was.

I hesitated, but she needed to know the truth and I wasn't going to lie to her. "Yes."

She didn't speak for a moment, although I could tell she was feeling miserable and unsure at the same time. I thought she might ask me not to hunt her down, or at least not to do it alone. "Don't get yourself killed." She said at last. Perhaps she already knew there was no stopping me from ripping the nomad apart, one limb at a time.


	28. Turning Back

**Tania**

Later that night, it was much harder to get to sleep than it had been before for some reason. I had stayed up with Jasper, talking and explaining in more detail what my mother and I had talked about at the hospital. He seemed to steer clear of the topic of the female vampire, and I was grateful. Although I was tremendously glad he was back from hunting, I still had trouble sleeping. Perhaps it was the darkness of the night, but I had no clue if that played a part.

After an hour of restlessness and trying to get comfortable, however being unable, I finally said "This sucks." I rolled over onto my back. "You were right, before. I take back what I said, Jasper, I don't want to feel like this anymore." I pressed my palms to my eye lids, tired and frustrated.

"Are you sure, Tania?" he asked.

I turned over to face him and he slid a hand onto my waist. "Yeah, I'm sure." I whispered.

And then I felt the frustration somehow melt away as well as all the stupid awful feelings of pain so breathing became easier, especially since I'd felt the lump in my throat come back before. All of my muscles relaxed and I wondered why I had been so stubborn before. Jasper's gift was like a drug, and yet at the same time it felt completely natural.

When I woke up, it was light outside. The grey sky showed through the pinprick gaps in the material of the curtains into the room. It was still raining, as I heard the drips against the glass.

"Mornin'." I heard Jasper say, next to me.

"That could get addictive." I exclaimed, facing him. "I haven't slept like that since… I don't think I've ever slept like that."

He smiled uncomfortably. "Um, yeah, about that," Jasper paused, cautiously. "You remember that night, a few months ago…"

I stared at him, taking a second to remember. "The night you attacked me?"

He had been nervous about saying it bluntly before. "Yeah, that one. Well… I felt kinda bad about what I did, and even worse when I saw you awake through the window so I may have-,"

I cut him off. "You followed me to my house before we even officially met properly and practically drugged me because you felt bad for almost eating me?"

He swallowed, trying to grin apologetically. "Well when you put it like that-,"

"That's the creepiest thing I've ever heard." I interjected him again. "But it's sweet I suppose, so you are forgiven." I smiled, closing my eyes for a moment. "Thank you for telling me."

My eyes opened quickly as I suddenly remembered something.

"What is it?" Jasper, asked, looking slightly anxious.

"Your ipod was in the fire. I'm sorry."

"Darlin'," he said, exasperated. "I don't care about that. Really."

I exhaled. "No, yeah, of course."

He squeezed my hand and we lay there for a while until I sat up. "I hate to be boring, but I have work to do. Can I borrow your laptop?"

Going through all the emails from my teachers didn't take too long, but the problem was I didn't have any of the work I'd already done that year. Although, thankfully they'd send me the stuff they'd already done with messages telling me it would be a good idea to copy someone's notes from each class. Drama was the only thing I was worried about since I had missed many rehearsals before and along with a mixture of exercises and techniques the class had been learning about, Mr Gates had been hoping for our group to perform before Christmas, however due to recent events he would let us have an extension if necessary. Rosalie awkwardly lent me her folder of perfect English notes which looked like they belonged in a text book, and I was grateful that the only essay I had to do was for Drama and I couldn't do that without going to Drama first.

Jasper and I went for a walk after he'd found me sticking my head out the window trying to get some fresh air as I had a headache. I loved the smell of the rain hitting the pavement. The worst had been that morning, and over the day the sky had cleared up, although still covered the sun with grey clouds. We walked up the small hill to the town, stopping at one of the shops since I needed stationary for school. What I needed most was really a phone, and my mother needed one too but I couldn't afford that. Perhaps my pot of pound coins could be salvageable from the fire, however it wouldn't be weeks until we'd be allowed to see if we could retrieve anything from the house for safety. Luckily, the walk to the town happened to be in another direction than the house.

On the way back, I reminded Jasper I still wanted to visit my dad the next day, and I could tell he didn't think it was a good idea, but nevertheless replied that he'd promised me he'd go with me, so he would.

* * *

The following morning I waited for Jasper in the car. He'd explained he needed to sort out a couple of things and would only be a few minutes, although I was slightly suspicious he had gotten into an argument with someone over whether I should be able to go, and of course, when Jasper came back Edward was close on his tail, quarrelling even loud enough for me to hear.

"It's not safe for her to be so far away with just one of us." He tried to reason. "The possibility of something happening just because of this is ridiculous.

"Then you're welcome to come with us." Jasper replied. "Edward, I'm not happy about it either…"

"So why are you going to risk so much?" Edward cut in.

Maybe I was being stupid and selfish, I thought as my pulse quickened out of my control. I wanted to go, but Edward was right. I was risking a lot just to visit my dead father on his birthday. I regretted even bringing back up the idea in the first place.

I had been about to get out and tell Jasper it wasn't worth it when suddenly the door opened and Alice got in the back. "Hey!" she greeted, cheerfully.

"Alice?" I questioned, confused.

"Oh don't worry," she said, reassuringly. "Edward's overreacting. She's decided to lay low for a while so she won't be doing anything today except hunt. Besides, you won't be anywhere near here and she won't even notice you're gone. It was probably more dangerous for you to be out yesterday." Alice beamed, patting my arm. "By the way, I've come to keep you guys company."

I nodded slowly, realising it was probably for the best that she came with us, just in case.

Edward and Jasper finally finished their argument and Edward stormed off with a growl.

"Are you ok?" I asked as Jasper got in the car.

He glanced at me. "Yeah, I'm fine." And then he turned to Alice. "Alice are you-,"

"Yes, I am really coming, seeing as this is my car." She interrupted.

He nodded. "Fair enough."

I didn't feel so great on the way there. Before, I'd imagined getting the train like I normally would have, since the cemetery was near the station and it was the quickest way to get there. However, a vampire driving the car made it considerably different and so the drive barely took an hour and a half.

Alice tried to start up a few conversations, but I kept quiet and noticeably so, since Jasper kept looking my way. At least the weather had changed and it wasn't raining.

Finally we got to the village and I gave the directions, feeling some sort of knot in my stomach. The privately owned florist across the street was still there, so with the change Carlisle had let me have in my pocket, I crossed the road, clinging to Jasper's hand while Alice waited for us.

The bell above the door gave off the familiar ring as we entered, causing the woman at the desk to look up from her knitting magazine. "Ah, it's that time of year again. Good morning, Tania, dear." She greeted, with a soft, sympathetic smile. "I still remember." She then disappeared through the archway with strings of beats floating down.

"She knows you?" Jasper asked me.

"She was friends with my dad." I replied.

The woman, Penny, came back with a bunch of red and yellow tulips. I fished in my pocket for the change and handed her the exact amount. "You are your mother are well?" she asked.

I hesitated for a split second, unsure as to whether I should tell her about everything, but decided against it. "Yes, thank you. And you?"

"Very well, sweetie, my grandson just got married." Penny grinned, happily. "Who's your friend?"

"Congratulations." I said, before turning my head to gaze up at Jasper.

"Jasper, ma'am." He answered her.

"American!" Penny cried, shocked. "I hope your mother knows about this." She winked.

I tried not to laugh, taking the flowers and beginning to leave.

"Goodbye, sweetie…" she paused. "Jasper."

Outside I started to giggle. "Sorry, I probably should have warned you about Penny." I apologised.

"No worries." He replied, doing his cute side smile.

Alice joined us as we crossed the road back towards the gates of the cemetery. "Nice flowers." She commented.

We passed rows and rows of graves, old and new, some covered completely in foliage, others broken from vandalism. A hundred angel statues watched us as we made our way to my father's headstone in the middle of the graveyard littered with rock.

"You never told me your father's name was Alex." Jasper exclaimed once the three of us were standing in front of the grave.

"Well now you know."

I laid the flowers next to the headstone bearing my father's name and stood back, still with my fingers intertwined with Jasper's. For a while we stood there and I sighed, listening to the sounds of the birds chirping and the noise of an occasional car going past on the road back by the gates.

"It's like a hole, isn't it?" Alice mused aloud.

I hummed quietly in agreement. People didn't just leave. They left behind a gap in everyone else's lives, that seemed to be unable to be filled, by anything. There was simply a void in which he'd left behind. A void, and a small cat shaped hole.


	29. A Lesser Hell

**Jasper**

People were dying. No, dying was too lenient. People were being murdered. The news reporters had decided to call it 'vicious illegal animals' attacking people, although only two bodies had been discovered in the woods. I didn't even need all of the details to know the person… thing… responsible. At least they were right it was a creature attacking them.

I tried to keep Tania away from the news, however that seemed impossible since it leaked out somehow and then she wasn't happy with me for not mentioning it, but there was nothing she could do about the situation.

Eventually Sunday came around again and gradually Tania's pain had eased, although not by much. It had transformed itself into worry and anxiety, of which when I asked her she told me she was nervous about going back to school.

"I don't want to start again." Tania confessed while we watched TV on the sofa (as Tania insisted it was called a sofa and not a couch).

"You won't be." I told her, confidently. "You already got me to fall in love with you."

She laughed at that. "Seriously though…"

"Seriously, you won't be starting again. I think it would be impossible to forget you in a week."

It was then that Carlisle walked in, having finished his shift at the hospital. "Hey." He said, coming up to the back of the sofa.

Tania quickly looked up, opening her mouth, which I assumed she'd ask about her mother.

"She'll be able to leave soon." He answered, since she asked the same question every single time he reappeared. "I got you something." Carlisle smiled as he handed her a small glittery blue gift bag. I sensed some slight euphoria.

It didn't take her long to open the bag and pull out the small box from inside as her heart began to beat wildly once she recognised what the present was. She gasped and her eyes started to glisten in the light. "Oh my GOD!" she cried. "You bought me an  _iPhone_?!" Quickly, Tania stood, carefully placing the box on the sofa and practically threw herself at him in a hug.

"Thank you so much, Carlisle." She sniffed, feeling happier than she had been for a long time.

He hugged her back. "You're very welcome, Tania."

"That's the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me." She mumbled.

"Ahem." Emmett cleared his throat in the doorway to the hall.

Carlisle and Tania pulled apart. "What?" Tania asked, confused as she wiped one of her eyes with her hand.

"That time I let you win on Mario kart, o so named 'mario kart queen.'" He smirked.

She shook her head. "I think you're the one that got hit with that blue shell, Emmett." she retorted, going back to the sofa so she could open the box.

"No-," he started to protest.

"Oh leave it, Emm, can't you see she's having a moment?" I cut in.

He grumbled something about that not being the way he remembered it and trooped up the stairs.

"He's just jealous he wouldn't be able to use the temperature sensitive touch screen." Carlisle chuckled.

As Tania had been trying to go to bed at an earlier time, to see if she'd sleep for longer, she'd been waking up pretty early in the morning. Therefore getting up in time to go to school was not difficult. She awoke a while before she'd ask me to wake her up, feeling slightly on edge that it was suddenly time to go.

My thirst had been building up and so I'd gone to hunt in the late evening. I hadn't told Tania, but I'd managed to catch a whiff of the nomad's scent, although it had led to somewhere in the woods and stopped completely, as if she'd gone up or down. However, how could she? There had been no sign of the earth being dug up, and she would not have been able to jump so far away. Perhaps the occasional rain fall had somehow deceived me as unlikely that theory was?

Tania dressed in a black skirt she wouldn't normally have worn for casual and a fashionable black blouse. Alice had definitely picked out her wardrobe.

"Doesn't it freak you out?" she asked me as she placed a folder into her new bag Alice had also given her.

"What?" I thought she might be talking about social situations, but I could be wrong.

"Us… sharing the same wardrobe." She replied, nervously.

I smiled, hoping to ease her anxiety, although still a bit confused. "How would that freak me out?"

She shrugged before sliding the door shut, and said no more about it.

Emmett and Rosalie took their own ride, leaving Tania and I with Edward, who seemed to have gotten over the day before, although Tania hadn't forgotten about it and was wary of him. After I gave him a disapproving look for the whole drive there, letting him know what I really thought, he eventually apologised to her, even though it didn't do much to her nerves, but at least she knew her and Edward were ok.

I had never been more thankful to have drama class on a Monday morning, and I suspected Tania felt the same way. The only thing that was really getting to me was the reactions of the rest of our group, seeing as the last time I had been there I'd attacked Jason. That had been another thing I'd not mentioned to Tania. She'd probably have been better not knowing, though, and I certainly wasn't going to tell her then.

We entered the drama hall and immediately Amber and Anna, who'd been quietly discussing something in hushed and rapid whispers, turned their heads towards the door.

"T!" Anna cried, rushing over to Tania and hugging her tightly. Tania could only stand there and gently pat Anna's back in amused surprise.

Amber stood up as well and walked over, taking her turn of a hug. "We're really sorry about what happened." She said, sympathetically.

"I didn't think you'd be back for  _ages_! I thought you'd leave or something…" Anna continued.

Tania shook her head. "My mother wanted me to come back to school, and anyway, it's ok because the Cullens were nice enough to let me stay with them for a while."

Amber and Anna both turned their faces towards me, both of them having their emotions turn from sympathy and joy to shock and worry.

"Really." said Amber, although she sounded so unhappy the word sounded nothing like a question.

The atmosphere changed to awkwardness as the two girls must have been thinking of what had happened before and Amber even made a subtle step away from me in apprehension.

Tania looked up at me, confused. "Did something happen or-," she started to ask, however the other door at the back of the hall opened and Mr Gates stepped in, rubbing his hands together.

"Ah, Tania, and Jasper. We were beginning to forget what you looked like." He joked.

The class went by more painlessly than usual, apart from the obvious fact of Amber, Anna, Jason and Craig, although I may have secretly pushed away the outstanding fear looming around. Instead of rehearsing and running lines, the teacher proclaimed that it was a Monday so he'd go easy on the class that day with some exercises and methods. I did have a suspicion that it had something to do with Tania coming back, though.

At the end of the lesson he announced there'd be a trip, of which he expected everyone to go, to see a small production of Shakespeare's Tempest that was going to take place in the city for only a month. Tania smiled at that, excited and fascinated at the prospect.

Reluctantly, I let her go to English with Amber, only being able to hope that Amber wouldn't mention anything.

* * *

**Tania**

Something very strange was going on, and I was utterly confused as time wore on that morning. I'd noticed Anna and Amber as well as the guys Craig and Jason had been particularly wary of Jasper the entire lesson, trying to keep their distance, and moving away so they wouldn't get put together in improvisations or anything. Of course, I knew they weren't particularly fond of each other, but really? They couldn't even stand to work together for five minutes?

Finally Amber got me alone on the way to English, which was when she started to talk.

"Has Jasper…" she began, gingerly. "Has he, you know, been a little…" she trailed off, hesitant to be blunt about the subject.

"What?" I asked, slightly irritated that everyone seemed to know something was going on except for me.

"Has he," she sighed. "Has he been angry at you at all?" Amber asked, and then said quickly. "I'm just trying to look out for you. Don't get mad."

I frowned, still confused as I kicked a stone on the pavement. "Why would he be angry at me?"

"Well has he like… hurt you or anything?"

I stared at her blankly. "Are you messing with me? I don't get it."

Amber took a breath, about to continue with what she really meant to say – either that or add in some more side stepping, when my bag slid off my shoulder.

"Emmett!" I screamed at him, as he ran past with my bag.

He stopped a few yards ahead, shrugging as if to say 'what are you gunna do?' and then ran off as I marched towards him with a temper rising. "Emmett give me that back! I need it! I have English in three minutes!" I cried.

I started to run after him as he mocked me, sprinting a few paces and then watching me attempt to get my things back, although failing miserably.

Amber tried to help me, reaching for it at one point so I could try and grab it while he was focused on her, however we had no chance against a vampire practically made of pure muscle.

Eventually we were standing outside the building and I couldn't help but laugh at his ridiculous actions. He then lost when Amber jumped for it and he stuck his arm in the opposite direction. Emmett pretended to have lost, however I knew he had faked it, and after Amber and I arrived at English I spent half the lesson wondering why he had.

Jasper was hiding something from me, and I needed to find out what and why.


	30. Truth

**Jasper**

"I know Emmett was sent to distract me this morning." Tania told me at lunch in a nearby café as she munched on a bag of crisps.

I probably should have known that her finding out would be inevitable. I guess I just didn't want to tell her about my weaknesses, not after how she needed me to protect her.

"Well?" she asked, waiting for me to give her an explanation. "Something happened in drama. Amber asked me if you were violent towards me sometimes." Tania furrowed her brow. "What happened?"

I sighed, pleading with my eyes for her not to get angry with me or disappointed or… well, she was going to feel something negative after I told her. What was the use? "Last time you came to drama and then left before class started…"

She nodded, gravely, worried about what I was going to say.

"Jason said something… and I impulsively did something stupid."

She took a shark intake of breath.

"I held him against the wall because I got really angry, and Anna, Amber and Craig all freaked out." I shook my head, as if trying to shake the memory away so it would never have happened. "I'm sorry, I didn't want you to know I lost control…  _again_."

Tania had put her packet of crisps on the table, disappointedly looking down. She did so for a painful minute, until I broke the silence.

"Say something. Please." I said, staring at her eyes, wishing she'd at least look at me.

Finally she glanced up and made eye contact. "How is it even safe for you to still be here?" she questioned. "How do you know they won't say anything? That's three witnesses. Can't we get them to forget?"

I groaned. "But that's not the point. The point is I don't want to have to do that."

"Well like it or not, you lost control and it's impossible to tell if they'll say anything." She sighed. "I suppose if they were going to they would have done already but still…" Tania trailed off, turning away again.

"Alice said she saw them deciding to keep it quiet." I exclaimed.

"Ok." She said, still looking away.

Tania not talking to me was so utterly worse than if she'd been angry at me. I'd much rather her scream something at me than refuse to speak to me unless it was one word answers. She walked away to her next lesson, with a simple goodbye, and she still wasn't talking to me when we met up to leave. This really hadn't been how I imagined how the talk would go.

I decided that then was the best time to go and hunt something to give her some space.

* * *

**Tania**

Jasper had attacked someone. The words had been circling my head all afternoon. Jasper had attacked someone and then hidden it from me. I couldn't tell if I was angry because he'd tried to keep it a secret and not even think that I'd notice something was up. I suppose I didn't really blame him for turning on Jason. Jason was a dick, everyone who know him had to admit it, but that still wasn't a good enough reason. And the whole reality that Jasper did this sort of thing, despite how much time he'd spent as a vampire.

"You can't be too mad at him for long." Alice voiced her thoughts as I ate a bowl of ice cream to try and cheer myself up. "He didn't mean to."

"Yeah, but he kept it from me." I persisted. "The fact he didn't think I'd find out."

She smiled weakly. "It's bound to happen sometimes, Tania. Jasper's trying the best he can. You've no idea how frustrated he gets with himself. Be patient, and things will work out."

Alice was right. Jasper probably didn't want to bring it up anyway, due to everything else going on, he didn't need to add to the stress.

Sitting on the floor in Jasper's room, I tried to work on some English homework due in a couple of days, nervous about what he might be thinking. What if the damage had been done and he was beating himself up about it? I had been so stupid to get so quick tempered with him before stopping to think.

I heard the door downstairs and then I saw him standing in the doorway unhappily. I slid my folder away to one side.

"Don't worry," he muttered. "I'll come back later."

"No, Jasper, wait!" I cried, getting to my feet.

He did so, although he still didn't change his strained expression, closing the door behind him, despite the fact that the door gave little privacy to all the super hearing vampires around.

"I'm not angry at you." I started.

"I know; you're disappointed. I felt it." He cut in.

I took a step towards him. "I didn't mean- I'm sorry I reacted how I did. I know you lose control sometimes. And that's ok." Somehow I'd stepped even closer and managed to reach my hands up and around his neck to his messy, honey blonde hair.

"It doesn't matter anymore, it's in the past." I murmured. "You don't have to hide your imperfections from me."

Jasper lent towards me and closed his eyes as we shared a kiss. I was relieved we had been able to make up so quickly. I still remembered the painful day where we'd disputed.

The second day of school was better. Well, school wasn't fun as usual, but it had been better in the way that I didn't have a drama lesson and so there had been no awkwardness flying around. After school, however, I had gotten home to find my mother talking and laughing with Esme in the living room. Apart from the cast on her leg, she looked a lot better than the couple of times I'd seen her at the hospital. I hugged her, so happy that she had been able to leave the hospital, especially since she'd be a lot more protected (coincidentally) surrounded by vampires.

She told me that we were also finally getting somewhere more permanent to live. A house a few miles away, so I could continue going to school. Even though it had been great to live with the Cullens, it had made me very self-conscious of the fact I was a human and they weren't, unlike last time when they had to pretend. The only issue I was worried about was the safety of my mother and I.

"What if she tries to burn down that house, too?" I asked Jasper that night.

"That would be too conspicuous." He pointed out, and then went on to explain about the vampire higher authority – The Volturi – who ended those who attracted too much attention to the vampire kind.

"I'm still not convinced." I said when he'd finished, to which he replied with the house wasn't far away and Carlisle had said before they should make sure at least one of them would be watching to make sure nothing happened.

And still, David had not even made a single phone call. He hadn't so much as visited my mother in the hospital and I hadn't heard anything from him. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he'd left us, although he couldn't possible have done so at a time when my mother needed him the most. Sure, he wasn't friendly towards me, but he wasn't the type of guy who'd just get up and leave after years of living with us. Perhaps it was just his own way of dealing.


	31. Snow

**Jasper**

Weeks passed, and the nomad had still not made a move, making me question whether she had moved in, intending to come back when we were less alert. However it was when our guard was most unsuspecting when it should have been its strongest. So far she had been clever in the way she had done her research about us and knew what she was up against as well as how to get around it. Fire was the one thing vampires were unable to resist, and the fact she had been willing to use it suggested just how far she was willing to go to get what she wanted.

Tania's anxiety about the whole thing seemed to lesson as more and more time went on, only causing mine to grow. If she wasn't expecting anything to happen, she would be dearly wrong in the future, which would make anything the nomad attempted to do to her all the more shocking.

Although Tania and her mother left to go to their 'new' house, I still spent a lot of time with Tania, getting paranoid something would happen. More than once she implied it wasn't necessary, however I ignored her. If something were to happen to Tania, I doubted I'd be able to live with myself for not protecting her at every chance I had.

They hadn't been able to salvage much from the ashes. There were a few valuables Tania had been able to find in her room, along with some money here and there. However most of her things were damaged beyond repair. She told me about her father's jacket at the back of her wardrobe that was nothing but black dust. Of course none of her books had escaped, and certainly no electrical items. The nomad really had been merciless.

By the time it was November, my patience that I had kept all this time seemed to diminish and I wanted to move forward, to do something that would cause the coward to come out of her hiding place and make it known who she was and what she wanted with Tania. What kind of vampire was so persistent that they would wait weeks… months for a human that was protected by other vampires? It made absolutely no sense.

The only one I could think of that would be so keen for some sort of revenge would be Maria, and even then there would be no point. I knew Maria, and I knew she would have been angry at my departure, but she wouldn't have gone after me when she could have found a replacement who would be more willing to work for her. All she would do was kill me, and what would be the reasoning when I was halfway across the world, not invading her 'life'. Besides, I knew her scent, and the nomad's was utterly different.

By the end of the month, a rare occurrence – according to Tania – happened. The temperature of the weather dropped low enough so that instead of rain, snowflakes fell from the sky.

"I love the snow." Tania exclaimed with a soft smile as we walked towards her house.

She wore gloves so it was easier for us to hold hands in the colder weather, as well as wrapping a thick white scarf around her neck. The coldness made her skin appear even more paler than usual, aside from her pink cheeks and nose, which she often rubbed with the back of her hand in order to be able to feel it again.

When I looked back, I couldn't recall ever seeing so much snow on the ground when I was human. Perhaps a dusting if it got cold enough, although it never stuck. The only thing I could concentrate on, though, was the monster would leave prints, or at least some kind of sign in the trees. She could not stay in one place for long… we would find her if she did.

We reached her front door, and she turned to face me, not bothering to search in her bag for her keys. "I know what you're thinking." She said, before sniffing. "It will be easier to track her in the snow, won't it?"

I paused. "We need to take advantage while we can. I don't know how long she's prepared to wait for you, but she can't get too comfortable."

Tania sighed, but she wasn't upset or disappointed. She didn't ask me to wait for the nomad to do act again before trying to corner them. She simply stood on tip toes to kiss me and said "Happy hunting."

I smiled back, telling her I loved her, and watched her unlock the door to enter the house. I heard Esme inside, so I run off, knowing Tania would be safe while the rest of us began yet again, to search for the nomad vampire.

When everything was finally over, Tania and I could be happy, and that was the thought which kept me going.

Despite Alice not having any major visions of the nomad and the rapidly darkening sky as evening drew ever nearer, fate seemed to be on our side.

In the woods there was a small gap, almost completely covered between two bushes, with snow scraped away below, perhaps where a small animal had tried to crawl through – maybe a dog. Nevertheless I breathed in. It was thick with her scent.

 _Edward_ , I thought, wanted to be quiet in case she was still nearby. In the distance I saw his bronze hair appear between the trees. He quietly inhaled, eyes darting around above in search for her. She would not be able to get away, not that time. Not when we had her completely surrounded. She was only one, whereas there were six of us.

Alice gracefully climbed a tree, as silently as she could. Rosalie did the same further away, to get an advantage from up high. The nomad wouldn't even be able to escape in the air. Unless she had some power none of us knew of, it was highly doubtful she'd be able to disappear.

We waited.

The sky darkened even more so, however we were vampires. The only difference it made was how contrasting she would be against the brilliant white of the snow. She was always wearing black when Alice saw her.

I kept alert, unblinkingly staring around, inaudibly, prepared to pounce on her as soon as she was close enough. I would pin her to the ground, and whilst she tried to struggle foolishly, my hand would push upwards against her jaw until her head was no longer connected to her body. And then, then I would tear her apart so easily, ripping out her heart.

Red. Red eyes were watching me from bushes in the distance. For less than a second I stared into the eyes of the bitch, before they vanished as quickly as they'd appeared. Lurching forwards, I tore across the short distance between us, into a small clearing.

She had tried to run, but she was trapped at last; a mouse in a bar-less cage, with Emmett and Carlisle closing in on her from the other side. She suddenly wasn't feeling so confident like before, as she stepped backwards, only closer towards me. Rosalie and Alice had jumped across the tree branches, and landed on her left and right, and finally Edward joined, completing the circle.

Now I could see her properly, the nomad had long brown hair that curled down her back against the black leather jacket. Although her expression was that of amusement, with arched eyebrows and a grin, I could tell what she really felt, which was an underlying of fear.

After turning around a couple of times, turning her head to see the mess she'd got herself into, she focused once again, her scarlet eyes on my glare.

"Hello, Jasper." She smirked, the words rolling off her tongue. "It's good to see you again."


	32. Crime and Punishment

**Jasper**

My eyes narrowed as I did not relax my glare. She knew all the answers, and I was determined to figure them out.

"How do you know me?" I hissed. I wanted to destroy her there and then, but we needed to know if she was still acting alone, or if she'd found another friend.

Her arched eyebrows raised in surprise. "Oh, so you don't remember?" she asked, her grin widening in satisfaction. "That  _is_ interesting."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Edward put a hand to his head for a split second, almost as if he had a headache. I did not say anything to him, though, thinking it wasn't important at that minute.

"Tell us who you are." Carlisle said, keeping his calmness.

She laughed. "I don't believe it. You've been chasing me all this time and you don't even know who I am?"

Rosalie spoke, irritably. "We know who you are. You're trying to kill Tania by setting fire to her house and for some reason you won't leave until she's dead."

The nomad's laughter only continued, high, shrill, and more hysterical. "You think  _I_ did that? What interest would I have in killing a pathetic little human? I can have any human I want that is unprotected. I certainly don't need a small teenager. She'd hardly fulfil my thirst."

I growled. "You attacked her, you started a fire. Don't try to deny it."

"Deny it? I can easily deny it. There's no proof of me doing so. There's no evidence in the slightest." She shook her head. "This whole thing is terribly ridiculous. I have only been passing through here."

"If you are passing through, why have you been here for so long?" Carlisle questioned, suspiciously.

She glanced at him. "It is such a crime to be here? I was unaware you owned this territory. If I bother you so much, why don't you just let me go and I'll leave?"

"No!" I replied, angrily. "We know you're here to kill Tania. She saw you. Enough of these idiotic tricks."

She shook her head, still smiling to herself. "I think the human might have seen someone else-,"

"The scent is no different to yours." I said quickly.

"How do you know I wasn't hanging around in the area at the time and you caught the wrong one?" she pointed out.

"I saw you." Alice cut in. "I saw you corner her in the alley before it happened. And since you already know what I can do because you're constantly trying to avoid it, which means you've gathered information on all of us."

"Why would you do that if you were innocent?" Edward said.

Nervousness was beginning to creep up on the nomad. She couldn't escape the obvious forever. "How do you know dear Alice isn't lying? How can she even be sure she saw me? Maybe," she paused. "You can't remember what the vampire looked like who attacked the human."

Alice's lips suddenly parted in shock and confusion. She put a hand to her head like Edward had done before. Staring at the nomad, her face creased, bewildered. "I don't-," she stammered. "I don't know what they looked like. But it has to be you."

"Does it?" the nomad grinned, mischievously. "Does it really have to be me?"

Alice stood there, trying to figure out what had just happened.

"You have a power." Carlisle deduced, his patience beginning to slip around the edges.

"Well done! Gold star for you, Carlisle!" she clapped her hands.

"You can make people forget whatever you want." said Edward.

Of course, it seemed so obvious now – why we had kept losing her, and going round in circles. Perhaps we had even gotten this far before and she'd made us all forget it. She could have done anything and no one would know. How easily she could have slipped away, like water.

"Enough games. Why are you here?" I demanded.

Her eyes locked onto mine, daringly. "To answer that," she said, "I'll have to start from the beginning." She was no longer smiling, instead staring at me coldly, as if she was talking to me alone.

"My name is Caroline." She paused, like she was expecting me to reply. "No? Nothing?" The vampire smiled. "Wow, I really was desperate then." With a sigh she continued. "I was born in Texas."

Edward opened his mouth, about to say something.

"No, let me finish." She interrupted. "Like I was saying, I was born in Texas, and I had the most perfect life, or at least, as perfect as it could get. You see, I'd fallen in love with the blacksmith's son, and we so often snuck away to make plans for the future. My father wouldn't have been so thrilled with me if he ever found out about us, as he'd already decided whom I was to marry. But one night he wondered where I'd gone and was looking for me. He eventually saw us together behind the stables so he forbade me to ever see the boy, Samuel, again."

Her fists clenched in anger. "So Samuel promised me we would leave, far away, and get married. I was pregnant, so we really had no choice. I refused to marry a man who wasn't the father of my child and who I didn't love. Only on the way, it was dark, deserted… we were attacked.

"Everything went so fast, I couldn't see much, however I saw Samuel trying to resist our enemies. The woman said you could have him, Jasper, because she didn't need him and you were  _so_  thirsty. I watched you drink him dry, and the whole time I tried to scream but couldn't. The woman, Maria bit my neck from behind me.

"After three days of the excruciating burning pain, I opened my eyes, seeing the world in such detail I could not tell whether it was a gift or a curse. Of course, not knowing where I was or what was going on, you explained to me how I was supposed to fight, and how it was an honour." Caroline laughed bitterly.

"But then, as time wore on, I didn't have choices. If I didn't do what was expected of me then I couldn't eat, and the burning in my throat would come back. I had to follow your orders. Until I accidentally used my power for the first time. Only small things at first. I would tell the others secrets and then demand they forget it. I kept my powers hidden, unsure of what would happen to me if you or Maria knew. I had no idea if they would even work on fully grown vampires, not that I had any reason to, since where was I to go? Where was I to feed? I was entirely dependent on you.

"After many, many fights, something changed. Newborns were disappearing, despite my knowledge that they had survived the last battle. By the time I realised what was going on, it was too late, except I had powers that none of the others didn't. In instinct, I forced you to forget who I was, with no idea if it would work, but to my surprise it did. So I escaped.

"At first I tried to find a new place for myself, hunting humans when I got hungry, and trying to learn how to be happy without Samuel as a vampire. But it was difficult. Years after, I heard whispers about a Jasper Whitlock, and then I knew what my purpose was." She smiled. "I cannot be happy, knowing there is someone responsible for what happened to me. I must take my revenge. Tania, your mate, for Samuel, my love."

When Caroline had finished her explanation, I did not shift my gaze from her. What she was saying could not be a lie. It was the only thing that fit what was going on. Even though she had stolen my memories of her from me, I believed she was telling the truth. That was the only thing she was able to do as we had her trapped. She was not going to stop, I realised. She was so keen to get her revenge she would never stop. We had no choice, but to kill her before she did any more damage.

"Caroline," Carlisle spoke. "How can you believe your plan will put an end to your pain?"

She finally took her eyes off me, having been fixed on me the entire time she had told her story. "Oh I don't believe it, but when you are as lost as I am, making the cause of your suffering, endure the hurt you have, then you will do anything to achieve it."

"You know we can't let you go." Edward told her. "Not now we know your intentions."

"I know that, Edward, honey." She smiled. "But you will."

"Can we not come to some kind of agreement?" Carlisle tried to reason with her.

"It's impossible." Rosalie muttered. "We have nothing she wants."

It was the truth. All Caroline seemed to want was Tania dead, and nothing else. If one of us didn't act soon, she would use her power and leave. Perhaps even causing us to completely forget about her and then Tania and Esme would be the only ones who knew her, without even knowing her story. However if we did make a move, there was even more of a risk she'd do something.

We were at a stale mate. And everyone knew so.

"Well?" asked Caroline impatiently. "Isn't someone going to try and kill me?"


	33. Struggle

**Jasper**

For a second, no one dared to move. The tension that had been slowly building as Caroline had revealed who she was, had reached so high I knew someone was bound to do something to trigger a struggle, but it was impossible to tell what was going to happen. The only thing certain, was that it was very likely she'd use her power against a few, or maybe all of us to get her way. After everything that had happened, I wasn't about to underestimate her.

Edward and Alice had looked towards Carlisle, as if hoping he'd hold the answers about what to do next, what the best action would be to take, however Carlisle was just as apprehensive as the rest of us.

Caroline cleared her throat. "So?" she asked, turning around to face each of us. "Are you going to let me go?"

It had really come down to that. She was going to force us to let her go or she'd clear all of our memories of her. If she had been able to get me to forget when she was only a mere newborn, who knew how much she could do. All she had to do was to think to Edward and he'd be trapped, or suggest to Alice without even staring at her directly in the eyes. Now I could see why she told us we'd let her go. Because she wasn't giving us any other options.

But there was no way I would let her stroll away.

"There is nothing we can do." I proclaimed. "We'll have to let her go."

"Jasper," Carlisle tried to protest.

"There is nothing we can do." I repeated. "We either try to kill her which would most likely result in all of us being unable to remember her, and then Tania will die, or we let her go and at least then we will have a chance at protecting her."

Caroline smiled. "You've become wise, Jasper."

I ignored her.

"Can you see anything, Alice?" Edward asked her, on the other side of the circle.

She made eye contact with him, sadly before slowly shaking her head.

"It's settled then, yes?" Caroline smirked, tauntingly. "I am free to go?"

"If you make any move against our family," Carlisle warned her, "we will be forced to take action."

Unfortunately, although Carlisle meant well, if we had been able to take any actions towards her, we would have done so in that clearing covered with snow.

I stepped sideways, leaving a gap in the circle as she stepped forwards. Caroline stopped, dangerously close to me, grinning in her success.

"The funny thing is, Caroline, I was deluded into Maria's plans, and I hated destroying the newborns after they fought." I told her.

"Oh Jasper," she shook her head. "It's really too late for an apology."

She took one last look at all of us, and then turned her back to leave. The most important thing I had ever taught her. If anything, that deserved to be punished.

I propelled myself forwards, locking my arms around her neck. She was not going to get away. The quick reaction didn't even occur to me as being too easy.

Caroline tried to struggle out of my grip, unsuccessfully as I used my own power against her; however it wasn't nearly as easy to calm down a fully grown vampire as it was for a human. If I could knock her out, the problem would be solved.

Alice sprang onto her, trying to help by forcing her mouth open so she couldn't use her power. Emmett was helping restrain her, keeping her from struggling so much. Just as the sounds of her neck began to crack, something ran itself into us.

My hold on her weakened slightly, although Caroline could still not get free. However Alice had let go of her jaw, giving her power back as we had been thrown through the air. Rosalie's fingers groped at her hair, dragging her head towards the ground, but not managing to sever her head from her body.

I could see below, another vampire, trying to force Carlisle away, as well as battling against Emmett on his other side. I slammed into the ground on top of Caroline, giving her no escape as I pushed my hand against her jaw, exactly like I had imagined doing so, but she simply smiled at me with snow covered hair.

"Forget you want to kill me, Jasper." She purred.

My hands released from around her and I got to my feet. Rosalie threw herself at Caroline from behind, but she was ready and pushed her away, running quickly towards the other vampire. He took her hand, despite him having Edward close to ripping off his head, and Emmett trying to restrain him.

Once their skin touched, blue-grey smoke swirled around them before consuming the pair. They evaporated into nothing.

It took me a moment to figure out what she had done and I stood there wondering why I had just suddenly stopped, where my desire to destroy her had gone. I knew I had wanted to, since she wanted to kill Tania, yet I had let her go.

"Is everyone alright?" Carlisle asked, helping Alice stand up.

Out of the corner of my eye she brushed the snow droplets off herself and then Edward wrapped his arms around her, in a tight embrace for a few seconds. Emmett punched a tree in anger, before Rosalie took his hand.

I simply stood there, gathering hatred. If she had truly meant me to stop trying to kill her, Caroline would have used her power against me fully, but she had not. Her will had only been in the moment, a taunt – to let me have a taster of what she could do whilst I still remembered who she was and what she really wanted.

She was being arrogant. Flaunting her gift in front of my face and using it as blackmail. And because of my stupidity at thinking I could stop her then, she had still managed to get away.

But she still made sure we remembered her. That had to be purposeful. Of course, the whole thing had been a trap. To make us think that for a moment we had dominance over her, before turning it around on us and forcing us to let her walk away. She could have left at any time with the help of her friend.

Caroline was a lot more dangerous than I had first thought. Next time we would have to be more prepared, however at least now we knew what we were up against.

"Jasper." Carlisle broke my rapidly running thoughts, standing at my side.

"What can we do, Carlisle?" I asked, hopelessly, although not expecting any kind of satisfactory answer. "She has a friend who can teleport, and she can use her power to make anyone forget. How are we supposed to protect Tania?"

Edward spoke up. "We can run." He suggested. "Get her away from here and then-,"

"And then what, Edward? Use her as bait? It doesn't matter where we are, if they can track us they can just appear wherever they want to."

"We do have some advantages over her." Carlisle said.

"Yes, but she affects both of them. All she has to do is tell Edward to forget in her thoughts." I replied.

"She seems to have an overall effect on my visions, too. I should have seen so many things but I must have forgotten them halfway through or later…" Alice exclaimed in frustration.

Emmett walked over towards us with Rosalie. "We can't just sit here and wait." He growled. "We have to do something."

"The Volturi-," Rosalie started.

"-will see a crime in how Tania knows about us and is only human." Carlisle finished. "They would never waste their time this way."

"Carlisle, she's beyond reason. She's more than all of us can handle…" I listed.

"You think it's your fault?" Edward said to me. "You had no idea any of this would happen."

I shook my head. "Her problem is with me."

Alice frowned. "I think we all need to take a step back to think. She's playing a game, and now it's our move. She's confident, but overly so. I don't think there's a risk she'll try to attack Tania anytime soon because she wants revenge – she wants you to suffer, so she will wait and watch you on edge."

"Alice is right." Carlisle agreed. "Caroline is sure to drag this out slowly, or she wouldn't have told us her intentions."

"So what are we supposed to do now?" Rosalie questioned. "Wait until she attacks?"

"We can't let our guard down." I said hastily.

"And we won't." Carlisle replied. "We shall continue as before, except now we know what she is capable of."


	34. Tension

**Tania**

I was glad to be in the warmth again. Even though I loved the snow, the other best part about winter was being able to snuggle up against a radiator or burry myself in duvets and blankets. Once I'd said goodbye to Jasper, I'd left my scarf and gloves on the radiator by the front door so they'd already be there warm and waiting for me in the morning, before heading straight to the kitchen to get some hot chocolate and something to eat.

Hearing Esme and my mother talking in the small living room, I said hello, but didn't spend very long talking to them. They had been getting on really well ever since she'd gotten out of hospital, and Esme frequently visited. I wondered whether she had become good friends to hide how there was always one of the Cullens watching the house, or whether she genuinely wanted to be. Although, I didn't mind either way, since she was one of the sweetest women on the planet.

As difficult as it was, I tried not to dwell on how Jasper and the others were getting on with hunting the nomad vampire. Part of me wanted them to find her, but the other part of me was anxious for their safety. Surely, since they completely outnumbered her, they would have an outstanding advantage against her?

Hours went by, and so Esme had to leave when it got too late to be deemed socially acceptable. I caught a glimpse of her outside from my window, though, and whispered her a thank you.

By the time Jasper got back, it had been dark for a long time, getting closer to when I needed to go to bed if I wanted to get up in time for school. There had been times before where he hadn't come back in the evenings, but he usually told me when he wouldn't, or at least send me a message.

He threw a small stone at the window, letting me know he was there. I opened it so he could jump up.

His hair was dark and wet because he had showered, and that wasn't a good sign considered where he'd been that evening. It meant he must have gotten in either a chase or a fight, or some kind of violence.

"How did it go?" I questioned.

Jasper didn't answer me right away, instead pulling me into a hug, breathing in deeply, as if he hadn't seen me in a month.

"Jasper?" I tried again, wanting to know what had happened. What had gone on in the woods?

"We found her." He spoke at last, sounding almost tired. "We had her cornered… but she got away."

"Away?" I asked, confused. "How?"

He shook his head. "Caroline. Her name's Caroline. She's trying to get revenge for the wars… she was a newborn. And she escaped. I fed from her fiancé and she thinks to be happy she has to kill you. That's why she wants you dead."

Wordlessly I found myself stumbling backwards and sitting on the edge of my bed in the corner. "How did she escape?" I muttered in a daze, unable to process what I Jasper was explaining to me.

"Her power… to make people forget whatever she wants for as long as she wants – she made me forget about trying to kill her, and then her friend came who can disappear somewhere and reappear somewhere else… teleportation." Jasper exclaimed.

He swallowed. "Tania, she's not going to stop. There is nothing left. Alice's visions are affected, and so are Edward's powers. The only advantage we have is that we know about her, her friend and what their gifts are. Caroline is determined to watch me suffer by killing you." Jasper dropped to his knees. "We can't go away without them finding us. We can't attack them with their weapons. I don't know how to protect you. I'm so sorry, Tania, I'm so sorry."

And then he rested his head in my lap, and I was sure that if he could, he was weeping. Having never once seen Jasper get so overcome by emotion, it only caused me to start to silently cry, running my fingers through his drying hair.

"Stop." I finally whispered, putting a hand over my mouth to suppress a sob.

He looked up at me with his hopeless amber eyes.

"We're going to get through this." I said, taking a breath. "Neither of us should have thought this was going to be easy, I mean," I paused to take another quick breath. "A vampire and a human… together? None of this was supposed to be simple, but there is always something, Jasper, there must be something we can do." My hands moved across my face as I tried to dry my eyes. "What if… what if I had to become a vampire. Then I would be harder to kill."

Jasper shook his head again. "No, it wouldn't help. She could still destroy you as a vampire if she wanted to."

"Then why hasn't she killed me yet, if she has all these resources?" I asked, still trying to stop the never-ending flow of tears coming from my eyes.

"Because she wants me to suffer, or she wouldn't have told me her plans. She wants to drag it out."

I tried to take longer breaths to calm myself down so I could think straight. "Then while she's drawing out my death, jump in before it's too late."

"I will," he told me. "If I can remember."

That made me laugh for a second, although then I just cried some more, thinking why it had to be us and why nothing else but killing me would make Caroline happy. Now she had a name and story to go with the face, everything felt a lot more real, and therefore a lot scarier than only a few hours ago.

I pretty much cried myself to sleep that night, with Jasper holding onto me protectively, as if at any moment someone was going to appear and vanish with me.

The idea of waiting for her to do something terrified me half to death already. She could be hiding around any corner, preparing to spring herself at me. Would Jasper and the others even be able to do anything once she had me in her clutches? If she wanted to make him watch, like Jasper explained to me her whole story of how she watched her lover die… perhaps then there was an advantage. But when, and where? We had so much more information about her, and yet we were still so covered in darkness.

In the morning, Jasper asked me to stay rather than go to school. I wanted to say yes so badly, but it wouldn't have made any difference wherever I went, which he'd pointed out to me the previous night.

Tiredly, I dressed, cleaned my teeth, brushed my hair, everything I usually did, feeling like I was no longer attached to my body, drifting around automatically.

Edward and Alice picked us up. Jasper jumped out the window and pretended he had been in the car the whole time while I said goodbye to my mother. She had been surprised by my sudden hug, but with everything going on with the fire and the move, she must have connected the two dots, missing the obvious blot somewhere to the right of them.

From that moment on, the watchful eyes of the Cullens were even more so than they had been before, carefully making sure someone was always around. Most of the time it was Jasper, but he could only be around me for so long before needing to hunt. His eyes were rarely golden, though, usually a darker brown or black, as he didn't linger on his hunting trips for long, slowly starving himself until I protested.

The school buzz of Christmas spirit leaked in near the end of November as the shops stocked up with offers and gift ideas. People were happier as the halfway point of the school year became closer and everyone was just happier around Christmas time.

However, my mood did not change, especially at the thought that the Christmas drawing closer might be my last, if I even lived that long.

Caroline really was making Jasper suffer, simply by prolonging how long she was taking before she was going to attack me. Despite her messing with Alice's power, Alice caught sight of her still in the area, but looking a lot more comfortable than before…

The same question circled around my head, repeating itself over and over. How was this going to end?

Although I had suggested it, the thought of me becoming a vampire didn't appeal. Obviously, I wanted to spend eternal life with Jasper, finally able to experience how he really felt, and being able for him to be around me without the blood-lust. But I wanted children, and family, of which I had no clue how that was going to work out.

After thinking about it for so long, I only ended up frustrating myself with questions I couldn't answer, and dilemmas I couldn't solve. And then I'd usually feel like crying except there'd always be someone around to hear me. I thought it better if I tried to stay strong. At least then, only Jasper was the one able see through my façade.


	35. Nerves

**Jasper**

Everyone was pretty much irritated, impatient and miserable. I wondered whether I had done the right thing to tell Tania everything, however when I thought about it, telling the truth was always the best way. The information was going to come out eventually, and it was far better she'd heard it from me, then a messed up version from Caroline

I did regret telling her like I had done, wishing I had at least tried to compose myself. My hopeless recklessness had probably done more damage than good, revealing just how little there was we could do.

So although Tania wallowed, well tried to when she didn't think I was watching, she was glad when Mr Gates arranged a date for our group to perform the play everyone was getting sick of. When the world around her crumbled, Tania invested herself into her school work, exclaiming that her life couldn't stop just because someone wanted to murder her.

We spent the day of the performance in the drama hall, as the teacher had requested all other lessons that day to be cancelled so that we could get in the last few hours rehearsing. After a few run thoughts, Anna and Craig seemed to take charge, with Amber watching them as they experimented with some scenes. It was fair enough, since they were the leads.

Jason made sure to keep his distance from me, pretending he was interested in what the others were doing, although glancing at me every other minute until he saw me look back at him, sending a shudder down his spine.

As the light darkened outside, Anna, Amber and the guys began to get jitters about how fast time was going and soon we'd be assessed. They decided to go for a short walk to get some food and gain back their energy. Tania didn't feel too happy when they asked us if we were coming with them, so we stayed behind.

"Nervous?" she joked when the door had swung shut, rummaging through her bag for a tin of pringles.

"Maybe." I gave her a smile. "What if I drop a line?"

She rolled her eyes, jumping up onto the edge of the stage to sit beside me. "Then you'll have to improvise. Haven't you learnt anything this year?" Tania ate one of the crisps. "Besides, I'll fantastically save the day." She laughed. "Sorry, I always get like this on the night."

I didn't mind. It made a great change to see her happy about something.

We did a line rehearsal before the others got back, where we simply sat on the edge of the stage saying our lines, and then when it got to the kissing scene we may have actually done that one properly.

The others came back, laughing and eating on their way through the doors, followed a few minutes later by Mr Gates who decided to give us a small pep talk. He turned on the lights, telling us we had enough time so we should have a quick dress rehearsal before our audience arrived.

Tania and the girls took a lot longer to get changed than the guys did. I assumed they were fussing over make-up, and although Tania didn't tend to wear it excessively, Anna had undoubtedly taken charge again, telling her what to do, which was evident when she walked back in.

Her hair looked shorter, almost touching her bare shoulders as it had been curled elegantly. She was wearing a dark green shiny dress, flowing outwards to her knees, and her eyes were outlined in black. Her soft lips were painted with dark violet.

Anna and Amber were also wearing dresses, however different colours – Anna's was red, and Amber's purple. Both of them had curled their hair, also.

Jason wolf whistled, causing Amber to blush and Anna to smack him.

"You look beautiful." I told Tania, who smiled shyly.

"As do you." She replied with a giggle.

The motivation that had been lost throughout the day seemed to return as we all rehearsed for the last time. Even Craig, who had been lazy that afternoon, gave his lines with more effort.

At last, when we were done, Mr Gates rushed us backstage, giving us a longer pep talk which he seemed to have been saving until then. He wished us luck, and then went to open the doors as people had started to appear.

Anna and Amber exchanged excited and nervous whispers, peeking through a gap in the side of the curtain, while Jason and Craig were hurriedly going over a worn out copy of the script, checking their lines. Tania nervously sat in one of the chairs, tapping her foot quietly.

I heard the voices of Carlisle and Esme conversing with Tania's mother. Apparently Edward and Alice were there, as well… and Rosalie and Emmett.

So they'd all had nothing better to do than watch me attempt to do drama. Of course, they were there to help protect Tania and her mother so watching me in a play seemed to come with the package. Still.

After waiting for everyone to pile in, Mr Gates gave an enthusiastic introduction, and then the curtains opened.

Unfortunately, we didn't even get to the third scene before Craig dropped a line, causing Amber to have to somehow improvise around it, exhaling deeply once she was back in the wings.

When I was my turn to make an entrance, I took a quick glance at the audience to see my family sitting the front row. During the scene Rosalie was trying so hard not to laugh at me, she had to hum as quietly as she could with a hand over her mouth, while Edward and Emmett snickered at the right parts.

Tania gracefully kept in character, although her eyes gave it away when she stared up at me. Towards the end of the play we reached the scene where we had to kiss, and the audience cheered and applauded.

Somehow the six of us made it through, with a couple of minor errors, and we hurried back on stage to take our bows. Alice threw a fake bunch of flowers at my feet, laughing, while Rosalie was still trying to keep her giggles under control.

Perhaps taking drama hadn't been such a curse after all.

* * *

 

**Tania**

I loved the exhilarating feeling of having performed a finished piece. It made me feel so much better about myself, and greatly took my mind of the things I didn't particularly want to think about for a few hours.

Aside from some slip ups, I thought the play had gone tremendously well, and Mr Gates certainly seemed to think so, too, as he applauded us and congratulated us as we got off the stage.

Anna and Amber hugged me tightly, both beaming at me, and I grinned back at them. Even Craig and Jason told Jasper he'd done well, even though Jason was still a bit wary of him.

"Tania! You were wonderful!" my mother cried, giving me a hug.

"I didn't know you could be so flirtatious." Emmett mocked.

I shook my head. "I'm going to take that as a complement."

"You were great, Tania." Esme smiled warmly. "And so were you, Jasper."

"Excellent." Carlisle agreed.

"I should get changed." I exclaimed, in some sort of euphoric daze, heading to the bathroom with Anna and Amber who walked laughing with linked arms.

They didn't get a chance to get back into their normal clothes, though, as Anna's sister followed in and started talking about something Craig was doing and the three of them ran off while I began to wipe off my make-up.

I had only just done my eyes though, when the door to the bathroom opened again and neither Amber or Anna or Anna's sister walked in, causing my heart to jump for a split second.

The person who had stepped into the bathroom was only Alice, and I let out the breath I'd been holding. She had just come to check on me since I was apparently taking a while. I told her I was fine, and so she said she'd wait for me outside.

When she had gone I reached down to splash some water on my face, but when I looked up I could see in the reflection of the mirror, someone behind me, watching me. A man who I'd never seen before.

Fear flooded though me, with one glance at his deep crimson eyes. The door burst open as Alice threw herself forwards towards us, but she was too late.

The moment the stranger's skin had contact with mine; some strange liquid-like greyish blue smoke swirled around us. Everything moved too quickly for me to try and resist his grip on my wrist. Part of me was too shocked to move.

His intense cold stare down at me, made me feel like he could see into my soul, and even though I had no idea if he really was, I knew he was the one working with Caroline. She had finally come to take me away.

I was going to die.


	36. Taken

**Jasper**

Barely a minute had passed before Alice took off after Tania to the girls' bathroom. Edward frowned, looking at the ground as if he was trying to work something out.

"Edward?" I asked, fearful something may be going on.

"Alice… she thought she saw the forest for a second and then she didn't get to see… she thought something was going to happen and then it changed. It's so confusing…" he trailed off, not looking up.

Carlisle was suddenly worried. However it was already too late.

In that moment I heard the familiar thumping of Tania's heart in her chest, counting down how long she had left to live.

"Tania's gone, he took her! He came from nowhere!" I heard Alice's voice.

No. Not yet. Caroline couldn't have my Tania, not then, not ever.

Alice burst back in through the doors and I rushed past her, despite Carlisle's attempts at beckoning me back. There was nothing I could do and I knew, but I didn't want to believe it.

Apart from Tania's bag on the floor, the girls' bathroom was completely empty.

Storming back into the drama hall, I wanted to scream. How were we supposed to find someone who avoided Alice's visions and Edward's thoughts, who could disappear and reappear wherever they wanted? The only way we would ever find Tania was if Caroline wanted us to, and then it would be a trap.

Tania's mother was also coming back over to the group after conversing with Mr Gates, asking if anyone had seen her daughter. Alice quickly made up a story that she said she'd had a headache so she had stepped outside for a minute to get some air. The story would work, for now. How were we supposed to cover it up? Reveal the truth – that she had really gone outside and someone must have taken her? How long would it be until we even got her back?

Nevertheless, she headed off through the doors to try and find her. None of us could stop her, and it was probably best we didn't, although Alice went with her, glancing back at us.

"I let her out of my sight for five seconds-," I started, angry at myself.

"This isn't your fault." Esme said firmly.

"It doesn't matter what happened before," Carlisle pointed out. "It's what we do now that counts."

"We should go to the woods. She's going to want to force me to watch her die. There is no other area where she could do that and be so closed off." I exclaimed speedily.

"Emmett and I will head towards the city. She was running around there before." Rosalie suggested, her face now completely serious.

"We can't all go off at once." Esme said, worriedly. "We have to think of something to tell her mother."

The six of us exchanged glances, but none of us spoke.

"We can't tell her the truth." said Edward.

"But what can we say as a lie?" Rosalie asked.

"Perhaps Esme and I should stay. None of us have to know anything about this. We can offer to look for Tania." Carlisle spoke.

"And then?" questioned Emmett.

 _And then if this goes horribly wrong, there won't be a police report of all the gruesome details,_  I thought, bitterly.

"We'll just have to go along with it." Esme said sadly, taking Carlisle's hand.

I ran to the woods. The sky never really seemed to completely submerge the surroundings in darkness, giving off a very dark orange from the pollution from the city. Stars were not so visible, but it was also winter and so the clarity of the sky was less. My eyes stayed alert as I glanced around, observing the tiniest detail in case I saw even a whisper of the smoke.

I did not follow the scent of Caroline, for she was so difficult to catch, and so deceitful. Instead I breathed in, searching for the smallest sign of Tania's.

Nothing.

I deepened into the woods, smelling almost every tree, desperate to find something, even if the other nomad had disappeared soon after. I could not believe there wouldn't be a trail.

Hoping I would be able to find something up high, I climbed a tree, balancing sloppily on the branches, not caring about leftover snow and ice. Some birds fluttered away nearby, having been startled by my hunt.

From above I could see the small forest was still aside from the slight whisper of leaves in the breeze. Caroline, her friend, and my Tania were nowhere to be seen. No blue smoke, no pounding heartbeat of fear, no emotions. Nothing. It was like she had completely disappeared from the Earth.

I ran for hours around the trees, circling the woods in different directions, checking everywhere once, twice, three times. Edward, who had been pretty much around the whole town, down alleyways, to deserted houses, joined me, confessing he had not found anything either.

There was not even a sign, and I wondered how far they had gone. They could be on the other side of the world for all I knew, and scouring the area may be completely pointless.

Finally, we all met up on the outskirts of the woods. None of their emotions implied anyone had seen anything, which wasn't helpful.

"This is hopeless." Edward said, bluntly. "They could have gone anywhere. Caroline isn't going to reveal herself until she wants to."

"Maybe so," replied Carlisle, "But there is still every chance we'll find them somewhere."

"We haven't been able to find any sign in the city." Rosalie said.

"Or in the area." I growled.

Alice suddenly gasped.

Edward quickly fixated his eyes on her, probably determined to know what she had seen before Caroline's power affected her, however this time, Alice didn't forget. The vampire hadn't wanted her to.

"In the clearing, like before, I recognise the place – it's where we trapped her. Caroline and the other vampire, they're holding her as their prisoner. She's about to make you watch her die." She blurted out, rapidly.

"Do you know when?" Carlisle asked her.

She shook her head. "No, wait," she changed her mind. "The snow, it's starting to melt properly. It's light – during the day, maybe tomorrow."

That was the last thing I heard, before I was running again, towards the clearing where the nightmare had seemed to begin. There I stood on the branch of a tree above, gripping tightly onto the bark, and there I waited for my love.


	37. Caged

**Tania**

When the greyish blue smoke subsided, I had no clue where I was. At the surprise of being somehow in the girls bathroom and then somewhere else I fell backwards onto the floor, one of my black high heels slipping off onto the brown carpet.

It seemed to be some sort of fancy room, one that belonged in a castle or a mansion. Everything looked dusty, old and moth eaten, so it had to be very old. So old that I quickly gathered it had to be deserted so Caroline and her friend could use it to hide me.

Why? Why would they need to hide me there? Is that where they intended to lure the Cullens and Jasper to? Before she killed me? But then why do it then? Why not just lead them to the woods with a hand to my throat, threatening to kill me if they came any closer.

Nothing made sense, but I didn't have long to think about what Caroline's intentions were as I drew my legs to my chest on the floor, not caring about my dress anymore. The other vampire was nowhere to be seen, and so he must have evaporated as soon as he'd dropped me there.

The old wooden door on one wall of peeling wallpaper was closed and I didn't bother trying it. The window was boarded up, which meant the place was definitely abandoned, and that I had no chance of trying to figure out where I was. There was a bed in the room, but other than that the room was empty of anything.

All I could do was to sit in the dim light created from the small lamp with the lead trailing from under the door. There must have been a generator somewhere.

I tried to sit as quietly as I could; straining my ears in case there had been a small sound I had missed. If only they would speak to each other… maybe from behind the door. Perhaps then I'd hear something about what they were planning to do with me.

It wasn't long until my questions were answered.

The smoke appeared again, swirling a few feet in front of me where the other vampire had dropped me before. Only this time, he was not alone. Caroline released her hand from his arm, smiling gleefully down at me.

"Don't be scared, honey," she cooed, crouching down to my level.

I slid back across the floor, determined to keep as much distance between us as possible.

Caroline only smiled wider, slowly reaching out towards me, forcing me to go back so far as to hit my back against the wall on the other side of the room where the boarded up windows were.

"You have to promise me something, Tania." She said, making me feel sick. "Promise me not to scream too loudly." Caroline whispered.

Her hands slid up my bare arms, making me shiver under her touch. Her fingers closed on my shoulders, strongly, so much that they hurt. And then suddenly her mouth was at my neck.

Her teeth ripped through my flesh, and burning pain spread instantly from my neck and then gradually down my torso and limbs, till it was circulating throughout my entire body.

I struggled, roughly against her in panic as she continued to growl and induce more and more pain, refusing to let go, until finally she released her hands, pulling herself backwards. Caroline wiped my blood from her lips and mouth with the back of her hand, grinning, watching me as I squirmed and writhed in pain uncontrollably.

She turned her back and walked away, taking the other vampire's arm and disappearing once more into the smoky shadows.

 _Stop!_ I wanted to scream.  _Come back!_  But it was too late. Caroline was gone.

I wondered for a while, what she had done to me. I concluded that it had to be poison of some kind rushing through my veins, before I stupidly realised I was becoming a vampire. That was the transition. I remembered Jasper telling me about how he became a vampire. Maria had bitten him, causing him to endure blinding, burning pain for seventy two hours straight.

And now I was suffering that same fate.

This wasn't supposed to happen. Not yet. I was supposed to have a life, have children and a family. I was supposed to have a successful career and appreciate every day of my life – every minute. Things I knew I had lost the moment I gave my love to Jasper. Of course, how could I still have all of those things if I wanted to be with him? The only way our relationship could have worked was if I changed into a vampire like he had and then wandered with him through eternity.

With no family left after my mother passed on following my father, and no children to carry on the line. I had been my mother's last chance at grandchildren she so longed to see. She had told me years ago, something I never forgot - how she pictured me with a large family, a husband and children, and a cute little dog.

But would I even have the chance of spending centuries with Jasper, if Caroline intended to destroy me? Jasper had told me when he had found out who Caroline was and what she wanted to do to me, that my being a vampire wouldn't change anything. It would only make me harder to kill. Well I was going to make damn sure I was hard to kill. I knew newborns were stronger than fully grown vampires. Stronger so I could overpower her. If she didn't get to me first, anyway.

I had ended up with my back on the floor, lying down so I was facing the ceiling, although I could not control my instinctive struggles against the pain, as if thinking if I moved around as much as possible, changing position every few seconds, I could somehow lessen the pain. But even though I knew it was pointless, I still writhed.

My muffled chocking and gasps for air to sooth the burning in my throat didn't work either, and soon the fiery poison was so harsh against my insides I was screaming, unable to speak properly, but maybe thinking someone would hear me, that maybe someone would come. Not that they would be able to do anything to ease my pain anyway.

I had no clue how much time had passed, or how quickly it was passing considering that I had no clock, but twice a small splinter of light leaked through the edges of one of the boards on the window, and when it had come through for the third time I guessed my pain would soon come to an end. Well, the burning flames inside me would.

My guesses were right, because eventually the fire died down enough so that I could feel the floor again. It was slow, but it was leaving me, and I was thankful for the soft relief.

Maybe I would be able to break free once I gained back the ability to move at my own free will? The boards on the windows would be no match for the super strength of a vampire. Or the door. The windows were closer, though.

But Caroline was already back with her friend, whoever he was. He never seemed to speak, simply staring down at me, as if he had a reason to hate me.

Caroline knelt down beside me, smiling, running her fingers through my hair which had uncurled from three days ago.

I forced my eyes shut, waiting out the pain, trying to ignore the feel of her fingers stroking my hair, wanting to bite each of them off, one by one. The fire finally stopped circling my body and travelled upwards towards my throat, which was where it settled angrily.

My eyes quickly snapped open and in less than a second I was standing at the adjacent wall, hissing and spitting at Caroline. "Stay away from me!" I ordered. "Let me go!"

She didn't so much as flinch against my words. "Tania, I didn't want to have to do this, but you leave me no choice." She said. "For now, I want you to forget your instinct and how to move."

Her power kicked in before I even had time to do anything. Immediately I feel to the floor, unable to hold my hands out to stop myself falling flat on my face.

Out of the corner of my eye, since I could not even move my eyes, I saw her stride over towards me in the short distance. I was amazed at how much I could see. Somehow I saw every single speck of dust in the room, and every strand of material on the bed, in the carpet, the speckles of water on her boots. She kicked me with her foot, rolling me over onto my back so I was facing the ceiling again like before, and she bend down so she was in my direct line of sight.

Caroline tutted. "I hoped you'd be a bit more loyal towards your creator, but there you go. Ungrateful teenagers these days…" she shook her head. "Tania, you will forget your love for Jasper, because honey," she paused, smirking, "you are going to fight for me, and it will be an honour."


	38. Third Light

**Jasper**

Tania didn't appear the next morning. In the tree I waited all day, not even daring to blink lest I miss something. As the nights were longer and the days shorter, there was not as long a wait during the day, which was when I was most on edge. It was as if they would appear at any time, and I had to be ready for them so I could attack. I debated inside me whether it was best they knew I was there, and be prepared for me, or if I went away. I didn't think I could carry out the second option even if I wanted to. I wouldn't move. I just wouldn't.

Carlisle and Edward found me minutes after I'd run off back to the clearing at our first encounter with Caroline. Carlisle had perched on the branch beside me, questioning whether it was a good idea we waited for her, but I couldn't find it within myself to suggest any other way in which to hunt her down and get Tania back in one piece.

On the second day, my nerves increased more so. What was she waiting for? Why was Caroline taking so long with her? It crossed my mind that she might be torturing her, trying to cause her as much pain and trauma as possible so that she could show me what she had done without distracting herself from the rest of us while she tried to end her life in front of me. Perhaps she would make Tania forget me? No, that would be too easy. The best way to see me suffer would be to make Tania suffer and plead me, beg me with her eyes, with her cries and screams while I would be forced to do nothing.

On the third light, Carlisle came to me again, balancing on the other branch, feeling anxious and sad, watching me.

"The snow is melting properly." I exclaimed, in a small voice, echoing Alice's words from days previous.

He turned his head, looking down. "The others will be here soon. You do not have to do this alone, Jasper." He told me, bringing his golden eyes back to my face, although I kept mine fixed on the ground below.

"Thanks, Carlisle." I managed to say.

I heard the others running to the clearing, and although I didn't see, I could hear some climbing across trees and others down on the ground, so at last they were surrounding the clearing, leaving Carlisle and I the closest. I could only see Alice and Edward ahead of me, each in their own tree.

We all waited there that night. I still was unable to take my eyes off the clearing covered in melting snow and ice.

At soon as the sun started to appear in the East, my anxiety flooded back, worse than before. The time was coming, I knew.

A couple of hours passed and the light steadily grew as the sun rose. And then it happened.

The familiar smoke leaked into the air seemingly from nothing, and I crouched, reading to leap down and rip Caroline's head off. Somehow watching the small twister felt like such a long time.

However neither her teleporting friend, nor Tania appeared which meant he could drop off others wherever he wanted. Caroline smirked and turned her gaze upwards at me, still in the tree.

"Jasper, I thought I'd see you around here again." She declared. "Why don't you get down here and then we can talk?"

I growled in anger, jumping down onto the rapidly melting snow, staring at her in despise.

"And all of you as well, get down here." She said, not taking her piercing scarlet eyes off me.

They did as she said, jumping down from the trees or running across closer into the clearing.

"Where's Tania?" Carlisle asked, although it was more of a demand than a question. He too, had let his patience go. Now it was all about destroying Caroline and getting Tania to safety.

Caroline continued to smirk, and raised a hand to shoulder level. She clicked her fingers.

The smoke churned back into the clearing, loyally beside her position on the slightly raised ground below her feet. The other vampire stood there and in his arms he roughly held a limp Tania.

Her head had lulled backwards, but her eyes were wide open. I had no idea if she was aware of what was going on, but there was no mistaking what she was.

A vampire.

Her skin was pale, leaving no traces of her humanity, contrasting with her bright red eyes, staring at the sky. She was even still wearing the green dress, although now it was stained in her blood near her neck where Caroline had bit her.

"Do you have any idea what you've done?" I hissed, horrified, but angry.

She cackled. "Of course I do, I've changed her into one of us. Isn't it obvious?" she rolled her eyes. "I thought you were smarter than that."

In white hot fury, I tried to lash out against her, however Carlisle held out an arm to stop me, not needing to say that if I went any closer, she could disappear along with any chance of getting Tania back.

Caroline grinned, widely, revealing her sharp white teeth. "Let her down." She ordered.

The other vampire did so, although he didn't set her down, he dropped her in a heap in the puddle of the remains of the ice and snow, causing a large splash. Tania lay motionless, unable to do anything about it. I fiercely growled at Caroline.

"What are you hoping to get out of this?" Esme asked, horrified.

Caroline licked her lips. "Oh, it's simple. Tania, dear, you can move again now."

Tania almost immediately sprung to a standing position, holding her hands to her throat, not seeming to care she was covered in her own blood. Half gasping for air, half hissing at Caroline, her eyes darted around across everyone standing in the clearing.

She did not hold her gaze upon me.

I was suddenly scared. What if Caroline had made her forget about me?

"Jasper, come forward." She demanded, motioning with her finger, patronisingly.

I didn't move.

"Or we'll leave." Caroline added.

She left me no choice. I took some steps towards them. The unnamed vampire took a few steps back, watching intently.

I could not take my eyes off Tania. She was so angry, yet so terrified, eyes continuing to flicker across her surroundings. She couldn't stand still, one hand against her throat and then the other. Her shoes had gone, leaving just her bare feet in the puddle.

"You're going to fight to the death." Caroline exclaimed. "Unless everyone here wants to forget every memory they've ever had."

"I thought you wanted to kill her in front of me." I said quieter than I had meant to, not looking away from Tania's frantic movements.

She hummed casually. "I thought about it, and I changed my mind. This will be much more fun to watch." I heard her turn towards the others. "Oh and don't get any ideas, because my friend will be watching."

Caroline stepped back, behind Tania so she could have a clearer view of my face. After all, she wanted to see me suffer.

"I don't want to hurt you." I murmured to Tania, however she didn't seem to care.

Whatever Caroline had done to her had turned her into something I would never have been able to imagine. She hissed at me, preparing herself for the fight, finally removing the hands from her throat. Instinct was setting in.

"Come on, Tania, kill him." Caroline said, gently, and then when Tania failed to carry out her orders, she repeated it with more force. "Come on, Tania." She pressured.

Tania stood her ground, looking back at Caroline ferociously, before turning her head back towards me.

"Kill him!" Caroline cried. "Kill him!"

In all the ways I had thought about how it might end, this way had not crossed my mind. When after living through all those years, decades, over a century, I had found my mate, for now I knew she was since she had turned, and now either I had to kill her and then have Caroline kill me, or she had to kill me and have Caroline kill her. Of course we would both die, no matter who destroyed who in the fight.

"Kill him!" Caroline yelled.

So Tania obeyed, and advancing towards me.


	39. Pain

**Jasper**

Tania threw herself at me, forcing me to the ground. I didn't bother trying to fight back. I couldn't -  _wouldn't_  - kill her.

Her anger rose inside her, but I was confused. Had Caroline brain washed her? Made her believe that I was evil and should be killed? Did she somehow implant into her the idea that I had done something to hurt her to make her angry towards me? The emotion had been there before, before Caroline had told her to kill me. So why was it rising?

"What are you waiting for?" Caroline shouted. "Get it over with! Do it!"

With her hands around my neck, Tania stopped.

"No." She snarled with a hiss, releasing the pressure upon my skin.

And then she jumped on top of Caroline, letting out a hissing, growling cry as Caroline, suddenly fearful, tried to back away.

However Tania was too quick for her, pressing her hands onto her shoulders trying to pin her to the ground.

The other vampire tried to intervene, seeing what was going on, but Emmett who was closest to him grabbed his waist and threw him backwards over his head and onto the ground.

The nomad disappeared, teleporting to the other side of Caroline, who was still trying to keep on her feet, struggling against Tania's attempts to claw at her neck.

I roughly caught him, with my arm around his shoulders, and then Edward tried to bend his head far enough back for his neck to snap open, although he teleported again, a few feet away. Carlisle reached forwards, managing to grab at his hair before he got away again.

This time it was Rosalie and Alice. Rosalie pulled at one of his arms and there was a loud crack signalling that she had been successful. Edward quickly got out his lighter and started a fire, setting the arm up in flames so it couldn't reattach itself to it's owner. The nomad, who had been crying out in pain, flashed across the clearing, only staying in one place for a second before disappearing again.

Finally Emmett got one of his legs, and he was unable to stand, tumbling across the puddles, until finally he fell too close to the fire so that Alice could push him in. Flames spread across what was left of him, causing his screams to become louder, echoing in the clearing. His power stopped working for him. He crashed to the ground, motionless as fire engulfed his head.

Although Tania hadn't managed to get Caroline to the ground, she had pulled her head back so far she couldn't speak. Whimpering pathetically, Caroline hadn't seen it coming. She hadn't been prepared for the rebellion.

With a final jolt, Tania separated Caroline's head from her jaw in rage. She tossed it aside, however she wasn't done yet. Next she stood on Caroline's torso, and pulled off her arms, and then her legs, one at a time.

When she was done, she turned away, walking a few paces. I began to follow, as her emotions hit me all at once, like some kind of invisible force. Her anger had melted away, leaving only despair and indescribable grief. She dropped to the ground.

Tania let out a long, and terrible wail, wrapping her arms around her, hugging herself, leaning forward whilst with her knees in icy snow. Although my heart had long stopped beating, it flipped, her desperate, hopeless cries somehow penetrating through my chest. I wanted to wail, too.

Edward set the corpse on fire, as Emmett and Rosalie gathered the pieces of the remains of Caroline.

I cautiously approached Tania, unsure as to what she would remember, however her emotions were so overpowering inside me it was as if there was a heavy weight on my shoulders.

Kneeling on the ground in front of her, she had stopped crying, holing her hands to her throat again like before, shaking her head, staring at the ice, whispering the word "no" over and over.

"Tania." I whispered softly, trying to be as gentle as possible. I reached a hand towards her, but didn't quite touch the pale skin of her shoulder.

"It wasn't supposed to be like this!" she screamed, sending birds flying from trees in the distance.

I didn't dare move my hand any further, retracting back.

Her face screwed up in anguish, before she covered it with her hands in sheer agony. "You can't see me like this, Jasper. You can't. I can't – a vampire…" she trailed off, shaking her head. "No." she mumbled again.

"Tania, look at me." I murmured. "Please."

She shook her head, still, keeping her face covered. I reached for her again with both hands, towards hers that time, with my eyes fixed on her. My skin made contact with hers, but she didn't lash out at me violently, surprised, perhaps by how I wasn't cold to her anymore.

Very slowly I pulled her hands away from her face, relieved she wasn't trying to push me away. Finally she made eye contact with me, and relaxed, though only slightly. "Tania, it's ok." I told her, trying to be reassuring.

She took a breath of the cold air. "I was my mother's last hope of grandchildren." She whispered.

I paused. "I'm so sorry," was all I could say.

Tania started to sob, looking back down at the floor again, tearlessly crying. I wanted to say something, do something, to lessen her pain. I couldn't bear to watch, and yet I couldn't look away. As soon as I tried to do something, however, she asked me to stop.

"I deserve it." She mumbled.

Shocked, my lips parted. "You didn't deserve any of this." I told her firmly, refusing my instincts telling me to stay back, and embraced her, holding her close to me.

I glanced at the others, who had faithfully stayed with us in the clearing in the woods, either watching with pity or trying not to look, standing around the fire.

After she seemed to calm herself down a little more, she pulled back, staring up at my face, and then reaching one of her hands towards my cheek to trace one of the scars I had obtained from newborn wars a century ago.

"I could never see these before." She said quietly.

"They're only visible for vampires." I replied, stroking her hand.

Suddenly she put her hands to her throat again, gasping.

"You haven't fed?"

Tania shook her head, trembling.

"Then you need to." I said, getting to my feet.

She followed suit, stilling clutching at her neck. Hopefully once she had gained control of her thirst she would be able to explain what she could remember, and maybe then we could all start putting the whole thing to rest.


	40. Ideas

**Tania**

I probably would have thought about it more if I wasn't solely focused on the white hot burning of the inside of my throat. I vaguely remembered before, when I was human, what it could have been like for Jasper when he hunted. But that was before… before I hadn't really considered the process. Sure, he was supposed to be a bloodthirsty creature of the night, but to me he was the complete opposite. The night when he had cornered me in the dark had been so long ago, I could hardly recall it. And even then he hadn't  _done_  anything.

As thirsty as I was, part of me was excited to get rid of the pain, while a small part of me was worried and anxious about what it would be like. Perfectly natural, except the weirdest thing I had even heard of.

Soon, though, Jasper had led me away from the small fire, and then we broke out into a run, sprinting through the woods at lightning speed. My bare feet, which on melting ice and snow mixed with frozen mud, should have been so cold, but in my small green dress I was immune to the zero degrees.

The speed of the run threw my hair back, and I couldn't help but smile at the ability to run in the freezing cold and not even need to stop for five minutes to catch my breath. I didn't even need to breathe. I could run forever, literally, and it felt wonderful.

Suddenly Jasper stopped, so I slowed to a standstill. I inhaled so I could ask why, but then I quickly realised. I listened.  _Thump, thump, thump_. An animal's quick heartbeat. And that was when instinct took over.

Speeding ahead to position myself behind a tree, staring intently at a deer for half a second, I heard Jasper whisper "go for the neck," from behind me. I didn't need to be told twice.

By the time another second had passed, I had thrown myself out of my hiding place behind the tree, and the poor animal didn't know what had hit it, suddenly struggling under my hands. Somehow I knew what to do. Ignoring its desperate, begging eyes, I lowered my mouth and bit down onto its vein, swiftly empting its brittle body of blood. The warm liquid running down my throat dulled the pain, only slightly. I knew I'd need more.

Eventually underneath me was the small lifeless carcass of the deer. My first kill.

I licked my lips, savouring the blood, despite it not tasting at all nice. I stood up and turned to see Jasper watching me near another tree.

"Why does it taste so…"

"Bland?" he finished.

I nodded.

He made his way towards me. "For some reason animal blood is not as satisfying as human blood. But those are the only two options."

"Yeah I think I'll stick to the first one." I replied, smiling weakly.

We hunted some more deer, but Jasper explained next time we hungry we'd have to go away or we'd start drawing attention to ourselves. It felt strange being called 'we' and 'us', but of course, I was one of them now.

So by the time I'd drained the third deer I shamefully began to cry again, without tears. Vampires couldn't properly cry. It wasn't like I hated the idea of killing animals for food. I wasn't vegetarian (by human standards), or anything like that. It was just the thought of being around humans being difficult since I was a monster, and how I could never go back to my mother ever again.

I hadn't even made it till Christmas. The natural order of things – where the parents were meant to die before the children, not the other way around – had been messed up. My mother had lost my father and then David and finally her daughter. She'd be spending Christmas alone, her birthday alone, mother's day alone. In her new, empty house.

I felt utterly miserable. By the time Jasper and I got back to the Cullens' house, my dress was practically ruined. The shiny green hadn't been designed for running, so it definitely didn't endure. It was also covered with mud at the hem, and had deer stench covering it. Well, the deer stench was pretty much covering me, too. Not to mention all the blood across my neck.

Holding my hand comfortingly, Jasper led me to the bathroom. My eyes flickered upwards from the white titled floor as I heard the lock click. I was going to question what he was doing, but couldn't quite bring myself to as he stepped back over to stand in front of me. His finger hooked underneath one of the straps of my dress and then we made eye contact.

"Sorry, do you want me to go?" he breathed, clearly not wanting to let me shower on my own.

I paused, unable to think of an excuse. "No." I whispered, surprising myself. And then I suddenly panicked at the idea of Jasper seeing me naked with my embarrassingly tiny breasts.

He raised an eyebrow. "It was just an idea."

"No, I want to." I said quickly, sliding one of my arms through one of the straps of my dress to reassure him.

He smiled and began to button down his shirt. I turned around so he could unzip the back of my dress, but he was a lot more eager than I was and was already in the shower with water raining down on him before I was ready to let my dress go.

"What are you waiting for?" Jasper asked, amused, as I tried to keep my eyes strictly on his face.

"Just don't laugh." I ordered.

"I promise."

I dropped the dress, letting it slide down to a heap on the floor. And then I promptly covered my breasts with my arms. "I'm sorry, I've never done anything like this before!" I cried over the running water.

He continued to smile anyway, if anything even more so than before, pulling me into the shower with him, but only because I'd given in. "There's a first time for everything." He murmured, reaching down to kiss me under the stream of water, causing me to finally lower my arms. Jasper descended to my neck, although carefully washed away the blood first, while I kept a hand on his muscular chest.

At least as a vampire, we could have each other without the risk of Jasper trying to kill me in the process.


	41. Air

**Tania**

After the best shower I'd ever had, I had to face the others at last. I wondered what they'd say to me. Maybe Edward would have come around, having been hostile before because of Jasper fraternising with a human, which could have got them all into trouble.

Somebody had laid out some clothes for me on Jasper's sofa. There wasn't a note but I assumed they might have been from Alice. I made a mental note to thank her later.

I had been carefully making sure to steer clear of mirrors, not particularly wanting to stare at my reflection, however taking hesitant steps down to the living room, the large full length glass in the hallway directly in front of me was unavoidable. Before, all I had to do was not turn back towards the front door, but now…

I was force to see it capturing my reflection since I only had to glance to see everything. My normally pale skin seemed clearer, and my curves had ever so slightly filled outwards so I was no longer an uneven figure. And, surprising myself again, I smiled. I didn't look like the awkward teen who didn't really understand how anyone in their right mind could like, and now looked ore how my mother seemed to appear in old photographs – elegant and more sophisticated. Perhaps it was part of being a vampire or having confidence my mother had failed to give on to me.

My eyes stuck out the most, reminding me however pretty I thought I looked, I was still a monster. The only reason I appeared that way was to deceive. To trick humans into believing they were around someone trustworthy, good. Sad, but true. The whole thing was a lie.

Jasper passed from behind me on the stairs, briefly glancing to flash me a smile. Apparently I had stopped with one hand on the banister. Dragging my eyes away from the mirror, I caught up to him.

I had never been to a 'family meeting' before so it was bound to be interesting. As soon as Jasper and I got into the room, all eyes were upon me. It seemed they had been waiting for us to make an entrance.

Emmett was the first to speak. Well, what he actually did was make some sort of clicking sound, winking at Jasper. "Enjoy the shower?" he grinned.

I gaped, thoroughly embarrassed before putting a hand over my mouth, wanting to yell something at him, but unable to think of words that weren't completely offensive.

Rosalie slapped the back of his head. "Honestly…" she muttered.

"Emmett," Jasper stepped up, sounding disappointed. "You're embarrassing her."

"Sorry, T." Emmett apologised, not as sincere as he could have been but it was probably the most I was going to get. "Too soon?"

I nodded, narrowing my eyes. "Yes, just a bit."

Carlisle cleared his throat, then, unnecessarily to get our attention. "I called us all here so we could finally get an idea of what actually happened back there, but I don't think we should continue unless…" he trailed off, looking towards me.

I stood next to Jasper awkwardly, the nearest to the door. For some reason I felt like I needed a quick escape route.

When I said nothing, Carlisle continued. "Are you alright with explaining to us what happened, Tania?" he asked me sympathetically.

Thinking my voice might betray me, I simply nodded.

"It's wearing off." Jasper exclaimed. "The memory loss. I've been able to remember her more all morning."

Alice, who was sitting in an arm chair on the other side of the room agreed. "I can recall the parts of the visions she was supposed to be in." she said. "Like when she erased her face and I couldn't remember, except now I can see her again."

"It's like her death somehow broke the barriers." Carlisle mused.

They all seemed to be purposely avoiding saying her name, which made me a little suspicious, but I supposed it was probably better no one said it.

"Did she force you to forget anything, Tania?" Esme asked.

Silence swept around the room and everyone was looking in my direction again. I sighed inwardly. I hadn't even prepared myself to talk about it or even explained to Jasper what exactly had happened in those long three days of absence. Part of me wanted to just say it and get it over with, but then if I didn't tell anyone what happened then the only person alive (or closest to being) who knew the whole truth would be me. And if it was just me then it could be buried so deep down inside me it could never have existed in the first place. After all, if a tree falls in a forest, and no one is around to hear it, would it make a sound?

I decided that it would still make a sound, though, which kind of forced me to give up on my stupid mind battle. Edward would find out everything sooner or later, and then it wouldn't be a secret anymore anyway.

"She took me to some kind of abandoned house." I said slowly, deciding until I wanted to explain more, I was only going to summarise the story. "I have no idea where… but all the windows were boarded up and it seemed kind of old fashioned and everything."

I took a breath, not daring to move my eyes up from the floor, afraid their reactions would put me off. I felt Jasper take my hand. "And then she bit me. And left me for three days in this room. I only knew how long it had been because during the day there was this small light from a gap between the boards on one of the windows. But yeah it was pretty much just like I was on fire, like you all know. When I eventually felt the pain going away, she came back so she could make me forget how to move. And then we came back to the woods."

I sighed. "That's everything."

At last I moved my eyes from the floor, watching for everyone's reactions, which were mostly a mixture of sadness and pity. It was a lot worse than what I thought I'd have to face.

"I-," I had intended to say 'I need some air', but being a vampire meant I didn't need any. "Oh my god, I don't know what to say. I just have to go." I told Jasper, frustrated.

Not hanging around to hear what anyone had to say, I left through the hallway, to the kitchen and out the back door. Not really sure where to go, I headed down the path between two large patches of grass to the cute place at the bottom of the garden I'd never really noticed before.

It was some kind of modern sheltered place with a square pond full of tiny fish, and two cream sofas under a small roof – the kind of sofas on the covers of expensive modern garden leaflets they handed out at furniture stores.

I sat on one of them, watching the fish for a second before resting my elbows on my knees and putting my head in my hands. Unsure how, I felt powerful and useless all at the same time and it was driving me insane. Caroline was dead. I killed her. I made sure of it. But the damage she'd done was too far out of my control. It had had lasting effects, whereas me killing her just made her dead.

I killed her. I killed someone.

The deer wasn't my first kill, she was. And yes, she was 'evil', but she was still a person. Like I was.

I groaned out loud, just wanting life to stop for a second so I could think, so I could work out what the hell I was supposed to do.

Glancing up again, I saw none other than Carlisle walking towards me across the large garden. I looked down again, closing my eyes. Of course someone had come out to look for me.

"Sorry, I was coming back." I said quickly once he was standing only a few feet away, despite my obvious lack of effort to even stand up.

I pulled the sleeves of my cardigan down so they covered most of my hands, even though I wasn't cold. It was mostly out of habit than anything else.

"Oh, take as much time as you need." He replied, kindly.

Chewing my lower lip, I turned away.

After a few moments of silence he asked "Did Jasper ever tell you how I turned?"

I shook my head. "He never got to that part." I admitted.

Carlisle sat down on the sofa opposite and started to explain his story of how his father used to hunt down evil – witches, werewolves and vampires – with a group, or so they claimed to. However when Carlisle had taken over, he hadn't been as eager to kill, so he had been more intelligent and actually found a vampire coven. When things got ugly, though, he had been bitten and had to hide for three days, since he knew what his father would do if he found him.

"What I'm really trying to say," Carlisle exclaimed, "is that even though you were alone, during the change, you won't have to be ever again."

I smiled. "Thanks, Carlisle," I paused. "I know, I'm incredibly fortunate and I'm so grateful for everything, but… my mother she…" I took a breath as my voice finally betrayed me. "First she lost my dad, and then she lost David and now she doesn't even have me anymore." I said quickly so that I could get the whole sentence out. "I mean, I'm going to have to fake my death. I mean-," I furrowed my brow in irritation. "Oh you know what I mean!" I gave up, shielding my face with my hands again, turning away.

After a short silence, Carlisle came to sit beside me. "I'm sorry this happened to you." He said, sincerely.

"I'm sorry, too." I replied.


	42. Plans

**Jasper**

Once Tania began to leave, I desperately wanted to follow her, however decided against doing so. She needed some time for herself, otherwise she would have pulled me with her. I ached with her frustration and sadness as I decided against sitting down, folding my arms.

For a short minute we all stayed quiet, speechless, since what could any of us say to make it all alright again? When I doubted the tension could increase any more in the atmosphere in the room, Carlisle left, which I presumed was to go after her. He was probably the best person to talk to her out of all of us.

"Does this mean we have another Edward in our midst?" Emmett tried to lighten the mood with another joke.

I stared at him.

"Aw, come on. Someone needs to tell me when it's ok." He complained.

Esme smiled softly. "When she makes a joke of it, then it will be ok." She said. I silently agreed.

There was another short silence until Rosalie's impatience got the best of her. "Does this mean we'll have to move again?" she asked to no one in particular.

Edward frowned. "We'll discuss when Carlisle and Tania get back."

Rosalie continued anyway. "Sorry, that was a dumb question. Of course we're going to have to move again." She didn't feel angry or annoyed, though, which didn't show through in her tone either.

No one answered her, only confirming her out loud thoughts. It hadn't been mentioned, but everyone knew as Tania was a vampire, we couldn't stay for long in case people saw her alive, which would be inconsistent with the abduction from after drama.

The phone began to ring on the coffee table, and one glance at the caller ID told me it was Tania's mother.

"She's been calling every day." Esme spoke.

I wondered if it might look suspicious if we moved so quickly after Tania's supposed kidnapping. Severed all ties with everyone, once again, as per usual. Tania definitely wouldn't be about losing contact with her mother, however what else could we do? She looked different and there was no way she'd be able to keep her bloodlust under control or be around her mother long. It was certainly going to be difficult, and extending the process would only make things worse.

The phone stopped ringing at last, and then it started again as her mother hopefully made sure there was definitely no one home. After another minute there was silence. And then Carlisle stepped back in, followed by Tania.

I focused on her, my eyes questioning her feelings. They seemed the same as before. Miserable, hopeless, and anxious.

I sat down on one of the sofas next to Esme and she sat on my other side. I placed an arm around her.

"Rosalie wants to know when we're moving." Edward said to Carlisle.

"You're moving?" Tania asked, her anxiety springing up.

" _We_  are." Edward corrected her. "That includes you, too."

Tania shook her head. "No, I…" she trailed off, realising the inevitable. If she didn't move, it would be too difficult for her to blend in. Someone would see her eventually, and she was supposed to be missing. "My mother…"

Carlisle sighed, gravely. "I'm sorry, Tania, but this is how it has to be. The story that you've disappeared..." he trailed off.

"Ok," she mumbled. "I understand."

Esme started talking, coming up with the idea of moving further towards the countryside where there would be more places to hunt without being noticed, while Alice thought of some distant relative becoming ill.

I half concentrated, keeping the rest of my attention on Tania, who stared at the carpet, looking like she was a million miles away, only speaking once about a small village quite far away, further south.

Soon, though, everyone started to disperse, especially since Carlisle had to go to the hospital and we had appearances to keep up.

In the hallway, Esme grabbed her coat intending to leave. She told Tania she was going to visit her mother and Tania opened her mouth as if about to say something but changed her mind. Esme hugged her, and then closed the front door behind her.

Tania and I went upstairs to my room… our room now. She fell backwards onto the bed, staring at the ceiling. "I'll never sleep again." She said flatly. "I'm not tired and never will be."

"It's not all bad." I replied defensively, closing the door.

She hummed. "I suppose." Tania looked up at me. "What do you… do?"

I sat down on the bed and then lay down beside her. She turned over onto her side so she could face me.

"Well," I said. "I used to follow you around all the time to make sure you didn't die miraculously."

She rolled her eyes. "What else?"

I smiled suggestively, slowly reaching up my hand towards her face so I could gently caress her cheek. Tania closed her eyes, giggling softly.

"I think I know how we can pass the time." I whispered.

"Do vampires do this a lot?" she whispered back.

"It definitely passes the time."

She laughed and then kissed me. Time would definitely be an easy thing to pass by.

As a newborn, Tania didn't have long until the thirst grew once more, turning her eyes to onyx. I had been getting slightly hungry over the past few days as well and since we hadn't hunted as a family in a while, we all decided to go out of town to hunt in the larger forests down south. Normally it would take hours by car for the humans, however since we all liked to drive fast it didn't take long to get there. Emmett was unhappy there wouldn't be bears. It was one of the reasons why he missed America so much.

Alice insisted Tania would enjoy the weekend, despite the fact that that area of the future she wasn't really sure on, but she said it with so much passion that Tania believed her anyway.

She still seemed to be quite anxious about the whole idea of it, though.

"Is it hunting season?" she asked me on the way in the car, whilst Edward drove and Alice rode shotgun.

"The rules are only hunting with weapons." Edward pointed out.

"Technically we have weapons." She retorted sceptically.

I squeezed her hand. "Tania, it's ok. They'll hardly know anything. It isn't like we hunt for fun."

She turned to look out the window for a second and then looked back towards me. "But what if we endanger species?" she questioned.

It continued like that for a while until she was satisfied that what we were doing was ok, although she still felt somewhat uneasy about it. I knew it wouldn't take long until she finally accepted hunting. Maybe after this weekend or the next time we hunted.

The only thing that worried me was if a stray human had wondered too far off the path into the forest, and if she had already given in to her senses at the time things definitely wouldn't turn out well. I could only hope that wouldn't happen, and hopefully with Alice's visions, we could keep clear of an incident. Hopefully.


	43. Epilogue: Family

**Tania**

For days, ever since the hunting weekend had been mentioned, I had wondered about the taste of human blood. Before, when I had gone on my first hunt in the woods to gain control of my thirst quickly, drinking deer had barely satisfied me. The taste wasn't as good as human blood, apparently, which fascinated me. Of course, it would be completely wrong to intentionally go out and seek a human to slay for their blood, but still, I wondered.

Why did vampires like human blood so much? There had always been the stupid teenage movies and novels about vampires, and they pretty much explained how vampires typically liked to drink human blood, although they never seemed to explain why. When I thought about it, the whole concept seemed very strange to me, and I never really got my head around it. That was how things were supposed to be, yet I couldn't figure out why.

I had been human before, and when I accidentally bit my lip or something the taste was alright. Not my favourite thing, of course, but some people couldn't stand blood and fainted at the sight. How was it that vampires, who used to be human, loved the taste of blood? Why did  _blood_  satisfy them and not anything else? It was just completely strange.

Once we'd gotten to the outskirts of the forest, Edward parked the car quite a while away, quite hidden in a driveway, with Carlisle's car not close behind. After the slamming of car doors, we met up and ran for a while, until entering the forest. Edward and Emmett sprinted ahead, since apparently a wild cat had escaped from a zoo and people had been trying to shoot it as it had been attacking nearby livestock. They had all been unsuccessful, though, so the guys thought they'd have it for breakfast. I could tell Jasper wanted to go with them so I told him to go ahead. I'd be perfectly fine without him. I wasn't a breakable human anymore. I didn't need someone watching over my shoulder to make sure I didn't fall down and die.

So I ran through the forest my own way, thankful for the privacy for once. Being a newborn meant being cooped up inside where my thoughts were no secret than an online blog with Edward around, and now I was alone, with enough blood around me to be pain-free.

The forest floor was wet with the rain, and only soaked more as the showers began. I loved being away from the city, listening to the sounds of the pitter-patter of droplets of water on leaves of the trees and birds chirping. It was so much more… alive, than up north, with far fewer people.

I sacrificed a few deer on my run through the trees, trying to be as humane as possible, learning that snapping their necks first was easier and then draining their bodies of blood.

After a few hours Alice and Rosalie found me walking along branches in trees high up, asking me if I'd seen any of the others. When I said no, Rosalie ran on while Alice climbed up to keep me company, updating me on how she'd found the cat but was going to let Edward have it, that is, if he won the fight, since Emmett was very keen on getting it for himself.

"Boys." I exclaimed, rolling my eyes, skipping along to another thick branch in the next tree. "They should just share."

Alice snickered. "You really don't know Emmett very well."

She hopped down and ran off. And a few minutes later was when I smelt it.

A breeze had picked up some of the leaves on the ground, rustling them as a darker cloud passed across the sky, hinting more rain making the light suddenly darker still in the shield of trees.

Uncontrollably inhaling, I automatically jumped out of the tree, landing on my feet deliberately, sauntering forwards. It was the best scent on earth, and by far the sweetest of all the animals I'd consumed that day. I had no idea what it was, I just knew I had to have it.

The cat. It had to be the cat. Hadn't Alice told me how desperately Emmett wanted to drink it? I didn't care what it was. Cat or no cat, I would drain whatever it was of blood down to the last drop. I licked my lips, no longer in control of my movements, not being able to turn back even if I wanted to.

Suddenly, before I could break into a run, a pair of arms were forced around me. One of the guys trying to stop me from eating the cat? No. The cat was mine. I understood then why the boys couldn't share. It smelt so good I couldn't imagine something tastier.

"Let go of me!" I hissed angrily, before realising it was Alice.

"No, you can't. Tania, don't!" she cried, struggling against me, although she was no match for my newborn strength.

I wrestled myself free, pushing her backwards so I could escape and run towards whatever it was that smelt so good.

"No!" I heard Alice cry from behind me, but she was too slow, and I was too fast.

I hit another barrier. This time it was Esme. She blocked my path and I tried to run forwards except she caught me. "Tania, you don't want to do this." I was confused as I struggled against her. Why did she care if Emmett got the cat or not. Unless it wasn't a cat. But then, what was it? I had never smelt an animal so wonderful in the forest. It couldn't have been an animal, then. Human.

I still didn't care. Anything that smelt that good was definitely worth it. Why were they so desperate to stop me? Couldn't they smell it too? It couldn't be just me. That would be impossible.

But what was so wrong with drinking humans anyway? They obviously smelt good so they obviously tasted much better. Jasper had told me they did. Besides, humans were more destructive than animals were, but for some reason killing animals was ok, when humans was wrong. It didn't even make any sense. Drinking evil humans… that would be ok. Surely.

Finally I managed to tangle out of Esme's grasp and was about to keep going when Carlisle and Emmett appeared. "Oh, just let me go!" I shouted, angrily.

"I'm afraid we can't do that, Tania." Carlisle replied, helping Emmett to restrain me.

"But I need it." I whined, trying to do whatever I could to get out of Emmett's tight hold. "Can't you smell it?" I breathed in, trying to get as close to the source as possible, leaning forwards and then madly trying to throw Emmett off of me.

"Jasper." I heard Carlisle say, and then he appeared in front of me.

"Jasper, tell them to let me go." I demanded, my stomach aching as the scent began to fade away, only causing me to struggle more violently in panic. I had to have it before it disappeared completely.

He watched me sadly. "Darlin', you'd regret it." He told me. "We can't let you do it."

"It's leaving. Emmett, it's leaving. I HAVE TO HAVE IT!" I screamed, thrashing against his muscular torso until finally I broke free.

I'd barely gotten a couple of feet away until Jasper had grabbed me, only this time when I tried to push him away my attempts were useless. After a few seconds I gathered he must have been using his power on me, since I'd seemed to relax against his tight hold with his arms wrapped around me. With all his experience around newborns, it must have been easy for him to think of what to do.

And then came the overwhelming feelings with the realisation of what I had almost done. "Oh my god…" I mumbled as Jasper eventually let me go. I ran my hands through my hair. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry." I said, disgusted with myself.

"It's alright." Edward said, having joined the group along with Alice.

"It happens to all of us." Emmett agreed.

Before I could think about how awful I was any longer, Jasper held out his hand. "Come on, Darlin'." He said. I took his hand. "It's time for the campfire."

Although I hated to, I dwelled on what had happened in the minutes it took for us to gather all the carcasses to burn. Jasper didn't say it, but he stuck by me and I knew it was because he was worried about something else happening. I supposed it was for the best.

I didn't want another thing like that going on again, which made me think of how much harder it would be to fit back into society. Would I ever? Humans were everywhere. Unavoidable, even. And Jasper, who had been around them for so many decades, had trouble around humans sometimes. Perhaps the fact he'd drunk humans before made it harder? I didn't know. Maybe it wasn't really worth thinking about.

The eight of us gathered around the fire of slowly burning bodies of bloodless animals, and I thought back to the fire which pretty much started the collapse of my life. I found it funny how Caroline had burned all of my possessions twice in a row, first with the fire and then turning me into a vampire. Of course, material things didn't matter. Not really. Anything of real value was lost first time around, however old and useless the objects were. I didn't really care I couldn't get any of my things back to stick to the story of me going missing. I didn't want the things; I wanted my mother not to be lonely. To live the rest of her life out in peace. Something she couldn't really have now.

I'd glossed over the idea a couple of days ago about what it would be like for my mother to become a vampire, but then it would go against everything she believed in. She liked to cherish every day – proclaiming that it was God's gift, even though I never really believed in that kind of thing. Given the choice, I doubted she would consider saying yes to changing. I somehow wanted to tell her, though, except if she knew and didn't change it would be dangerous. I wanted her to know I was ok, without her wanting to see me or being sad she had a daughter somewhere in the world who couldn't see her. Then there'd be the risk of the police… everything would be a mess. It was far easier this way – to pretend I had dropped off the face of the earth. I could only hope after a few years she'd stop searching.

"At least I don't have to go to school anymore." I said at last, trying to lighten the mood.

Carlisle smiled.

Emmett burst out with laughter.

"It wasn't even that funny." I frowned in confusion.

Jasper snickered. "Oh, no, it's just that Emmett has been waiting for you to say something like that for so long."

Emmett's laughter subsided and he said, "Nope, no more school for you for a while, which means lots of extra outside school activities. Am I right?"

Rosalie put a hand over her mouth, sounding like a mixture between crying and laughing. "If they're not going to school, I don't want to go to school either." She said to him.

Alice shook her head. "My goodness, you guys can't wait till you're alone, can you? Our adoptive parents are right there."

Edward seemed to ignore her comment and started kissing her full on the mouth. I directed my eyes away from them at the fire and then soon Jasper and I started making out, causing me to only feel the heat from the orange, flickering flames on one side of my face.

The fire died down after a couple of hours. Rosalie and Emmett fetched some more branches to keep it going for a little longer.

"I was going to have a family." I spoke as the fire had almost completely burnt out.

"We all were." Rosalie replied, sitting in Emmett's lap on a branch.

I sighed. Jasper twisted the ends of my hair in his fingers.

"But we already have a family." Esme said, warmly. "All of us."

Carlisle smiled at her, placing an arm around her shoulders. "With a new addition."

I leaned against Jasper happily at the thought of that. I didn't need to pine over the loss of not being able to have my own family. I'd had one all along.

* * *

 

**The End**

**Thank you for reading! It means a lot to me, and once again please leave me some feedback. Go to my profile and check out the sequel: _Healer, Defender, Partner_  , to find out what happens in the next stage of Tania's life in Forks :)**


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